The first year I taught high school, fresh out of college, I had several seniors in my second year French class. Those seniors turned 50 a year or so ago. This year those who were sophomores and in my first year French class that year are now turning 50. Such a sobering reminder that little Drew is not the only one who’s aging!

Someone sent me an e-mail recently to test my memory. I either watched too much television as a child or I am really old - surely not both! The e-mail said that the test was a pushover for anyone over 50. You younger readers may struggle with some of these, and some will be a great trip down memory lane for a lot of people.

So here you go, test your memory (or your ability to make intelligent guesses):

1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The buttmaster
C. Spaghetti
D. Wonder Bread
E. Orange Juice
F. Milk
G.. Cod Liver Oil

2. Before he was Muhammad Ali, he was…
A. Sugar Ray Robinson
B. Roy Orbison
C. Gene Autry
D. Rudolph Valentino
E. Fabian
F. Mickey Mantle
G. Cassius Clay

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, “We have met the enemy and….”
A. It’s you
B. He is us
C. It’s the Grinch
D. He wasn’t home
E. He’s really mean
F. We quit
G. He surrendered

4. Good night, David.
A. Good night, Chet
B. Sleep well
C. Good Night, Irene
D. Good Night, Gracie
E. See you later, alligator
F. Until tomorrow
G. Good night, Steve

5. You’ll wonder where the yellow went,
A. When you wash your clothes with Tide
B. When you lose your crayons
C. When you clean your tub
D. If you paint the room blue
E. If you buy a soft water tank
F. When you use Lady Clairol
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent

6. Before he was the Skipper’s Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie’s friend,
A. Stuart Whitman
B. Randolph Scott
C. Steve Reeves
D. Maynard G. Krebbs
E. Corky B. Dork
F. Dave the Whale
G. Zippy Zoo

7. Liar, liar…
A. You’re a liar
B. Your nose is growing
C. Pants on fire
D. Join the choir
E. Jump up higher
F. On the wire
G. I’m telling Mom

8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and…
A. Wheaties
B. Lois Lane
C. Freedom of speech
D. World peace
E. Red tights
F. The American way
G. News headlines

9. Hey, kids, what time is it?
A. It’s time for Yogi Bear
B. It’s time to do your homework
C. It’s Howdy Doody Time
D. It’s Time for Romper Room
E. It’s bedtime
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour
G. Scoopy Doo Time

10. Lions and tigers and bears…
A. Yikes
B. Oh no
C. Gee whiz
D. I’m scared
E. Oh my
F. Help! Help!
H. Let’s run

11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone
A. Over 40
B. Wearing a uniform
C. Carrying a briefcase
D. Over 30
E. You don’t know
F. Who says, “Trust me”
G. Who eats tofu

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women’s stockings.
A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C.. Joe Namath
D. Roger Stauback
E. Joe Montana
F. Steve Young
G. John Elway

13. Brylcream…
A. Smear it on
B. You’ll smell great
C. Tame that cowlick
D. Greaseball heaven
E. It’s a dream
F. We’re on your team
G. A little dab’ll do ya

14. I found my thrill…
A. And you can too
B. With my man, Bill
C. Down at the mill
D. Over the windowsill
E. On Blueberry Hill
F. Too late to enjoy
G. With thyme and dill

15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by
A. Clark Gable
B. Mary Martin
C. Doris Day
D. Errol Flynn
E. Sally Fields
F. Jim Carey
G. Jay Leno

16. Name the Beatles.
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo

17. I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder who…
A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Who are you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who am I?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?

18. I’m strong to the finish…
A. Cause I eats my broccoli
B. Cause I eats me spinach
C. Cause I lift weights
D. Cause I’m the hero
E. And don’t you forget it!
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me
G. And outlast Bruto

19. When it’s least expected, you’re elected, you’re the star today…
A. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera
B. Smile, you’re on Star Search
C. Smile, you’ve just won life’s lottery
D. Smile, we’re watching you
E. Smile, the world sees you
F. Smile, you’re a hit
G. Smile, you’re on TV

20. You can trust your car to the man who wears the star,…
A. It’s the Lone Ranger!
B. And he will take you far
C. Our man Friday
D. He’ll have you on the road in no time!
E. Deputy Dog
F. The big bright Texaco star
G. Sheriff Matt Dillon

Now for the answers….

1. d - Wonder Bread
2. g - Cassius Clay
3. b - He Is Us
4. a - Good night, Chet
5. g - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. d - Maynard G. Krebbs
7. c - Pants On Fire
8. f - The American Way
9. c - It’s Howdy Doody Time
10. e - Oh my
11. d - Over 30
12. c - Joe Namath
13. g - A little dab’ll do ya
14. g - On Blueberry Hill
15. b - Mary Martin
16. g - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. d - Who wrote the book of Love
18. b - Cause I eats me spinach
19. a - Smile, you’re on Candid Camera
20. f - The big bright Texaco star

For those who don’t know Pogo…

This has been a good week - much less busy and hectic than recent weeks have been. A week from Sunday (March 9) our grandson Drew will be a year old already! Those of you who were reading my blog at the time of his birth will be amazed that his premature birth was almost a year ago! He’s doing very well - crawling all over, smiling with six teeth, and pulling himself up on furniture. Grandma and Aunt Nora will be driving up for a long weekend to help celebrate his birthday. Grandpa will be holding down the fort here, quenching his students’ thirst for knowledge and feeding the livestock (our herd of two cats). I’m sure they’ll send me pictures to post.

quotation…

“We often minimize our sin because we don’t see it as an act of defiance against God.” - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

If Barbie was so popular, why did you have to buy her friends?

Last week a teaching colleague who has a 4-year-old daughter and who is one of my friends on Facebook wrote on my Facebook wall, “Today at lunch, Kirsten said: There’s that man that I love! I was pretty sure that I knew who she meant, but to be sure, I said: which man? She said: The one with the silver hair. :)”

In addition to giving me a good laugh, it totally made my day! Kirsten’s mama further explained to me this morning that little Kirsten says her own hair is “silver,” which made me even happier.

Thinking about silver hair, as I was looking through some stuff in my files, I found a version of a the story “I’m my own grandpa.” I had heard the song once at the Wilds, and I decided to see what I could find out about it before posting it to my blog. It’s really an interesting tale based on a real life story. Not quite as convoluted as that story is something from my own family - my uncle and his uncle (my great-uncle) married sisters. So then my uncle’s sister-in-law was also his aunt, and his uncle was also his brother-in-law. The sisters were not only sisters, but also aunt and niece. (I should probably pass on redneck humor very carefully, considering my own family history!) Anyway, on to the blog post….

I’m My Own Grandpa

An article in a New England newspaper - “A Man His Own Grandfather,” The Fitchburg Sentinel (Fitchburg, Mass.), 30 July 1877 - reported an interesting story about the suicide note of a man named William Harmen:

A man at Titusville, Pa., recently committed suicide in his horror at finding that he was his own grandfather. The way it was thus told in his dying statement: “I married a widow who had a grown-up daughter. My father visited our house very often, fell in love with my step-daughter and married her. So my father became my son-in-law, and my step-daughter my mother, because she was my father’s wife. Sometime afterward my wife had a son; he was my father’s brother-in-law, and my uncle for he was the brother of my stepmother. My father’s wife - i.e., my stepmother - had also a son; he was, of course, my brother, and in the meantime my grandchild, for he was the son of my daughter. My wife was my grandmother, because she was my mother’s mother. I was my wife’s husband and grandchild at the same time. And as the husband of a person’s grandmother is his grandfather, I am my own grandfather.”

An article in Wikipedia, speaking of the song that comes from this story, affirms:

Although the song continues to mention that both the narrator’s wife and daughter had children by the narrator and his father, respectively, the narrator actually becomes “his own grandpa” once his father marries the woman’s daughter.

* The narrator marries the older woman. - This results in the woman’s daughter becoming his stepdaughter.
* Subsequently, the narrator’s father marries the older woman’s daughter.
* The woman’s daughter, being the new wife of the narrator’s father, is now both his stepdaughter and his stepmother. Concurrently, the narrator’s father, being his stepdaughter’s husband, is also his stepson-in-law.
* The narrator’s wife, being the mother of his stepmother, makes her both spouse and step-grandmother.
* The husband of the narrator’s wife would then be the narrator’s step-grandfather. Since the narrator is that person, he has managed to become his own (step-)grandfather.

I’m not quite sure I followed that, but….

An interesting history of this story and how it has resurfaced and evolved through the years, attributed to various sources - including Mark Twain - can be found at http://www.genealogymagazine.com/grandpa.html

If you’d like to hear the song (downloaded from YouTube) performed by Dennis Warner, you can do so below.

quotation…

“Humility is a low opinion of my own opinion.” - Dr. Greg Mazak

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Lead your life so you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

On this last day of the year 2007, it’s a time of reflection and of anticipation. For those of us who made resolutions for changes we wanted to make in our lives in 2007 - we’d better work fast! Not that many hours remain to accomplish them all!

Maybe it’s because I’m a teacher and have lots of “new beginnings” in my life - new school years, new semesters, etc., but for some reason I’m not actully one for making “new year’s resolutions,” but I know that some people just love them. Several years ago, I posted sent out an iv of New Year’s Resolutions we all could keep. You can read that by clicking here.

As the new year brings a new month, I resolve to get more points this month than in December. I resolve also to eliminate as many items as possible from the “honey-do list” before the new semester begins on January 9, 2008.

I’d enjoy reading resolutions for 2007 that you kept or some of your resolutions for 2008.

I’ve seen some really funny lists of resolutions online. One motif went something like this:

2004: I will see my dentist this year.
2005: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2006: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2007: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.
2008….

Now on to some other unique lists of New Year’s Resolutions…

Senior Citizens’ New Year’s Resolutions…

Be awake more than asleep

STOP USING ALL CAPS IN MY E-MAILS

>> try and prune >>> all these >> chevrons
>> when forwarding jokes >>>, urban legends >>> spam >> false virus alerts >>> recipes and
pathetic >>> inspirational thoughts >>>> and chain
>>>
>>> letters >>>>>>

Remember the names of my kids and grandkids

See my family more often than my doctor

Learn a new game besides Bingo

Learn NOT to say “Whipper Snapper”

Learn NOT to say “In my day…”

Spend more time on the computer than the toilet

Attend all the meetings of Obsessive-Compulsive Anonymous, where I shall take verbatim notes and then check them for spelling, syntax, and grammar

Learn to pronounce the names of all medications I have to take

Try to take things seriously, once in a while. (Note: I said “things” not people!)

Household Pets’ New Year’s Resolutions…

Dog: Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.

Cat: I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

Dog or Cat: Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing monster does to us when no one is around.

Fish: Swim counter-clockwise this year.

Dog: Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell other dogs.

Cat: I will not perch on my human’s chest in the middle of the night and stare into his eyes until he wakes up.

Hamster: Don’t let them figure out I’m just a rat on ‘roids, or they’ll flush me for sure!

Dog or Cat: Always scoot before licking

Cat: Just because I hear voices in my head, I do not have to answer them.

Dog: Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

Fish: Get out of the castle more

Dog: January 1 - Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2 - December 31 Relive victory over the sock.

Cat: When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.

Dog: I will NOT chase the stupid stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND!

Cat: When my human is typing at the computer, I will remember two things - my human’s forearms are not a hammock, and I must not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important emio gnaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35 a.

***
It’s been a while since I posted - we were all too busy and fulfilled for blogging! We thoroughly enjoyed this last week with many good family times together. It was a nice, restful week of doing things together that we all enjoy. It was especially nice to have everyone together several times. We didn’t get to do our family Christmas celebration until we were all in town and together, on Thursday. We all went out to our son Mark and daughter-in-law Katie’s house Saturday evening for a cookout. The picture below is from that evening.

Of course, one of the things we enjoyed most was our grandson Drew’s first Christmas. He is big enough to enjoy what’s going on, although he has no real comprehension of it all. Below are some pictures we’d like to share.

Here’s Drew being handed a gift to try to open…

Just sitting on the couch was too boring, so here he is getting at the presents under the tree…

Drew is on the verge of crawling - he rocks on all fours, goes in circles, and scoots backwards. Here he is “almost crawling” to get to a toy….

He also loves to stand, though attempts at walking have yet to be exhibited. Here he is at Mark and Katie’s…

Grandma and I had a great time playing with little Drew! Here’s a picture of Grandma reading to our little guy…

Our Christmas gifts involved a lot of things we made for loved ones ourselves. One of the really fun gifts this year was cornhole boards and bags that Jim and Megan made, one set for our son Mark and one set for our daughter Nora’s boyfriend Aron. We all went outdoors for a while to try them out. Here’s a picture of Becka and Megan trying their hand at tossing the bags to the board at Nora and Katie’s end of the yard.

wellness challenge update…

Many of the faculty and staff at BJU are participating in a wellness challenge for one full year - from September 1, 2007 to August 31, 2008. Rather than my repeating all the details of the wellness challenge here, if you want to know more, you can read about it by clicking on “wellness” under Tags in the sidebar on my blog. The end of November marked the end of the first quarter of the challenge. My wife and I both had accumulated enough points to be in the “gold” category. We could each choose between a nice cash prize or an iPod Nano. Becka chose the cash, and I chose the iPod. I’m enjoying it very much and listening to some of my favorite music as I put this blog post together. Its capacity is 4 GB, and though I put over 200 songs on it, I’ve not even used up 1/4 of the space. I’ll have to explore putting some of my favorite pictures on the iPod.

It’s a good thing the first quarter ended on November 30 instead of today! This past couple of weeks the wellness challenge has been … well, a challenge! ‘Nuff said….

quotation…

“God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.” - unknown

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

In the new year … First things first! But not necessarily in that order.

Several thoughts colliding in my mind made me think of what I’m posting today. The first thought is of all the news of toy recalls because of the dangers they pose to children. The second thought is an amusing/disturbing event this week. I’ll try to relate this as concisely as possible. A colleague stopped me in the hall to ask my age, to which I replied, “I’m 56.” She said that that’s what she thought, since she thought we were about the same age. She went on to explain that one of my students used me as an example in a project on Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development for her class. My student said that I was an example of someone in the “Integrity vs. Despair” stage of life - the eighth and final stage of life! She said that I was a grandfather in his mid-sixties. Yikes! I must look really old! Maybe I need a make-over….

Well, anyway, thinking about safety concerns for those in Erikson’s stage 1 - a stage I went through WAY back in the last millennium - and about the fact that as doddering as I am, I’ve somehow still survived reminded me of something I’ve received about other survivors like me.

Can You Believe We Survived!?

According to today’s over-zealous regulators, those of us who were kids in the 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and maybe even early 70s, probably shouldn’t have survived.

First, we survived being born to mothers who took aspirin, ate bleu cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We slept on our backs or our stomachs, whichever way was more comfortable. And we slept in back rooms or upstairs with the doors closed so no one would wake up.

We had no childproof lids or locks on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets.

As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts, or air bags. It was a sad rite of passage, when as a child, you were too tall to stand up in the back seat and look out!

Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat, and the more the merrier!

We drank water from the tap and even the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one got sick or died from this.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we had forgotten the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We would also build our own skateboards from a board and an old pair of skates. We rode our homemade skateboards and our bicycles, and we skated - with no knee pads, no elbow pads, and no helmets. We learned that falling hurt, and we learned to avoid falls.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and often well into the evening after supper. No one was able to reach us during any of this time. No cell phones or pagers, just Mom yelling out the front door or calling our friend’s house in an emergency. And we were OK.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 256 channels on cable, DVD movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, Internet, or chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS! We went outside and found them!

We played dodge ball, and sometimes, the ball would really hurt. We fell out of trees, got cut, some even broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents? They were what we called things that happened usually because of our own carelessness.

We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks, stones, string, and cans, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with the disappointment, to get better at the game, or do something else.

Some students weren’t as smart as others, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade.

Tests were not adjusted for any reason. Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected.

The idea of parents bailing us out if we got in trouble in school or broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the school or the law!

Those generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, and inventors, ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success, and responsibility - and we learned how to deal with it!

If you’re one of the kids described above and survived to read about it, CONGRATULATIONS!

***
Now I will say that we have learned somethings through the years, and my generation probably took some unnecessary risks because we just didn’t know better. But it is interesting to consider how out-of-proportion some of aspects of life have become. I guess it’s job security for those who know better than we do what’s best for us….

quotation…

“Our fears always pale when compared to the power of an omnipotent God.” - Jon Daulton

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

My annual annoyance at having to switch from Daylight Savings Time to “real time” has been expanded this year by a decision from our Congress-critters (those that I prefer to think of as “they who know what’s best for the rest of us, even though many of their own personal lives are in shambles”) - their decision that we not only have to change the time, but also to change the week that we have to change the time! Tell that to our laptop and to our kitchen radio!!! They both reset themselves to “real time” last Sunday. Grr! The radio, I can do nothing to remedy - the autoset is built in. But for the computer I found a handy little free utility you can download from Microsoft called tzedit. You can download it by clicking on the link in the previous sentence. Save it to somewhere on your computer where you can find it, run the application, choose the Sundays you want the computer to change its time, and you shouldn’t have to do anything more … well maybe not until our Congress-critters decide to have us change time on other Sundays - like the 9th Sunday before the Solstace or some such equally sensible thing. Good grief!

I don’t want to sound like an grumpy, old man bemoaning constant changes, but I’m nothing like the woman who wrote what I’m posting today!

We Must Stop These Changing Times … Immediately!

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper? Groceries are heavier? And, everything is farther away? Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

Also I have noticed the ground is harder, trails are longer, and the nights have become a lot colder than they used to be!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up, they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?!

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day, and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me! I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, really now, even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You’re risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, and thighs?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually *believe* the number I see on that dial?! HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on - but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

One good thing, though - I’m getting stronger! I can now carry $50 worth of groceries in one hand. Used to have make several trips to get them from the car to the kitchen!

WE MUST GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

P.S. By the way, if you’re reading this online and are having trouble with the smaller fonts web designers are using nowadays, you can increase the size of the font easily with the scroll wheel on your mouse. Just hold down the Ctrl key and turn the scroll wheel. This works with Internet Explorer, Firefox, and Opera browsers.

***
Our daughter Megan took some cute pictures of our grandson Drew yesterday in the leaves. He looks so happy in this picture, right before what Megan has called his “meltdown.” He has been a little crabby for several days, but yesterday afternoon he just cried and cried inconsolably. Megan did some checking and discovered that he’s cutting two bottom front teeth - his first. Poor little guy. Anyway, here he is when he used to be a happy child…

Last weekend the Detroit Zoo had what was called Boo at the Zoo for parents with small children. Meg and Jim dressed Drew up like a little sweet pea and took him to the zoo. Here’s a picture of our little “Sweet Pea.”

***
Month two of the wellness program is past. I’ve met my goals both months. If I lose two more pounds, I’ll be into the category for my height. If I can’t shed those two pounds, I may buy elevator shoes instead.

It’s hard to believe how fast this semester is flying by! Three weeks from today is Thanksgiving Day. My wife and I will be here at home alone with a Cornish game hen or something, since our two local kids will be out of town for Thanksgiving.

quotation…

“God is a Person who has everything you really need and who joys in pouring it out on you every day.” - Dr. Dan Olinger

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

“Children are allergic to clean clothes.” - Dr. Gary Guthrie