ivman's blague

Most of you know that my wife and I recently visited the Creation Museum during our vacation. Quite a few people commented that they also found the museum to be a great blessing. I have never had any difficulty believing the Biblical account of the flood or of Noah’s ark, and so I didn’t need to be convinced of anything. But it was great to see the wonderful explanations of how the whole account could very well have taken place and the overwhelming evidence in the fossil record that is explainable only by a cataclysmic event like the world-wide flood - and so, why not the biblical world-wide flood?!

Here’s a list of valuable lessons that can be learned from Noah’s experience….

Lessons From Noah’s Ark

Plan ahead - it wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.

Stay fit - when you’re 600 years old, you might be asked to do something REALLY big.

Don’t listen to critics - just do what has to be done.

Build on high ground.

For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.

Speed isn’t always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.

If you can’t fight or flee - float!

Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.

Don’t forget that we’re all in the same boat.

When the doo-doo gets really deep, don’t sit there and complain - shovel!

Stay below deck during the storm.

Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.

If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.

Remember that the woodpeckers inside are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.

Don’t miss the boat.

No matter how bleak it looks, when you’re one with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting for you.

When God shuts the door on this world for the last time, be sure you are on the right side of that door.

quotation…

“I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.” - Jesus, in John 10:9

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Adam’s Rib: the original bone of contention.

Tags: animals, Bible, educational

Several weeks ago my wife Becka and I celebrated our anniversary by spending an afternoon at the Western North Carolina Nature Center that features animals native to the Appalachians. We really enjoyed it and recommend it to others. Here are a few pictures from our visit….

They had two black bears - here’s one of them…

They had white-tailed deer…

… and turkeys…

One of the bobcats was way up in a tree. I was able to zoom in on him….

We were glad that there was thick glass between us and the wolves!

chickadee update…

Here’s what the wildlife in our back yard looks like as of this afternoon….

It’s absolutely amazing how much they have grown in just three days! You can look at the picture in the blog post before this one to see the difference.

In keeping with today’s wildlife theme, here are several humorous reports.

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated “Wash. Biol. Surv.” until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

“Dear Sirs:
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible.”

The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.

***
From note found posted on a trail in Colorado:

- BEAR WARNING -

The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the area. We advise that people wear noise producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. We also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of bear activity. People should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper.

quotation…

“Telling people the truth is more important than getting along with them. But be sure to tell the truth in love.” - Mike Knight

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?

Tags: animals, birds, camping, signs

Today I’m posting four short things that, on the surface, don’t seem to be related. Read on to find out the connection.

apes…

1. Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb toward the banana.

2. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water.

3. Turn off the cold water. If later another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will try to prevent it even though no water sprays them.

4. Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

5. Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

6. Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

7. After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes who were sprayed with cold water have been replaced.

Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?

“Because that’s the way it’s ALWAYS been done around here.”

horses…

What to do when you discover that you are riding a dead horse:

Buy a stronger whip.

Change riders.

Threaten the horse with termination.

Appoint a committee to study the horse.

Arrange to visit other countries to see how they ride dead horses

Lower the standard so the dead horses can be included.

Reclassify the dead horse as living impaired.

Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

Harness several dead horses together to increase the speed.

Provide additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance.

Do a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance.

Declare that the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

Rewrite the expected performance requirements for all dead horses.

Promote the dead horse to a supervisory status.

hams…

When my wife Becka taught Home Economics (back in the days before it was called “Family and Consumer Science”), she used to tell her students the following story:

A girl who wanted to learn to be a good cook was watching her mother prepare a ham to go into the oven. Before her mother put it into the pan, she cut a large section off the end of the ham. Her daughter asked her why she had done that. The mother replied, “That’s how my mom did it when I was learning to cook from her.”

Not wanting to miss out on any great family cooking secrets, the girl asked, “What does that do for the ham, Mom?”

“I don’t know,” replied the mother. “I’ll call Grandma to ask her.”

Later that day the mother called the grandmother to tell her about the daughter’s interest in learning to cook and to ask her why she cut the end off the ham. The grandmother replied, “I don’t know why you do that. I always did it because the pan I had back then was too small for a ham.”

I fear that there are many things that we do in life, not because we have a good reason for doing so, but because that’s all we know to do - it’s how we’ve ALWAYS done it. And that fact short circuits all logic and reason. Many businesses, schools, churches, organizations, and families carry on procedures and/or traditions whose origins are long since lost. I’m not saying that just because a new idea comes along, it’s automatically better than anything tried before. But I think that many of us miss out because we weren’t unwilling to do things differently. Sometimes the best thing to do really is to dismount and bury that dead horse!

So where does the square dancing come in? A friend from college days now living in Pennsylvania sent me a link to a video of some people who weren’t content to keep doing something they way it had always done it. She wrote, “Hey, Rob! This is the week of the PA Farm Show - a big event in our state. I was looking at the schedule online, and was very interested to see that this year (for the second time), they are having Tractor Square Dancing. I have read about this in Country magazine, but have never seen it. It sounds hilarious. I decided to see if I could find a video on line and found one. The video (from last year’s Farm Show) is a five minutes clip and you really have to watch it all the way to the end. Don’t miss the ’split and swing’! Enjoy!”

So, in this instant vacation about trying out new ideas and procedures, ivman has done just that - I’ve embedded video in my blog. Those of you reading this in e-mail or a blog-reader may need to go to the blog to see the video. Since this is something new for me, I don’t know how this will work in those other contexts. Click in the square below to start the video. It’s a rather large file and may take a while to load, but it’s so worth it!

quotation…

“Let’s stop giving lip service if we’re not willing to give life service.” - Mark Herbster

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Rob

Due to financial constraints, the light at the end of the tunnel has been extinguished.

Tags: animals, students, traditions

On this last day of the year 2007, it’s a time of reflection and of anticipation. For those of us who made resolutions for changes we wanted to make in our lives in 2007 - we’d better work fast! Not that many hours remain to accomplish them all!

Maybe it’s because I’m a teacher and have lots of “new beginnings” in my life - new school years, new semesters, etc., but for some reason I’m not actully one for making “new year’s resolutions,” but I know that some people just love them. Several years ago, I posted sent out an iv of New Year’s Resolutions we all could keep. You can read that by clicking here.

As the new year brings a new month, I resolve to get more points this month than in December. I resolve also to eliminate as many items as possible from the “honey-do list” before the new semester begins on January 9, 2008.

I’d enjoy reading resolutions for 2007 that you kept or some of your resolutions for 2008.

I’ve seen some really funny lists of resolutions online. One motif went something like this:

2004: I will see my dentist this year.
2005: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2006: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2007: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.
2008….

Now on to some other unique lists of New Year’s Resolutions…

Senior Citizens’ New Year’s Resolutions…

Be awake more than asleep

STOP USING ALL CAPS IN MY E-MAILS

>> try and prune >>> all these >> chevrons
>> when forwarding jokes >>>, urban legends >>> spam >> false virus alerts >>> recipes and
pathetic >>> inspirational thoughts >>>> and chain
>>>
>>> letters >>>>>>

Remember the names of my kids and grandkids

See my family more often than my doctor

Learn a new game besides Bingo

Learn NOT to say “Whipper Snapper”

Learn NOT to say “In my day…”

Spend more time on the computer than the toilet

Attend all the meetings of Obsessive-Compulsive Anonymous, where I shall take verbatim notes and then check them for spelling, syntax, and grammar

Learn to pronounce the names of all medications I have to take

Try to take things seriously, once in a while. (Note: I said “things” not people!)

Household Pets’ New Year’s Resolutions…

Dog: Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.

Cat: I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

Dog or Cat: Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing monster does to us when no one is around.

Fish: Swim counter-clockwise this year.

Dog: Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell other dogs.

Cat: I will not perch on my human’s chest in the middle of the night and stare into his eyes until he wakes up.

Hamster: Don’t let them figure out I’m just a rat on ‘roids, or they’ll flush me for sure!

Dog or Cat: Always scoot before licking

Cat: Just because I hear voices in my head, I do not have to answer them.

Dog: Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

Fish: Get out of the castle more

Dog: January 1 - Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2 - December 31 Relive victory over the sock.

Cat: When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.

Dog: I will NOT chase the stupid stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND!

Cat: When my human is typing at the computer, I will remember two things - my human’s forearms are not a hammock, and I must not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important emio gnaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35 a.

***
It’s been a while since I posted - we were all too busy and fulfilled for blogging! We thoroughly enjoyed this last week with many good family times together. It was a nice, restful week of doing things together that we all enjoy. It was especially nice to have everyone together several times. We didn’t get to do our family Christmas celebration until we were all in town and together, on Thursday. We all went out to our son Mark and daughter-in-law Katie’s house Saturday evening for a cookout. The picture below is from that evening.

Of course, one of the things we enjoyed most was our grandson Drew’s first Christmas. He is big enough to enjoy what’s going on, although he has no real comprehension of it all. Below are some pictures we’d like to share.

Here’s Drew being handed a gift to try to open…

Just sitting on the couch was too boring, so here he is getting at the presents under the tree…

Drew is on the verge of crawling - he rocks on all fours, goes in circles, and scoots backwards. Here he is “almost crawling” to get to a toy….

He also loves to stand, though attempts at walking have yet to be exhibited. Here he is at Mark and Katie’s…

Grandma and I had a great time playing with little Drew! Here’s a picture of Grandma reading to our little guy…

Our Christmas gifts involved a lot of things we made for loved ones ourselves. One of the really fun gifts this year was cornhole boards and bags that Jim and Megan made, one set for our son Mark and one set for our daughter Nora’s boyfriend Aron. We all went outdoors for a while to try them out. Here’s a picture of Becka and Megan trying their hand at tossing the bags to the board at Nora and Katie’s end of the yard.

wellness challenge update…

Many of the faculty and staff at BJU are participating in a wellness challenge for one full year - from September 1, 2007 to August 31, 2008. Rather than my repeating all the details of the wellness challenge here, if you want to know more, you can read about it by clicking on “wellness” under Tags in the sidebar on my blog. The end of November marked the end of the first quarter of the challenge. My wife and I both had accumulated enough points to be in the “gold” category. We could each choose between a nice cash prize or an iPod Nano. Becka chose the cash, and I chose the iPod. I’m enjoying it very much and listening to some of my favorite music as I put this blog post together. Its capacity is 4 GB, and though I put over 200 songs on it, I’ve not even used up 1/4 of the space. I’ll have to explore putting some of my favorite pictures on the iPod.

It’s a good thing the first quarter ended on November 30 instead of today! This past couple of weeks the wellness challenge has been … well, a challenge! ‘Nuff said….

quotation…

“God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.” - unknown

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

In the new year … First things first! But not necessarily in that order.

Tags: aging, animals, holidays, senior citizens, wellness

My wife and I have been wanting to go to the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta ever since it opened two years ago. We decided that that was something we wanted to do during our Christmas break this year. As we talked about it, we decided that yesterday would be the perfect day for us to go there since it was a weekday and would be before most schools would be out for Christmas break. We went to their website and bought our tickets in advance.

On our way to the Atlanta area we stopped at one of our favorite places along I-85 in Georgia - the Mayfield dairy visitor center in Braselton, GA - get off at exit 129 and follow the signs. We both enjoyed a favorite - a scoop of turtle tracks ice cream. The folks at Mayfield had decorated their cow outside for the season…

Our plan for visiting the aquarium could not have been better. We sat in the car in the parking structure and ate the lunch we’d brought along since Becka had seen online that the food prices in the aquarium’s food court were too high for our tastes. After eating we walked to the building and arrived 20 minutes before the entry time we had signed up for, but no problem. There was no line outside at all and we were able to go in early. There were plenty of people there, but it was by no means crowded at all. Bliss! As I share some photos we took, I apologize for the quality of some - I was trying to do them without flash (sometimes mandatorially and sometimes optionally). But since it took longer for the pictures to take, either my subjects moved or I moved the camera slightly, both of which motions altered the clarity.

Throughout the day I just kept praising God again and again for His creation! It was wonderful to see such a huge display of the infinite creativity of the Lord in the creatures He made to inhabit this planet with us!

The first exhibit we visited was the Ocean Voyager exhibit. What a great way to get started! The observation window in that exhibit is the second largest viewing window in the world at 23 feet tall by 61 feet wide and the acrylic window is 2 feet thick! The scene behind the window is amazing with schools of beautiful fish, several kinds of stingrays, enormous goliath grouper and several kinds of sharks, including hammerhead sharks and zebra sharks. The tank itself - the size of an American football field and containing 6.3 million gallons of water - was built to be large enough to house whale sharks, the largest known fish in the world. Below is a picture of one of their whale sharks…

On one of our visits back to that exhibit, we were fortunate to be there at the whale shark’s feeding time. The whale shark would be no threat to people since the opening of its throat is the size of a quarter. That kind of shark is a filter feeder, sucking in large amounts of water to filter out the krill and other creatures small enough for it to swallow. There’s also a 100-foot-long underwater tunnel through which you can walk and see the inhabitants of that tanks swim all around you and above you.

Each of the other four exhibits was interesting and unique, bringing to our inspection creatures from all over the world. The creatures we saw were extremely varied and fascinating. We saw horseshoe crabs, shrimp, Amazonian tropical fish, sea stars, African black-footed penguins, sea anemones, Australian leafy sea dragons, a giant Pacific octopus, seahorses, Japanese spider crabs, California sea lions, sea otters, and on and on I could go.

I’d like to share with you some of the things we found the most amazing or amusing. We saw some odd little creatures called garden eels. They live in little holes they’ve dug for themselves in the sand. They are about 16 inches long, but the most we ever saw was about the 6 inches that peeked out when no fish were nearby. Here’s the best shot I could get of the garden eels…

Other strange creatures we saw were the jelly fish. The colors and their movements were really cool….

The loggerhead turtles were really fun to watch and kind of made me think of the turtle tracks ice cream at Mayfield’s dairy…

We thoroughly enjoyed watching the antics of their five Asian small-clawed river otters. They moved about so quickly that I really had a struggle to get a clear shot of any of them. Here’s my best shot…

Another really cool observation window was the one for the beluga whales. (BELUGA! for those of you who remember the “Bulbous Bouffant” thing that was popular a could of years ago.) The aquarium has three belugas - one male and two females (a mother and her daughter.) Here’s a picture of the three beluga whales…

We enjoyed watching them for a long time - it was just so soothing! They can swim upside down. Here’s a shot of Nico, the male, swimming upside down.

Nico seemed to enjoy swimming near the front of the tank where people were watching. The guides told us that the creatures inside could see us, just as we could see them. Here’s a shot I took of my wife Becka watching Nico…

Our advice to anyone who’s thinking about going there and has never been before:

1. Forget the 4-D show, unless you’ve never seen a 3-D show before. It was cute, but it was a cartoon, rather than real sea creatures. There was another “dimension” to the show that made it 4-D, but since the place is already expensive enough, it’s not a necessary part of a positive visit to the Atlanta Aquarium.

2. Don’t take any child younger than about 7 or 8. We saw a number of children younger than that thoroughly not enjoying themselves. Children under 3 are free, but really don’t take much of it in at all and can be downright annoying to those who are trying to enjoy their experiences. (Read: we saw and heard plenty of crabby babies and toddlers, and the only crabs should be those inside the acrylic. And children 3 to 8 really don’t know enough to fully appreciate what they’re seeing, unless your (grand)child is a prodigy, of course….

3. A good starting time for your visit would be at noon or maybe 12:30. That way, you could eat your lunch before going in, yet still have plenty of time to visit all afternoon.

We ended our Atlanta experience by eating dinner at the cafeteria at the Dekalb Farmers Market and shopping for some great produce and specialty items before heading back to Greenville.

What a pleasant day! We’d do it again in a heartbeat! We’d love to hear that this has inspired some of you to go visit it too.

Tags: animals, Atlanta, educational, math and science, travel