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Posts Tagged ‘auctions’

Hoosier Valentine?


My wife and I splurged this year for Valentine's Day. We've been looking for a Hoosier cabinet for over a year, as mentioned in a recent iv about auctions. Well, Sunday a man from our church who is an antique dealer and who knew we'd been looking for a Hoosier told us that he had seen one in nice condition and at a very good price in another antique shop here in town. We went out Monday to check it out, bought it, and brought it home that day as our Valentine's gift to each other. Here's a picture of it in our kitchen:

picture of our Hoosier cabinet

If you want to learn a little more about Hoosier cabinets, you can click on the word Hoosier anywhere it appears in the text of this iv. Ours is made by the company mentioned from New Castle, Indiana.

Today's instant vacation is some miscellaneous humor about love and marriage, in honor of Valentine's Day.

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the chuppa (wedding canopy) and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front row responded with ripples of laughter. Even the rabbi smiled broadly. The groom watched his bride nervously.

As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

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Little Mary was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, "Why did the lady change her mind?"

Her mother asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another one."

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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother explained, keeping it simple.

The child thought for a moment and said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

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Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, "We've been married twenty-five years, and every night my husband has complained about the food. Not one night goes by without him complaining about the food."

The other woman said, "That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?"

The first one said, "Why should I object if he doesn't like his own cooking?"

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A grandmother overheard 5-year-old Christy "playing wedding." The wedding vows went like this:

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be held against you. You have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

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A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."

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Happy Valentine's Day to all who celebrate it!

quotation...

"We serve God directly, but we also serve Him by serving others." - Dr. M. Bruce McAllister

=^..^= =^..^=
With much love to all,
Rob

Courtship is like looking at the beautiful photos in a seed catalog. Marriage is what actually comes up in your garden.


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Auctions


Recently my wife and I experienced a slice of Americana with which we were not familiar - we attended an estate auction. My wife would like to find a Hoosier cabinet in good shape to give us more storage in our kitchen, and a friend told us about one to be sold at the estate auction we attended. The cabinet was in pretty rough condition, and at the prices that other things were going for, we did not stay until the larger pieces of furniture were auctioned off. But the people and the atmosphere were very interesting to us novices! In light of that, I'm sending some things related to auctions - the first items are humorous, and the last item is a more reflective piece about an auction.

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A man went to a bird auction one day. While there, he placed a bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the fine bird was finally his!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Oh, do not worry," said the auctioneer. "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

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A battered old television set was put up for sale at an auction. Although the auctioneer insinuated that he didn't think it would ever work, a man bid it up to $20. The man gave his bidder number as 45. Later, a woman bought an article and announced her bidder number as 45. Wanting to verify the number, the auctioneer asked if the man who bought the TV was her husband. "I claimed him as my husband," she snapped, "before he bought that television set."

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Auction: A popular social gathering where you change a horse from a financial liability into a liquid asset.

Auctioneer: A person who looks forbidding.

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Two idiots bought a bunch of horses at an auction, paying $100 apiece for the whole lot of them. Then they drove to another auction and sold all their horses for the same price they had initially paid for them. After counting their money, they realized that they ended up with the same amount of money that they had started out with initially. "See!" said one, "I told you we should have bought more horses!"

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Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously, when the auctioneer received a note from an assistant, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000." There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came a cry, "Two Thousand Five Hundred!"

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At an auction a man bought, for what he thought a reasonable price, both a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt. He was very happy with them, since the price he paid was so low, for objects made by very famous people. He decided to go to an appraiser and have them officially valued. The appraiser said, "Well sir, indeed it's a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt, but it's a shame Stradivarius couldn't paint and Rembrandt couldn't build violins."

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Finally an old favorite - a poem about an auction...

The Old Violin - Myra Brooks Welch

'Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile.
"What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who'll start the bidding for me?"
"A dollar, a dollar. Then two! Only two?
Two dollars, and who'll make it three?"

"Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three..." But no,
From the room, far back, a grey-haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loosened strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet,
As a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said: "What am I bid for the old violin?"
And he held it up with the bow.
"A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two?
Two thousand! And who'll make it three?
Three thousand, once; three thousand, twice,
And going and gone," said he.

The people cheered, but some of them cried,
"We do not quite understand.
What changed its worth?" Swift came the reply:
"The touch of the Master's hand."
And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd
Much like the old violin.

A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine,
A game - and he travels on.
He is "going" once, and "going" twice,
He's "going" and almost "gone."
But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought
By the touch of the Master's hand.

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updates...

The membership of the ivman list has passed the 1700 mark this past week. That's a growth of 100 new subscribers in the last two months! I'm truly amazed!

My wife and I attended the funeral service for Dr. Fremont last Tuesday evening and were blessed and encouraged as his son, grandson, and son-in-law eulogized him. As we had suspected, at home he was exactly what we all saw in public. I remember fondly his giving us "general prin-ci-PLLLes" (my attempt in writing to simulate his pronunciation of the word) in his classes. Some of those principles were alluded to that night as an integral part of his daily way of life. Dr. Fremont lived what he taught. It's sad that recent generations of college students have not been able to sit under his teaching. This was evident by those in attendance at the funeral - the average age of those in attendance must have been between 55 and 60. I've copied Dr. Fremont's obituary from the Greenville News and put it on my website at http://ivman.com/drfremont.html for those of you who would like to read it.

quotation...

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." - Winston Churchill

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

One sure way you can tell that you're getting older is if you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!


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