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Posts Tagged ‘Bible’

Biblical Headlines


Is there a liberal bias in today's mainstream media (MSM) in America? I have firmly believed for a long time that our nation's mainstream media is slanted to the left, but in recent months their liberal bias is undeniable by any honest person.

If there had been TV news and newspapers in Bible times, one would need very little imagination to come up with what would have been some of their headlines if they'd been written by the likes of today's MSM with their propensity for distortion, spin, and sensationalistic hype, using emotionally-charged words.

If Biblical headlines were written by today's liberal media...

On Red Sea crossing:
WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed

On David vs. Goliath:
HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock

On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:
FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed

On the birth of Christ:
HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple

On feeding the 5,000:
LAY PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior

On healing the 10 lepers:
LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED
Faith Healer Preys on Terminally Ill

On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:
MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer Faces Bankruptcy After Loss of Pigs

On raising Lazarus from the dead:
ITINERANT PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Heirs Upset as Reading of Will Delayed

(from another news outlet)
On raising Lazarus from the dead:
SOCIAL SECURITY PAYMENTS WITHHELD
FBI Investigates Suspected Identity Theft

On the miracle at the wedding in Cana
VISITING PREACHER ACCUSED OF MOONSHINING
Police Unable to Locate Still

I know some people for whom "if it's in print, it must be true." Here's a picture of one of the all-time classic headline bloopers.

a picture of Truman with headline

In recent weeks especially, the media's handling of Sarah Palin has caused many more people to see this issue more clearly. Here at ivman's blague we like to provide a bit of balance. During World War II and beyond, Rosie the Riveter has been a cultural icon, recognizing the essential role of women in the war effort. Here's the readily recognized picture of Rosie:

picture of Rosie the Riveter

Every since John McCain's announcement and presentation of his running mate, Sarah Palin, the media's attention and intense scrutiny has been riveted on Palin. This past week someone sent me a great rework of the classic poster of Rosie to highlight a new cultural icon...

a picture of Sarah the riveter

Listen to and read very carefully the MSM's coverage of Sarah Palin. Their absolute hatred of this woman is so thinly veiled that you can see it pulsing and writhing below the surface.

Here's a great Kevin Tuma cartoon I've had in my files for a long time. It clearly shows the tenets of the "faith" of today's liberals.

cartoon about liberal faith

Do you see any of those things coming through in today's "news reporting?"

If your sole news sources are the mainstream media, I strongly suggest that you check out some other news sources to see a different angle on what you're hearing or, even more, to read news that the MSM purposely chooses not to report. The latter is very telling - it's the news you're not being allowed to hear by the MSM. Who knows what you might think if you heard it?!

Here are a few links to alternative news sources:

NewsMax.com

WorldNetDaily.com

CNSNews.com

The DrudgeReport

I'll end this post with something about which it's impossible for me personally to be unbiased - our grandson Drew. Our daughter Nora is up at Meg and Jim's all this week. Here are a couple of pictures she posted on her Facebook. As he ate some ice cream, Drew said one of his new favorite words - NICE (which he pronounces "ni").

picture of Drew with ice cream on face

picture of Drew with ice cream on face

quotation...

"Belief affects behavior, and behavior reflects belief." - Dr. M. Bruce McAllister

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Make headlines ... use a corduroy pillow.


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Lessons from Noah’s Ark


picture of Noah's ark

Most of you know that my wife and I recently visited the Creation Museum during our vacation. Quite a few people commented that they also found the museum to be a great blessing. I have never had any difficulty believing the Biblical account of the flood or of Noah's ark, and so I didn't need to be convinced of anything. But it was great to see the wonderful explanations of how the whole account could very well have taken place and the overwhelming evidence in the fossil record that is explainable only by a cataclysmic event like the world-wide flood - and so, why not the biblical world-wide flood?!

Here's a list of valuable lessons that can be learned from Noah's experience....

Lessons From Noah's Ark

Plan ahead - it wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

Stay fit - when you're 600 years old, you might be asked to do something REALLY big.

Don't listen to critics - just do what has to be done.

Build on high ground.

For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.

If you can't fight or flee - float!

Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.

Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.

When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and complain - shovel!

Stay below deck during the storm.

Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.

If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.

Remember that the woodpeckers inside are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.

Don't miss the boat.

No matter how bleak it looks, when you're one with God, there's always a rainbow waiting for you.

When God shuts the door on this world for the last time, be sure you are on the right side of that door.

Noah before God closed the door

Noah before God closed the door of the ark

quotation...

"I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture." - Jesus, in John 10:9

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Adam's Rib: the original bone of contention.


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Could Noah Build His Ark Today?


Have you ever visited the Creation Museum near Cincinnati, Ohio? This past Friday my wife and I were finally able to, and it is well worth the trip! We had heard good things from many who have visited, and our expectations were exceeded. It was really exciting to see something so well done that glorifies the Creator God of the Bible. There are so many forces at work in today's world trying to tear down faith in the Bible and the God of the Bible. It's a huge blessing to find a place whose goal is just the opposite of that. If you have never visited, we strongly recommend it.

Here's a picture of the display that showed how Noah's ark may have looked during construction.

Noah's ark under construction

Thinking about Noah's ark made me think of something I've been wanting to post.

Could Noah build his ark today?

If Noah lived in the United States today, the story may have gone something like this:

And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an ark."

God delivered the specifications for the ark. With fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the ark.

"Remember" said the Lord, "You must complete the ark and bring everything aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult.

The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard weeping.

"Noah," He said. "Where is the ark?"

"Lord, please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did not meet the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the ark needed a fire sprinkler system and flotation devices.

"Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.

"Then I had problems getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. So, no owls.

"The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or a hammer. Now I have 16 carpenters on the ark, but still no owls.

"When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard. Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.

"Then the Army Engineers demanded a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a map.

"Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard.

"The IRS has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes.

"I just got a notice from the state that I owe them some kind of user tax and failed to register the ark as a "recreational watercraft.

"Finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event and therefore unconstitutional. I really don't think I can finish the ark for another five or six years!" Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky.

Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean You are not going to destroy the earth, Lord?"

"No," said the Lord. "I don't have to. The government is already doing the destruction."

divider

My wife Becka and I are spending this week at the home of our daughter Megan, son-in-law Jim, and grandson Drew. Grandma and I took Drew for a walk this evening to a nearby park where he enjoyed swinging. Here's a picture of him clapping to show his enjoyment.

Drew enjoying a swing at the park

I'm confident we'll have more pictures to share later this week. 🙂

quotation...

"Evolution is a philosophy, not science." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?


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Jewish Perspective


It's been good to be back in classes again this week, though that may sound strange to some. 🙂 As great as Bible Conference was, there's just something nice about the regular routine too. I've been ruminating on what I heard last week as I seek to make applications to my own personal life. I just discovered that, not only could people listen to the conference messages as they streamed online, they can also listen to or download .mp3s of all the messages at http://www.bju.edu/campus/events/bibleconf/2008.html

Although all the speakers were very good, a personal favorite of mine was Craig Hartman. He's a completed Jew, that is, a Jew who has accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as his personal Savior, and hence, as Messiah. I love Craig automatically as a person because he's just himself - a man with a highly developed sense of humor and a unique style of speaking. But I love him also as a speaker because of the interesting perspective he gives as one who is totally familiar with the Jewish perspective. Here's something he told the audience at the beginning of his second message of the week, a message where he explained some of what was happening in the John 7:37-43 narrative: "If you want to understand the Bible, don't go back 300 years to Europe. Go back 2,000 years to Israel. That's where the answers are! Opinions of people 300 years ago in Europe may be interesting, they may be challenging, they may be convicting, but to be perfectly honest, in many cases they have absolutely no idea what they're talking about, because many of them had never taken a moment to look into what did the Jews think back in the days that Jesus lived." He went on to tell what the Jews did during the Feast of Tabernacles, and how that explained some of what happened in the event in John. I'd like to encourage you to listen to this message. If you'd like to learn more about Craig's ministry, go to http://shalomnyc.org

We went to Living Gallery this afternoon at 4:30. What a powerful message, and what a focus on Christ! Wow!

As I thought about the Jewish perspective, as described above, I looked in my files for something to post. Enjoy!

Yiddish Proverbs and Rules of Life (many have been attributed to Jewish grandmothers)

If you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish.

Always whisper the names of diseases.

If they give you, take; if they take from you, yell!

Charge nothing, and you'll get a lot of customers.

Don't spit into the well - you might drink from it later.

Do not worry about tomorrow, because you do not even know what may happen to you today.

You can't chew with somebody else's teeth.

If you spit upwards, you're bound to get it back in the face.

Had you gotten up early, you wouldn't have needed to stay up late.

When a fool is silent, he too is counted among the wise.

One who has the reputation of an early riser may safely lie abed 'til noon.

For dying, you always have time.

Silence is the fence around wisdom.

If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher.

No one looks good in a yarmulke.

Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?

WASP's leave and never say good-bye. Jews say good-bye and never leave.

Pork is forbidden, but a pig in a blanket makes a nice hors d'oeuvre.

If you don't eat, it will kill me.

Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.

Where there's smoke, there may be smoked salmon.

Never leave a restaurant empty-handed.

And what's so wrong with dry turkey?

Spring forward, fall back, winter in Miami Beach.

A bad matzoh ball makes a good paperweight.

Before you read the menu, read the prices.

There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand up and tell his mother he's an adult. This usually happens at around age 45.

No meal is complete without leftovers.

If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. But if you can afford it, make sure you tell everybody what you paid.

Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy?

divider

A few centuries ago, the pope decided that all the Jews had to leave Rome. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the pope won, the Jews would have to leave.

Being outnumbered, the Jews realized that they had no choice. They looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. So to represent them they finally picked an old man named Moishe who spent his life sweeping up after people. Being old and poor, he had less to lose, so he agreed. He asked only for one addition to the debate. Not being used to saying very much as he cleaned up around the settlement, he asked that neither side be allowed to talk. (A strange debate indeed! Sounds like some of our political debates - where they say so little they're really saying nothing! Enough editorializing....) Reluctantly, the pope agreed to this odd debate format, yet confident that he could win using strong symbolism through hand gestures alone.

The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger.

The pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.

Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple.

The pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good! The Jews can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the pope asking him what happened. The pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.

"He responded by holding up and waving one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe, amazed that this old, almost feeble-minded man had done what all their scholars had insisted was impossible! "What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Moishe, "first he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here."

"And then?" asked a woman.

"I don't know," said Moishe. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."

divider

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has been given a part in the school play.

"Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?"

The boy replies, "I will play the part of the Jewish husband!"

The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell your teacher that you want a speaking part!"

quotation...

"It's amazing how much time we waste that we could have spent in prayer." - Dr. Greg McLaughlin

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility gap.


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10 Little Christians


Our pastor is currently doing a series called "Church Life by the Book." Last evening and next Sunday evening he's speaking on "Our Mission" - which is about our mission in reaching people. When I ran across the following poem in my files, I knew I should post it.

10 Little Christians
- author unknown

10 little Christians standing in line,
1 disliked the preacher, then there were 9

9 little Christians stayed up very late,
1 overslept on Sunday, then there were 8

8 little Christians on their way to heaven,
1 took the low road and then there were 7

7 little Christians chirping like chicks,
1 disliked the music, then there were 6

6 little Christians seemed very much alive,
but one lost his interest then there were 5

5 little Christians heading for heaven's shore,
but one stopped to rest, then there were 4

4 little Christians each busy as a bee,
1 got his feelings hurt, then there were 3

3 little Christians knew not what to do,
1 joined the wild crowd, then there were 2

2 little Christians, our rhyme is nearly done,
differed with each other, then there was 1

1 little Christian can't do much, 'tis true,
brought his friend to Bible study - then there were 2

2 earnest Christians, each one reached one more,
That doubled the number, then there were 4

4 sincere Christians worked early and late,
Each won another, then there were 8

8 splendid Christians if they doubled as before,
In just so many Sundays, there'd be 1,024

In this little jingle, there is a lesson true,
you belong to either the building or the wrecking crew!

divider

My wife and I enjoyed visiting with our daughter Megan and little grandson Drew early this evening by webcam over Skype. What a blessing! Meg and Jim took him for pictures today at the photographer. I'm posting several shots below.

quotation...

"The biggest obstacle to our doing God's will is our own willingness." - Alan Carper

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.


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