ivman's blague rotating header image loading ... please wait....

Posts Tagged ‘cars’

The Ultimate Post-It Note Office Prank?


I received a humorous e-mail yesterday that I thought had potential as a blog post. I would hate to be the car owner ... once I was done laughing about the prank.

The Ultimate Post-It Note Office Prank?

It definitely raises the bar! Somewhere there's a very unhappy office manager with nothing left in the annual 'supplies' budget .

How would you like to walk to your car and find this?

car with Post-It notes

car with Post-It notes

car with Post-It notes

car with Post-It notes

car with Post-It notes

car with Post-It notes

car with Post-It notes

car with Post-It notes

My wife and I are certainly glad it's Friday - we're working on a special project for our church, are pretty tired, and ask for your prayers. I will be able to explain better once it's over.

Here are a couple of recent pictures of our grandson Drew....

Drew plays hard and sleeps it off

Drew plays hard and sleeps it off

house wren update...

As best as I can determine, the baby birds have died and disappeared. We had several days in a row where the daytime high temperatures were near or at 100 degrees in the last week - unseasonably high temps, to say the least. The little bird house is shaded at no time during the day at all, and I guess the little birdies just didn't survive it. 🙁

quotation...

"I serve a living God, and He can get a hold of me any time He wants." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

How many people thought of the Post-it note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?


Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

Unusual Vehicles


I've had a blog post about unusual vehicles and unusual vehicular situations simmering for a while. When we got the pictures today, I moved the post to the front burner to serve up now.

Here are some pictures of unique vehicles. For those who haven't seen what the famous smart car looks like (the car that is going to save the planet!), here's one in Germany....

a smart car in Germany

The other extreme is a stretch Hummer...

a stretch Hummer

And here's a stretch motorcycle...

a stretch motorcycle

Here's what seems like the perfect car for most politicians...

politicians can now go both ways behind the wheel

Here's a great vehicle for seniors in retirement communities...

perfect vehicle for seniors

Now for some creative uses of vehicles....

You don't need a truck to haul big loads...

you too can haul loads

Many are opting for motorcycles since gas prices are so high. Try to find the third passenger below...

try to find the small child

It's a shame to see passenger space wasted as it is in the picture below (empty seat at the end of the yellow arrow)...

wasted passenger space

Some wealthy people still opt for large cars with chauffeurs. I strongly suspect that this picture has been Photoshopped....

surely this is Photoshopped

If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers...

Automotive companies don't have help lines for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers. But what if they did?

HelpLine: "Automotive HelpLine, how can I help you?"

Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened"

HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"

Customer: "What's an ignition?"

HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."

Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?"

divider

HelpLine: "Automotive HelpLine, how can I help you?"

Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere"

HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?"

Customer: "Huh? How do I know?"

HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"

Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"

HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you."

Customer: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

divider

HelpLine: "Automotive HelpLine, how can I help you?"

Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes and power door locks."

HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"

Customer: "How do I work it?"

HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"

Customer: "Do I know how to what?"

HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"

Customer: "I'm not a technical person, I just want to go places in my car!"

divider

I thought of what I posted today when we got some cute pictures today by e-mail. Our daughter Megan and son-in-law Jim have been looking for a pick-up truck for our grandson Drew for a while. They were able to get one for a good price on e-Bay. Here's a picture of our little trucker...

Drew in his pick-up truck

quotation...

"Revival is obedience." - Dr. Les Olila

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Q: What goes clip, clop, clip, clop **bang-bang** clip, clop, clip, clop?
A: An Amish drive-by shooting.


Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

Classical Gas?


Because of my general fatigue and busy-ness, I'm going to "cop out" and post a mainly pictorial iv. I've received three different e-mails lately about gasoline, a subject on the minds of many right now. This post is a look at the issue from several angles....

It's not news that gasoline prices have gone up dramatically and are not likely to return to levels we'd like. Here's a sobering reality...

gas price compared to Coke price

At least the prices aren't yet as high as the sign below!

sky high gas prices

It's often good to laugh at things that could otherwise make you weep. Here a few funny things about gas prices....

you would cry if you did not laugh

you would cry if you did not laugh

One e-mail I received showed things that people may end up doing to cope with high gas prices. Here are some of those....

coping with high gas prices

coping with high gas prices

coping with high gas prices

coping with high gas prices

coping with high gas prices

Another e-mail was a nostalgic look at old time service stations.

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

old timey gas station

Ah, gone are the days....

I was able to complete my semester grades before leaving my office yesterday. Phew! Graduation is this Saturday morning. It's always a joy and a sorrow to see my former students graduate - a joy because they're moving on to what they've been preparing for and a sorrow because I hate to see the departure of people I've grown to love.

The picture I posted Monday afternoon was the last picture of this nest of chickadees. When I got home Tuesday afternoon, I saw that the bird house was empy and the old nest had been cleaned out and was all over the red raspberry bushes under the bird house.

Chickadee nest remains on raspberries below

The bird house had four sticks in it, and we saw house wrens coming and going from the bird house that evening. Below is a picture of the results of their work in the past two days of nest building...

house wren nest started

More updates as the process continues....

quotation...

"Every one of us is passionate about something." - John Daulton

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.


Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

7,000 Words


Two weeks of classes, then exam week. We're all in need of prayer right now, students and teachers alike.

I have received or spotted several funny pictures or comic strips lately that I thought I'd put together as a blog post with few words. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this post is worth 7,000 words.

For some of you old-timers who remember the old black and white TV series with Jackie Gleason called "The Honeymooners"....

(For the sake of you "young things"... Ralph Kramden always said to his wife Alice, "One of these days ... one of these days ... POW, right in the kisser! Bang, zoom, straight to the moon!")

In case you cannot read the note above, it says, "Please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished. Some of us have O.C.D. and leftover time drives us crazy. Thanks!"

Here's a comic strip in honor of April 15 - the Ides of April....

How can fellow employees ever compete with the "Employee of the Month" pictured below?

Here's a clever ad....

Is it a bug or a feature?

Someone spotted a scene too good not to capture on camera....

quotation...

"Discontent is the penalty we must pay for being ungrateful for what we have." - unknown

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Hunt for the good points in other people. Remember, they have to do the same in your case.


Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

Yer Not from Here…


our accident... (a little long, but worth the read)

Our son-in-law Jim had to leave Greenville Sunday to get back to Detroit for work on Monday, but Megan and Drew stayed with us for a couple of extra days to visit since Becka and I were able to drive them back home this week. We left Tuesday morning and drove as far as Lexington, KY, where I'd made hotel reservations. Wednesday we drove the rest of the way up to Detroit, with a short stop at my mom's house so she could see how much little Drew has grown.

We arrived back at Jim and Megan's house, unpacked, got settled, and cleaned up a little bit. Then we headed to Rackham golf course to watch the fireworks. The fireworks were absolutely fabulous! We were a little concerned about Drew as to whether he would be afraid of all the noise, especially since he was beginning to be a little fussy right before the display began. We were astonished to see, not only that he stopped being fussy, but also that he was fascinated with the fireworks. He watched them with rapt attention throughout the entire half hour display! He is really noticing things, some of which keep his attention for quite a while. Below is a picture of Drew looking intently at something....

Drew looking intently

Below is a picture of what he's watching....

Drew's mobile

The mobile plays the Michigan fight song - train up a child in the way he should go....

After the fireworks ended, we headed for home. On the way, we had a second set of fireworks - a divine appointment with an object in the road. As I drove along I-696 at 70 m.p.h. in heavy traffic at 11:00 p.m., I spotted something in the lane ahead of me. With cars on both sides and with little lead time to react, I hit what I later learned was something made of concrete. We heard and felt a loud boom under the car. I looked at my rearview mirror and from the light of the headlights in cars behind me, I saw what looked like smoke spewing from the back of our car. Megan and the baby were in the back seat. She said right away, "Dad, I smell gasoline." I changed lanes and pulled off ASAP! I said, "Megan, get Drew, and we'll all run. This car may ignite!" We ran up the embankment and away from the car. I called 911 right away and reported what had happened, stressing to them especially that we were all fine with no injuries.

Fairly soon a fire truck, an ambulance, and a police car arrived. They took Becka, Megan, and Drew right away to the ambulance to wait while I talked with all the emergency personnel. Since the car had not started to burn yet, it was unlikely that it would. So a fireman looked under it briefly to see what was wrong. He could tell that things were hanging down, the gas tank was punctured, and transmission fluid was leaking out. He called a wrecker to come tow the car. The police told me that ours was one of a string of cars that had hit that concrete in the road since they'd seen others pulled off the road on his way to get to us. They don't know exactly what it was or where it came from, but other policemen communicated that they had been able to pull it off to the shoulder of the road. The officer said I was in no way at fault in the "accident" - I'll explain why the quotation marks later.

Jim was still at work at Rackham when the rest of us left the fireworks, but when he got Meg's call, he came ASAP to help rescue us. He took the other three home, while I rode in the wrecker to the car shop where Jim has his repairs done. Jim met me there after dropping the others off.

This morning I took my car keys to the service station after Jim called to explain why the car was there. When I got there the man in charge said that he had looked under the car in the meantime and said that the damage was pretty extensive. I appreciated his honesty when he told me I really needed to take it to a Ford dealership to have the work done. He said, "You're very fortunate that the car didn't ignite from what I could see under there!" I had heard the same thing several times last night from emergency workers. We all thought of that family whose van burst into flame after they hit something in the road.

Earlier in this blog post I referred to our adventure as an "accident" - that's what we people normally call such incidents. But the Lord was unquestionably in control, and we have so many things to thank Him for! He allowed me to drive the car off the road safely, and He kept it from igniting and exploding. This happened within a few miles from Megan and Jim's house rather than anywhere along the 700 mile stretch we had just traveled. We could go on and on enumerating how gracious the Lord has been to us in all of this. I've been able to share His goodness with people I would never have met otherwise, and with anyone who reads this online.

We're hoping and praying that the insurance adjuster will be able to look at the car early on Friday. If not, nothing else will begin to happen until next week. Not that we're complaining about having to spend more time with our family here! 😎 But we really do have responsibilities back home that are awaiting us and loved ones there to be with too. Plus it will be nice to know if the car is totalled or not so that we know what step to take next. We trust the One who has superintended thus far, knowing He will expedite all these details in His good timing. He is totally worthy of our trust!!! We would appreciate your prayers in our behalf.

One of the things we have been looking forward to during our time in the Detroit area this week is to attend the 25th reunion of one of the classes for whom I was class sponsor when I taught high school up here way back in the last millenium. We're looking forward to seeing many of the class members who will be there, to meeting their spouses, and to seeing several former colleagues who will be in attendance on Friday evening. I'll have to update you on this in my next blog post. I'm sure you can expect something about aging - these "kids" are now about 42 or 43 years old! They're 12 or 13 years older than I was when I was their class sponsor. Yikes!

I was looking through my files to find something appropriate for our current situation. We have commented several times today how nice the firemen, EMT personnel, and policemen were last night, the 4th of July - a night when there was probably already much going on that demanded their attention. They were so kind and helpful! The story below is funny, and we hope it won't be our experience as this latest saga in our lives continues to unfold.

Yer not from here, are ya?

The owner of an old-fashioned corner grocery store in a small country town was fond of quoting a Scripture verse after each sale. He had three old friends that would sit around a pot-bellied stove, playing checkers on a faded board. His ability to produce a Scripture verse for all occasions never ceased to amuse the old timers, and they would listen to see what verse he would come up with relevant to the sale made.

A lady purchased some material and he said, "She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands."

When a man bought a sack of flour, he said, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God."

A little child came in and bought some candy and he said, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."

It was nearly closing time when the chimes over the door jangled loudly. A well dressed young man entered, obviously a stranger from one of the larger towns down the road. "Help you?" offered the proprietor.

"I need a blanket for my horse," said the man. "He's out in his trailer, and it's too cold for him without a blanket. Bring me the nicest one you've got!"

The store owner went in the back store room and came back with a brown blanket. "That'll be five dollars."

"Five dollars? You've got to be kidding!' said the man. "This horse is a thoroughbred. He gets only the best! He wouldn't stand still for an old five dollar blanket."

Without comment, the store owner took back the blanket, then merely selected a different color and brought it out. "This one's $25 dollars."

"Now, look," said the young man. "Perhaps I didn't make myself plain. This isn't just any old horse! He's worth thousands! Now I want the best, most expensive blanket you've got! Comprende?"

The owner once more went into the store room, pulled out another color of the same material and brought it back. "This is the only one left, and it's $100."

"Now that's more like it!" exclaimed the man enthusiastically as he paid. Throwing the five dollar blanket over his shoulder, he left.

The old timers stared silently at the shopkeeper as they waited to see what possible Scripture he could come up with for that sale!

Going behind the register, he rang up the hundred dollars and said, "I was a stranger and you took me in."

quotation...

(This rings especially true to us!)
"Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't." - Richard Bach

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

A woman who is in assisted living with my mother said something to us the other day that I thought I'd share with you....

"Europe is a nice place to visit, but I sure wouldn't want to have to dust it!" - Joan


Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

Page 2 of 3123