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Posts Tagged ‘coffee’

Coffee Humor

On our trip out west earlier this summer, of course I was on the lookout for funny signs. Though not technically a sign, one that I spotted in Williams, AZ, was humorous to me as a French prof and barista since the French word for coffee is café.

Coffee and Cafe

I didn't go inside to see how they distinguished their coffee from their café, but I'm guessing that my inquiring about it probably would not have made sense to them. But honestly, the more I think about the name of the place, the odder it gets.

Yesterday morning my Keurig Mini Plus B31, which had been behaving strangely for several days, decided not to work at all. I was ready to look for a replacement until our neighbor Mary suggested I call Keurig. The woman on the phone was very nice and talked me through several steps. She finally declared my beyond-warranty Keurig defective, but she offered me a discount on a replacement. I told her I would think about it.

I remembered reading online about descaling a Keurig with white vinegar. That, after doing the Keurig rep's maneuvers with the paper clip to clean out the needles, had my little coffee maker up and running again!

I decided that maybe some coffee humor might be in order. Here are some random pictures I have been sent or pointed to, since my readers know my love for coffee. 🙂

Coffee Machine Broken
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Are You into Designer Coffees?

picture of fancy coffee drinks

Anyone who knows me well knows that I enjoy a good cup of coffee, especially when shared with others. Several weeks ago my son Mark and I went out for a cuppa at Leopard Forest in beautiful downtown T.R. (Travelers Rest, for those of you not familiar with the Greenville area.) We both got a Snow Leopard, their most popular beverage blended with white chocolate, caramel, and macadamia nut. I'm sure it contained some coffee too. It was delicious, but I also realize that some fancy coffee drinks have the same caloric content as an entire meal! I figure the occasional splurge like that probably won't kill me. Actually, I most often drink my coffee black, enjoying the taste of the coffee itself without the calories and fat grams that I don't really need.

Since I normally order black coffee, I even have a hard time remembering what the difference is between a latte and a cappucino and feel like a dolt when I have to ask. I found the following picture online of the make up of various coffee drinks. I should print it out and review it for those little splurges several times a year.

picture of coffee drinks

Someone with a commercial site was kind enough to let me know that the link to the picture above was broken. I've now fixed the link, but to thank her for alerting me to the broken link, I am giving the link she provided to a similar image on her site. Thanks, Abigail!

I was surprised, though, when I stumbled across an even more detailed chart of coffee drinks. Click on the image below if you want to see a larger version of it.
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How to Know You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee

picture of coffee poster

Do you like coffee? My parents and grandparents all drank coffee, and as a child, I thought I never would myself. However in college when I had to get up at 4:00 to work in the campus bakery four mornings a week, I found that a cup of coffee helped me be more alert on some of those mornings. Our boss would let us add sugar and cream only after taking one sip without them. I actually grew to like the taste of coffee with no amendments at all. My wife does not enjoy hot coffee, but she likes cold coffee drinks and coffee flavored ice cream ranks high on her list.

This past week we stayed with our daughter and son-in-law in Michigan. Each morning my grandson Drew and I took a walk to various destinations. Two of the mornings we walked to a Tim Hortons that's less than a mile from Megan and Jim's house. Here's a picture of Drew eating a chocolate timbit and of Poppy's steaming cup of brew.

picture of Drew at Tim Hortons

I used to drink only regular coffee, and lots of it, but in recent years if I have to be careful not to get too much caffeine. After enduring a racing heart and shaky hands, I quickly learned to limit my intake. Caffeine after about 3:00 in the afternoon keeps me awake during the night. It's a bummer, but those are the most common signs for me that I've drunk too much coffee. Here's a cartoon I saw recently that makes me smile.

picture of views of an all-nighter

In my files I found a list of other ways people can know they drink too much coffee.

You know you're drinking too much coffee when...

...Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.

...you can ski uphill.

...you get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
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Coffee Shop Economics

At this time of year, Americans have either already done their income taxes or still have about a month and a half to put it off. On top of that, we just heard today about the president's proposed new budget with tax increases for the nation's most wealthy. (We all will have to wait breathlessly to see if there's any chance it can go through.) This all made me think of something that's been aging in my files for the right moment to be posted....

picture of latte

Coffee Shop Economics

Suppose that every weekday ten men go out for lattes. The coffee shop is the best one around and their beverages are not cheap. Each day the total bill for the ten men comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

- The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
- The fifth would pay $1.
- The sixth would pay $3.
- The seventh would pay $7.
- The eighth would pay $12.
- The ninth would pay $18.
- The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59, enjoying the latte and his friends.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men had lattes every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily coffees by $20."

Lattes for the ten now cost just $80. They could continue to enjoy their lattes and their time together, but for a lot less!

The group still wanted to continue to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes, so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink coffee for free.

But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share?"

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his coffee.

So, to be fair, the owner suggested reducing each of the six men's bills by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:
- The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
- The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
- The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
- The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
- The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
- The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink coffee for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I got only one dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, "but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right!" exclaimed the fifth man. "I saved only one dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute!" yelled the first four men in unison, "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth man and beat him up.

The next night, as much as he had previously been enjoying coffee with the guys, the tenth man didn't show up for coffee. So the nine sat down and had their lattes without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them to pay even half of the tab! Too late, though, since their wealthy friend had no plans to return.

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction, all the while still getting stuck for most of the tax revenues. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might go to other coffee shops where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier and less demanding and where they can drink a latte for the same price everyone else pays and possibly with nicer friends.

(Added 5 March 2009: I just learned that the original idea for the scenario above came from David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D., Professor of Economics, University of Georgia. The original that I received was unattributed and I could not find the source. I changed it quite a bit, turning it into a coffee shop instead of a bar, but I'd like to give credit where credit is due. I was really surprised to find that Muddy Dog Roasting Co. had done almost the same thing with the piece back in October 2008! Great minds....)


What are your thoughts on the Coffee Shop Economics story above? Do you think it's valid? There's an interesting article about this type of thing called The 2% Illusion in the Opinion Journal of today's Wall Street Journal.

This week has been extremely full, but definitely good. Our church, Hampton Park Baptist Church, has been hosting the Steve Pettit Evangelistic Team all week. The messages have been excellent and the music outstanding. Anyone local who would like to attend Friday evening's Irish Sacred Concert, the meeting begins at 7:00. Come a few minutes early to get settled into a seat before it starts.


"Every person born since Adam's sin is not God-centered, but self-centered." - Steve Pettit

=^..^= =^..^=

The IRS looks at every taxpayer as having what it takes.

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Are You a Motivator or a Demotivator?

A few weeks ago I did a post about motivation that generated some good discussion. People shared what has motivated them and what they've done to motivate others.

A number of people have told me how much enjoyed the posters in that blog post. Just recently I have learned about a tool at despair.com that allows you to upload a picture and give it a title and motivational text of your own. Here are some that I generated myself, using pictures I had in my files and their online utility:

picture of one of my posters

picture of one of my posters

picture of one of my posters

picture of one of my posters

picture of one of my posters

Here's one I made by combining a picture I found somewhere online with a t-shirt slogan that a reader added in a comment to a blog post of mine back in July:

picture of one of my posters

Before I give the link to this online utility, though, I'd like to caution my readers to use it with great discretion. It would be extremely easy to be a source of huge discouragement to someone by thoughtlessly wedding image and text that could really hurt someone, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Words are very powerful things. The Bible tells us, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue…. (Proverbs 18:21) Quite literally through our words we can cause others to want to live life to the fullest or even to want to die. That's a sobering concept for someone like me whose life is filled with the dispensing of words - in the classroom, in personal interactions, and on this blog.

With that said, I'll now give you the link – http://diy.despair.com/motivator.php

Here's a fun one that I did with a picture of Grandma and me with our grandson Drew:

picture of one of my posters

He turned 18 months old on Tuesday of this week, and we really do miss him a lot. We have a rendez-vous planned with Meg, Jim, and Drew in Cincinnati one weekend this fall, and we can't wait to see their whole family! Our daughter Nora will be flying up this weekend to spend the next week with them to help Megan celebrate her 30th birthday on September 17. If you'd like to send Megan birthday greetings and/or bits of wisdom as she reaches this milestone (millstone?), you may do it through the comments on this post.

Congratulations to a large number of my readers who correctly solved Einstein's puzzle! His assertion that only 2% of people could solve was made without knowing the caliber of readers of ivman's blague! You all have far exceeded his figures! Bravo!


"Proverbs presents godliness in working clothes." - unknown

=^..^= =^..^=

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.

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