ivman's blague rotating header image loading ... please wait....

Posts Tagged ‘disclaimers’

Please Follow the Destructions!

We live in such strange times! There are many people looking for any possible reason to sue someone, even for problems caused by their own idiocy. In hopes of having some legal straw to grasp in the event of a potential lawsuit, many manufacturers now put the weirdest directions and disclaimers on their products. Today's instant vacation is a list of some of those disclaimers on products. Be sure you read this in a place where you can occasionally laugh out loud.

Absurd product warnings and instructions

On a cardboard windshield sun shade:
Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.

On a blanket from Taiwan:
Not to be used as protection from a tornado.

On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you.

On a Taiwanese shampoo:
Use repeatedly for severe damage.

On the bottle-top of a flavored milk drink in the UK:
After opening, keep upright.

On a New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.

In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles:
Open other end.

On an infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.

On a package of Fisherman's Friend(R) throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

On a disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.

On a handgun:
Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.

On a piano:
Harmful or fatal if swallowed.

On work gloves:
For best results, do not leave at crime scene.

On a blender:
Not for use as an aquarium.

On a microscope:
Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.

On children's alphabet blocks:
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

On a wet suit:
Capacity, 1.

On the Washington Post:
Do not cut up and use for blackmail note.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

Once you've read the instructions on a box of Pepperidge Farm frozen raspberry turnovers, it's too late to obey them:
Preheat oven to 475 degrees F before taking package from the freezer.

For incorrigible narcissists, Conair offers this safety tip with its blow dryers:
Never use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

Some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding:
Product will be hot after heating

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body

On Boots children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery after taking this medication

On Nytol (a sleep aid):
May cause drowsiness

On an American Airlines packet Of nuts:
Open packet, eat nuts.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Keep out of children

On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Contains nuts

On a bottle of Palmolive dish washing liquid:
Do not use on food.

On a tube of Crest Toothpaste:
If swallowed contact poison control.

On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

On a packet Of Sunmaid raisins:
Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Here are a few warning signs along the same vein.

use your own brain

self defense against the fence

feeding the animals with fingers

wired to work out

beware of killer frogs

moose crossing

nuts may contain nuts

be prepared

beware of lady

Have you seen any bizarre disclaimers or instructions lately? Please tell us about it in a comment.


"Truth causes us to cut between tradition and trends." - Dr. Chris Barney

=^..^= =^..^=

No electrons were harmed in the creation of this blog post, although some were undoubtedly inconvenienced.

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook