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Posts Tagged ‘doctors’

Can Dentistry Be Humorous?


Becka is in the process of getting a crown on one of her teeth that broke recently. Since she's feeling a little down in the mouth, I thought she might enjoy being able to laugh at some things dental, if that is even possible, let alone appropriate at such a time as this. 😀

Anyway, fools rush in....

A man who dreads going to the dentist decided to ease his tension by listing his name as "The Wimp." The receptionist read it, laughed, and assured him that many patients felt the same way. Half an hour later, the receptionist came into the waiting room. Looking directly at him, she said, smiling, "The doctor will now see the wimp." Three other people got up with him.

Fiddler Roof Dentist
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Doctor, Doctor!


picture of doctor with needle

Surgery was postponed. The first doctor who read the MRI thought Nora needed surgery. This morning the spine doctor wanted to try treating it with a steroid epidural and very strong pain meds first to give the ruptured disc the opportunity to heal on its own. She had the treatment this morning and is now resting. She may need to go back Monday for another treatment if this one was not enough. She was somewhat disappointed because she wanted the pain to be gone right away, but we are taking this step as from the Lord and praying that it might be enough without the surgery. Thanks so much for all your prayers and well wishes!

Today's post is a series of "doctor, doctor...." jokes.

Doctor, doctor, there's a lettuce leaf growing out my ear.
Hmmmm, I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Doctor, doctor, I have a strawberry growing out of my head.
Don't worry. I'll give you some cream to put on it.

Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing the "Green, Green Grass of Home."
Sounds like you have Tom Jones syndrome.
Is it common?
It's not unusual.
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What Doctors Think of the Bailout Plan


picture of doctor withstethoscope

As I try to look ahead to some of the potentially interesting issues in this new year, the unfolding of the economic bailout promises to appear frequently in the news. For someone who is "economically challenged" like me (read: not terribly savvy when it comes to most things economics related), it's all a bit confusing. There are all kinds of so-called experts whose opinions are extremely divergent concerning the bailout plan.

I read something interesting recently that I thought would make a good blog post, with a bit of tweaking. It's how America's doctors view Washington D.C.'s Bailout Plan.

Doctors' Opinions of Financial Bailout Plan

The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The physiotherapists thought we're all being manipulated. The orthopedists issued a joint resolution.

The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling that it was not something they could stomach. The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

The ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted; the audiologists wouldn't hear of it; the pathologists said, "Over my dead body!" while the pediatricians advised, "Oh, grow up!"

The psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness; the radiologists could see right through it; and the surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The microsurgeons were thinking along the same vein.

The internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow; and the plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter." The podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas; and the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say much of anything.

In the end, the proctologists, concerned that we're already in arrears, wanted a probing analysis.

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Even though what you've just read is a tangle of puns, I'm sure that doctors and nurses may actually have some strong opinions about the most recent attempts of the government to take over various sectors of our nation's economy. Nationalized health care seems to be looming on a horizon that seems less distant than in previous years. Time will tell. What are your thoughts?

quotation...

"The zenith of God's sovereignty is that man, acting in his own self-interest, still accomplishes God's plan." - Dr. Chris Barney

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

An apple a day keeps the doctor from having to remind us that he has not made a house call since 1966.


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Patients’ Charts


It's good to laugh, especially at times to laugh about what you're currently dealing with. I thought I good dose of medical humor might be in order. Today I'm posting a list of notes that doctors have supposedly written on patients' charts. It appears that the physician's handwriting may not have always been the issue here....

Doctors' notes on patients' charts...

The patient complains of a dry cough that hurts when he coughs and also when he takes deep breaths for 4 days.

The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

Patient arrived by avalanche.

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared completely.

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

The patient is disabled with a wife from Portsmouth.

The patient refused an autopsy.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a forty pound weight gain in the past three days.

She is numb from her toes down.

The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. ___ to dispose of him.

The skin was moist and dry.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

He had a left-toe amputation one month ago. He also had a left-knee amputation last year.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ___, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The other foot has the missing toe.

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Because of an outbreak of whooping cough among the university students, our semester has been shortened by one week. That means that final exams are now this week instead of next. There are fewer students with whooping cough than the rumors would indicate, but the situation is a serious matter. The medical personnel are isolating those who have one or two of the symptoms and are administering a 5-day antibiotic. Many are also receiving vaccinations. Becka and I are glad that when we went for our tetanus booster a month or so ago, they gave us each a DPT immunization, the P of which stands for pertussis. Please pray for us all as we navigate through this stressful week. Pray for those overreacting and underreacting, that wisdom would prevail. 🙂

quotation...

"If it doesn't look like Christ, can it claim to be Christianity?" - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are NOT a hypochondriac.


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