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Posts Tagged ‘dogs’

Dog Owner Look Alikes


picture of lookalikes

My last post highlighted some bizarre things from the newpaper. The picture on the right could have gone in that post, but it seemed like the perfect way to start off today's post. Which one is the dog and which one is the owner in that picture?! Have you ever noticed how much dogs and their owners resemble each other? It's as amazing as it is amusing.

One of my long-time readers asked about some pictures that used to be in my funny pictures archive, no longer necessary with the blog. I'll post them today so that they become part of the blog archives. I'll look through that folder to see what else I need to put on the blog soon. 🙂

Here are six sets of pictures that do a better job than the newspaper article above did.

#1 picture of dog-owner lookalikes

Click here to continue reading this post ⇒


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Dog and Cat Haiku


picture of dog and fan

Do you enjoy the "dog days" of summer? Dogs have been on our minds for reasons other than the dog days of summer. We dog-sat for our daughter Nora while she visited our daughter Megan and her family in Detroit last week. Becka and I have been "cat people" for so long that we'd forgotten how much more work dogs are than cats. And puppies (like Nora's Kingston) require lots of attention and have boundless energy!

Since the new school year is on the verge of beginning, I decided to post something a tad more literary than usual. I'm far from being an expert on the Japanese poetry called haiku. I'm sure the haiku I'm posting today (not my own composition) is probably not the finest ever written, but at least the number of syllables per line follows the standard formula of 5-7-5.

Here's some dog haiku for your amusement:

Dog Haiku

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy — come to kill all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend — come to kill all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man — come to kill all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat — come to kill all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I hate my choke chain —
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!!

Dig under fence — why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more — I call
Them a vocation.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I
Have made a puddle

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

My wife commented recently that I hadn't posted any cat humor lately. So to balance out the dog haiku, here's some cat haiku.

Cat Haiku

Grace personified,
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner.

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

Blur of motion, then —
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper"?

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
Inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! The Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams.
Claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

The Big Ones snore now.
Every room is dark and cold.
Time for "Cup Hockey."

Several people have asked about what the symbols =^..^= =^..^= at the beginning of my signature line in each blog post stand for. It's our two cats — Adelaide and Clementine — each pictured by whiskers, ear, two eyes, ear, and whiskers.

This evening I downloaded a piano CD from mincymedia.com called A Place of Quiet Rest. Dave Mincy is offering all 11 tracks of the CD for free at least till the end of this week. I'm listening to it on my iPod, even as I type, and its quiet beauty is ministering to my heart.

Do you enjoy the dog days of summer? Any thoughts on the superiority of dogs or cats? 🙂

quotation...

"We're all going to be sifted, and Satan would love to discourage us." - Dr. Chris Barney

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

A dog will come when you call, but a cat will take a message and never get back to you.


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Are We in for the Ride of Our Lives?


I got a wonderful story by e-mail this weekend that I simply had to share on my blog. Here it is:

A woman told her neighbor that she had seen a man driving a pick-up truck down the interstate and that a dog was hanging onto the tail gate for dear life!

She said if the pick-up truck driver hadn't been going so fast in the other direction, she would have tried to stop him.

A few weeks later, her neighbor saw that same truck in the parking lot at the Bass Pro Shop and took a picture of it.

picture of dog on truck

The driver of the pick-up truck is a local taxidermist, with a great sense of humor!

And that "dog" is actually a coyote named Kyle! I learned that when I did a web search and found the website of the taxidermist.

divider

As the world economy and our national economy are struggling, largely because of debt (ie. people spending money they don't have) and as our government votes on a spending bill of close to a trillion dollars we don't have, I think we all need to hold on for the ride of our lives. The Lord keeps sending us these reminders that our hope is not in people, but in Him.

quotation...

"There aren't any big shots when it comes to servants of God. If you want to be in the limelight to serve, it's not service you're thinking about – it's recognition." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin." - Mark Twain


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News Flash from the North Pole


picture of Bubba Claus

(The following is a note from Santa Claus.)

Dear y'all,

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.

Differences that have been noted:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC Cola, pork rinds, and a MoonPie on the mantle.

picture of a Bubba Claus dog

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen" when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh has a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

9. Fun Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" and "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer." This year, songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. These song titles will be "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox" and "Grandma Got Run'd Over by a Reindeer."

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus

divider

As I did my exhausting research for this post, I was surprised that is Bubba Claus almost as famous as his flannel shirttail cousin Santa Claus, with all sorts of Bubba Claus items out there. I found a Bubba Claus knife by Schrade, Bubba Claus albums and CD's, and even a Bubba Claus quilt.

This post seems to be the perfect opportunity to share pictures of an incredible redneck Christmas tree sent to me by several people.

picture of redneck Christmas tree

picture of redneck Christmas tree

picture of redneck Christmas tree

picture of redneck Christmas tree

picture of redneck Christmas tree

And now the most amazing part - how beautiful a bunch of Mountain Dew cans can look...

picture of redneck Christmas tree

This will be my only blog post this week. Next week I'll post on Monday evening again with some fresh family pictures since our whole little family will be together here for a few days. In the meantime, here's a picture of our grandson Drew whose mom helped him make his first snow angel in the heavy snow they got a few days ago.

picture of Drew making a snow angel

Wherever your Christmas celebration is on the scale from redneck to elegant, may it be joyous! Here's a final greeting from Bubba Claus and his dawgs who will be visiting our (red)neck of the woods.

picture of Bubba Claus and his dawgs

quotation...

"God goes after the ones religious people think are unlikely and saves them." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Snowflakes are one of the most fragile things in nature, but just look at what they can do when they stick together.


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What Can You Learn from a Dog?


picture of Paisley under a chair

Our family seems to be growing lately by going to the dogs! In a comment I added to one of my recent blog posts called great cat quotations I mentioned that even though our kids grew up with cats, all three of them are dog people now. They don't dislike cats, but they've chosen to own dogs instead. The puppy in the picture on the right is our latest "grand-pup" - Paisley. Our daughter Nora bought her when she moved into her own apartment last week. Paisley is a Weimaraner that's about 7 weeks old. That makes our fourth grand-pup. Megan and Jim have a dog who's a mix of terrier and sneaky neighborhood dog, and Mark and Katie have two dogs, both of mixed heritage, that they got from the Greenville Humane Society.

I'm so used to cats now after so many years of having cats that I have a hard time understanding what dogs are trying to communicate to me. Here's a Far Side® cartoon I can really relate to…

comic of dog decoder

If you too wonder what dogs are trying to tell us…

Things we can learn from a dog

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps, and then stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want is buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, prance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Instead run right back and make friends.

If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.

Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.

When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged shamefully out from under the bed).

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

divider

Have you dog owners learned any lessons from your dog?

Here's a parting shot of Paisley in her crate…

picture of Paisley in her crate

quotation...

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." - Dave Barry

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

So if it's a dog's life you're leading or if you're working like a dog, learn some of the lessons above – take a moment, take a breath, and just enjoy being alive. SMILE! (without sticking your tongue out, of course!) 😛


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