ivman's blague

Although it’s already July 15 in France at the time I’m posting this in the USA, the French spent the 14th celebrating Bastille Day. It was fun to hear from several of my students today who wanted to wish me a Happy Bastille Day. My wife and I have actually been in France several times on the 14th of July and have seen the parade in Paris, jets overhead trailing blue, white, and red smoke, and in the evening fireworks in the distance. If they’re anything, the French are creative in their celebrations!

In honor of the day, I’m posting something vaguely reminiscent of French. Do you ever feel as if you’ve heard the expression déjà vu before? It’s the illusion of having previously experienced a situation that is happening now.

For you francophones out there, if you feel as if you’ve read the following before, that would be déjà lu.

When I feel as if I’ve…

…milked this cow before - déjà moo

…seen this strange animal before - déjà gnu

…smelled this bad odor before - déjà phew

…visited this menagerie before - déjà zoo

…scared this person away before - déjà … BOO!

…read this mystery book before - déjà clue

…been in this courtroom before - déjà sue

…felt this bad before - déjà rue

…felt this sad before - déjà blue

…expanded this way before - déjà grew

…seen this slime before - déjà goo

…learned this stuff before - déjà knew

…waited in line before - déjà queue

…eaten this dinner before - déjà stew

…pursued this person before - déjà woo

…had this feeling of déjà vu before - déjà too

…seen these twins before - déjà two

…been on this airplane before - déjà flew

…came up with this innovation before - déjà new

…fed these pigeons before - déjà coo

…sketched this portrait before - déjà drew

…been in this Starbucks before - déjà brew

…ended this relationship before - déjà through

…felt this ill before - déjà flu

…sheared this sheep before - déjà ewe

…munched on this gum ball before - déjà chew

…lost its match under the same bed before - déjà shoe

…exposed the real facts before - déjà true

…sat through this sermon before - déjà pew

…played in this wet grass before - déjà dew

…admired this scenery before - déjà ooooo…

…forgotten this person’s name before - déjà who?

Do any of you have an actual déjà vu experience you’d like to share?

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I’ve put up a new poll in the sidebar about my blog itself.

quotation…

“Hope attaches itself to the future and is the certainty of what will be.” - Dr. Drew Conley

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Rob

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Tags: France, holidays, language, puns

today’s instant vacation…

My wife and I have long since gotten over the initial sting of when we first started being offered seniors discounts. What bothered me when I was offered a discount for the first time, I wasn’t yet old enough to be eligible! (So what does that tell you?!) Now we actually ask if we’re eligible! Quite the reversal, huh? Today’s iv is a couple of my favorite bits of senior humor.

The 84-Year-Old Bride

A local news station was interviewing an 84-year-old woman because she had just gotten married for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 84, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” thought the newsman. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she first married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40s, later on a preacher when in her 60s, and now, in her 80s, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

“That’s easy, son,” she smiled. “I married one for the money, … two for the show, … three to get ready, … and four to go!”

***
This is Rob again. We actually learned recently that a long-time friend, a widower, will be getting married in August. This octagenarian met his wife-to-be on eHarmony.com! Neither of them is living in what are typically thought of as places where retirees choose to live, where these senior romances seem to abound. Here’s the second bit of senior humor:

In Florida and Arizona (where retirees abound), the personal ads have become rather long-in-the-tooth. Here is a sampling:

FOXY LADY: Fashion-conscious, blue-haired beauty, slim, 5′ 4″ (used to be 5′ 6″), searching for sharp-looking, smart-dressing man. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out, and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob, and caramel candy.

GROOVY: I still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my boss collection of eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Doesn’t run, but walks well.

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Our latest reminder of being seniors was yesterday at the World of Coca Cola in Atlanta, where 55+ is considered “senior.” My wife and I spent the day in Atlanta yesterday to see friends who were visiting from France. They lived in Greenville in the mid 1990s and we got to know them well. The last time we were in France with a team of students in 2001, these friends came to see us one weekend in Rouen. We had a wonderful time together, renewing our ties with them. A new Atlanta experience for us, in addition to being in Atlanta in the summer and having the temps be in the mid 80s with low humidity, was getting all over the place on MARTA. It got us very close to everywhere we wanted to go - including to a bus stop right across the street from one of our Atlanta favorites the Dekalb Farmers Market. The MARTA workers were extremely friendly and helpful - several even spoke French to us! What more could you want for an eight dollar, all-day pass?

Back to the World of Coca Cola for a second…. The new museum has some neat new features, but we still prefer the old Coke Museum. Do any of you who have visited both the old Coke museum and this new one share our opinion?

quotation…

“Bad people don’t become good people by rules.” - J. D. Crowley

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Rob

Senior pick-up line… A well dressed gentleman in his mid-eighties enters a local diner. When he spots an immaculately groomed lady in her mid-seventies seated at the lunch counter, he goes directly to the counter and sits down on the stool beside her. He looks at her slyly and says, “Say, do I eat here often?”

Tags: aging, Atlanta, France, senior citizens, weddings and marriage