ivman's blague

I love children and the wonderful things they say! At the end of this past week, our grandson Drew has come up with his special name for his grandpa - Papi (pronounced like the flower - poppy). His two grandmothers remain nameless, but I suspect that their special names will be revealed shortly.

Today’s instant vacation starts off with some four year olds’ ideas for Thanksgiving dinner. Some of you struggling with what to have for Thanksgiving next week may want to consider some of their ideas. That list is followed by some junior highers’ ideas concerning the Seven Wonders of the World.

Kids’ Thanksgiving menus

This comes from the teacher of a 4 year old kindergarten class. Their assignment was to tell about their family’s Thanksgiving meal.

Ashley - We eat pizza. Put it in a really hot oven. My mommy knows when it’s done. It has white cheese and pepperoni on it.

Jessica - For Thanksgiving we eat chicken. Put it in a pan and cook it. Check on it and when it’s all black it’s done. For dessert have chocolate chip cookies.

Emily - Put the chicken bones in and get them hotter. Serve it with cranberries, and carrots. For dessert have chocolate candy.

Christina - We eat corn and cereal. Put sugar on the cereal and eat it. Have cookies for a treat.

Mario - We eat popcorn. Put it in a microwave for 2 times. Put butter and salt on it.

Stanley - We eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Put jelly on the bread. Then put the peanut butter on. Have milk with it.

Shedric - We eat turkey. Put the turkey in the oven. Put bones inside of it. Have pie for dessert.

Brett - We eat cereal. Put it in a bowl. Add milk. Use a spoon. It tastes good.

Sara - Cut up the turkey with a knife. Have mashed potatoes. Eat pumpkin cake for dessert.

Briana - Put the turkey in the oven. It has to stay in the oven until night time. Stuff it with stuffing. Serve it with peas and mashed potatoes. For dessert have nothing.

Larry - We eat raisin cereal. Put it in a bowl. Put milk in it. Serve it with chips.

Amanda T. - We eat turkey. Put it in the oven for a really long time. Stukk it with ham. It’s black when it’s done. Eat it with white potatoes and corn. For dessert have chocolate pudding.

Joseph - We eat pork chops. Put ketchup on them. Put them in the oven at a whole bunch of degrees. Serve it with french fries.

Courtney - We eat macaroni. Put the macaroni in a bowl and cook it up. Serve cheese with it. Have salad with ketchup on top.

Cara - Cook the turkey on the stove. Stuff the turkey with chicken. Cook it for 16 minutes. Have yogurt for dessert.

Cassondra - We have chicken. Clean the chicken. Put butter on it with a knife. Then it’s ready to eat. Have butter potatoes. For dessert have strawberry yogurt.

Amber - We eat peanut butter. Put the peanut butter on bread. Put the jelly on the peanut butter.

Pangtala - We eat bananas and milk.

Nicholas - First you cut the turkey witha knife. Then you cook it in the oven for 12 minutes at 4 degrees. The alarm goes off when it’s done. Eat it with a fork.

Kelly - Put seeds on the turkey and put it in the oven. Put it on the table with spaghetti-O’s, toast, and pork chops.

Anthony - Put the turkey in the oven. It has to be very hot. When it beeps, it has to come out. Serve it with carrots. For dessert have chocolate and vanilla ice cream.

Thomas - We eat pizza. Pat it and spread it. Put mushrooms on it. Cook it in the oven for 3 months. Eat it with corn.

Devin - We eat macaroni. We eat mashed potatoes. You make it in the kettle. Cook it 2 minutes, and you sit down. Then you go in your room. We drink water.

Gabriel - We eat pancakes. They are hard. My mommy makes them.

A junior high Geography class was studying the Seven Wonders of the World. At the end of that section, the students were asked to list what they thought could be considered the current Seven Wonders of the World. Though there was some disagreement, the following got the most votes:

1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2. India’s Taj Mahal
3. The Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter’s Basilica
7. China’s Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student, a quiet girl, hadn’t turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she were having trouble with her list. The quiet girl replied, “Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there were so many.” The teacher said, “Well, tell us what you have and maybe we can help.” The girl hesitated, then read, “I think the Seven Wonders of the World are

1. to touch
2. to taste
3. to see
4. to hear

She hesitated again and then added

5. to feel
6. to laugh
7. and to love

The silence in the room was almost deafening. It is so easy for us to look at exploits of man or at spectacular things and refer to them as “wonders” while we overlook some of the seemingly little things God has given us, regarding them as merely “ordinary.”

May we all be reminded today of God’s ordinary blessings that are truly wonders. In connection with the Thanksgiving season, I try to imagine the reaction of a group of women at a bridal shower if the bride opened her gifts without comment, then at the end said, “I sure am thankful for all this!” without thanking any individual gift-giver or commenting on any gift along the way. Don’t you think we’re sometimes like that at Thanksgiving? “We have so much to be thankful for!” we cheerfully exclaim. As we are “thankful” at this time of year, let’s be sure to remember to say thanks to the One from whom all blessings flow, and not just be thankful that we’re blessed, forgetting the Giver.

I’ve put a new poll question in the sidebar about your Thanksgiving traditions.

quotation…

“When God is good to you, it’s not because everything is okay. It’s because He is good.” - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Thanksgiving is not just a holiday - it’s an attitude.

Tags: children, geography, students, Thanksgiving, traditions

We celebrated our grandson Drew’s first birthday this past weekend. I have way too many pictures to pick from, so I will show as much restraint as possible. Here are some of the stories and some pictures….

Grandma and Nora traveled up as planned. They got stuck in a horrible traffic backup in Tennessee, not far from the state line to Kentucky. They got off at the next exit the traffic crept up to to try to find a restroom. Several men from the DOT pulled off to see if they were OK. Becka asked the one man why the traffic was so backed up, thinking he’d say it was an accident since the southbound traffic was flowing fine. He told her that the some of the mountain had caved! Yikes! We were thankful that it had happened before they got that far. He told them that if they continued on the road at that exit, they would come to a gravel road that would eventually take them to Jellico on the other side of the place where the mountain had caved. It was after dark, but they could see well enough to know that the left side of the gravel road was a sheer drop-off! I was very relieved when they called me from Jellico!

On Friday they managed to stay ahead of the snow storm that hammered Ohio. Below is a picture of them at lunch time in Perrysburg, OH, with some of the snow from earlier last week.

What Becka and Nora didn’t know was that a few weeks ago I cashed in some frequent-flyer miles to fly up for the weekend too! I was supposed to arrive in Detroit at about midnight, but because of the snow, our pilot was delayed in arriving from his flight from Toronto. So my three hour layover in Chicago O’Hare became a six hour layover! (reminiscent of the theme song of Gilligan’s Island … a three hour tour!) When I arrived in Detroit at about 3:00 a.m. my son-in-law (who was in on my surprise) was there waiting for me. It was so fun when I slipped into our bedroom, kissed Becka to wake her up, and enjoyed her complete surprise!

We all really enjoyed being together on Saturday as preparations were going on for the “friends party” at 5:30 that afternoon. Meg and Jim asked me if I would give Drew his first trim to try to reduce his “baby mullet.” Here are a couple of pictures of the process….

“Hey, Grandpa, what are you doing to me?!”

A lot of preparations went on in the kitchen for the food for the party the theme of which was puppies. Nora set up a cookie factory on the kitchen table….

Here’s a tray full of the finished product….

Megan made a cute cake she’d seen online….

Drew also got his own cupcake - his first taste of cake! He enjoyed the cake, but he didn’t want to touch it.

Drew really enjoyed the presents….

Grandma loved being with her boy….

It’s hard to remember his being such a tiny preemie a year ago - he’s such a fine, upstanding boy now!

My flights home Sunday were less eventful, and the delay in Chicago O’Hare was shorter than Friday night’s delay. What’s kind of sad is that 10 hours of my weekend were spent at O’Hare! Yuck! Becka and Nora are driving back to South Carolina today (Tuesday). It will be great to have them home again!

***
My recent trip up north, where they are experiencing one of their hardest winters in a long time, reminded me of the horrors of global warming and of an e-mail I received recently about the Northern Lights and a frozen Antarctic wave.

***
Yellowknife, named after copper, is the the capital of Canada’s Northwest Territories. Here are a few pictures of the Northern Lights over Yellowknife and living in teepees at 37 degrees below 0….

It’s beyond cool!

Below are some pictures of Antarctica. In the e-mail I received, what you see below was attributed to a quick freeze of a wave in super frigid air, but according to snopes it’s actually the result of melting and refreezing. Whatever the situation, that’s one cold place!

quotation…

“It’s nice to have the things money can buy, as long as you don’t lose the things money can’t buy.” - Kevin Johns

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Tags: arctic, birthdays, geography, global warming, grandparents, Northern Lights, travel, weather

My wife Becka and our daughter Nora will be leaving this evening for Detroit. They plan to drive to Kentucky, spend the night in a hotel, then continue their trip Friday. Their thinking is that if they had decided to drive the whole way up on Friday, they would have arrived in Detroit right at Friday rush hour. They’ll drive back here on Tuesday.

They are going up at this time to help celebrate the first birthday of our grandson Drew on Sunday. It’s hard to believe that he’s a year old already! There will be a friends party on Saturday afternoon and a family party on Sunday afternoon.

When our children were little, we used to pass the time on roadtrips (trying to ward off some of the squabbles) by playing that old favorite - The License Plate Game, seeing if we could see and write down a plate from each of the fifty states before the trip was over. I think the best we ever did was maybe 37 or 38 different states in one trip, surprisingly bagging Alaska and Hawaii on one trip or another!

With Becka and Nora’s upcoming roadtrip to Michigan, I thought I’d give them something to do that ramps that game up to a more sophisticated level - identifying a car’s home state or home town by looking at the the driver or other car features, before looking at the license plate for verification of your deductive skills. Maybe some of my readers could add comments giving other helpful tips for IDing drivers from their part of the world or tendancies they have noted in various locales….

How to identify where a driver is from…

Changing lanes or turning without using a blinker or speeding up when he sees your blinker rather than letting you change lanes, running red lights, pulling out in front of you from a side street when there’s nothing behind you, waiting at a side street halfway out into your lane, driving down the middle of a street rather than in his lane: Greenville, South Carolina

Knee up against steering wheel, one hand on Tim Horton’s coffee cup, cell phone in ear, accelerator to the floor, applying makeup, doing crossword puzzle in the morning Free Press, knocking down orange barrels, changing lanes without turn signals: Detroit (please pray for Becka and Nora since this is not the kind of thing they’re used to here in Greenville)

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago

One hand on wheel, one hand making rude gestures out the window: New York

One hand on wheel, one hand making rude gestures out the window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston

Foot lightly on the gas pedal (usually driving 5 or more mph under the speed limit), both hands on steering wheel, or if one hand isn’t on the steering wheel the other hand holding a cup of Starbuck’s coffee, seat pushed all the way up to the steering wheel, driving a Toyota Camry: Cleveland

One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, and with a gun on lap: Southern California

Lowered Honda, can’t see over dash, driving too fast or too slow, car sounds like a bee as it goes by: Los Angeles

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

One hand on laptop computer, one hand at on-board navigation/Internet console installed in dash board, cell phone attached to head with microphone earpiece, having a executive meeting with half a dozen people on speaker phone, palm pilot wedged between knees to observe up to date stock quotes, and shoes kicked off, and feet crossed because traffic hasn’t moved in the past hour: California (Bay Area / Silicon Valley)

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy

One hand on a 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on the game on the radio, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: Seattle

No use of turn signal, or left blinker on for 26 blocks … also cradling cheap cell phone: Dubuque, Iowa

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, hunting rifle between legs, feet alternating between both being on the accelerator and both being on the brake, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road, throwing a McDonald’s bag out the window: Texas male

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female

Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another’s car: Colorado

One hand on steering wheel, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn’t hit other motorists, so as not to litter: Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate

Beat up 1983 Dodge Ram pick-up truck, right hand holding a Dunkin Donuts coffee, cigarette dangling from mouth, greasy hair shoved underneath an oil stained cap, oldies blaring from the radio: Maine

Both hands on the wheel, seat as far forward as possible, head fixed only looking forward, ignoring people behind and beside you, stopping and waiting for the road to fully clear before making any forward progress: Toronto

Both hands clenched on steering wheel, driver staring directly forward, cutting in front of you and slowing down to 40 in a 60 zone then looking in rearview mirror in wonder as to why the car behind is flashing high beams: Ontario

Engaged in heated political discussion with espresso in one hand and croissant in the other, aiming for pedestrians who have the mistaken notion that crosswalks are for them: Quebec

One hand on wheel, other hand reaching out window trying to catch the windshield wiper to snap the ice off the blade: Minnesota

Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, empty cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia male

Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is also now wearing a barrel instead of nice clothes: Las Vegas

One hand on the wheel the other waving at every car that passes as if it were his neighbor: North Carolina

One finger on steering wheel of a jacked up 4×4, country music blaring from speakers, dead coyote in back, hay leaves blowing out of bed while going down the highway: Montana

Both hands on wheel, chunks of rust falling off by the pound: Nebraska

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 in the left lane on the interstate, with the left blinker on: Florida “seasoned citizen” driver, also known as a “no-see-’em”

Both hands on the reigns: Pennsylvania

quotation…

“Is the gospel good news for you, or is it just good information?” - Dr. Tim Keesee

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to edge his car out onto a freeway.

Tags: drivers, geography, license plates

The past few weeks have had us wondering if we’re living in South Carolina or in Florida because of the very high temps. This past weekend we finally got the break we’d been waiting for as the daytime highs moved into the 70s and low 80s instead of the 90s we’d been having! Phew! Right before that happened, I received for a subscriber what I’m posting today. I’m assured that most of this is how things really are in Florida!

You know you’re a Floridian if…

Socks are only for bowling.

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

Anything under 70 degrees Fahrenheit is chilly.

You pass on the right and honk at the elderly, but pull over for a funeral.

You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction.

You could swim before you could read.

You have to drive north to get to The South.

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

You’ve gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark.

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for.

You dread lovebug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances, Hurricane Ivan, and Hurricane Jeanne, but Charley, Frances, Ivan, and Jeanne.

You know what a snowbird is and you are not crazy about them.

You know why flamingos are pink.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven’t.

“Down South” means Key West.

“Panhandling” means going to Pensacola.

You think nobody over 90 should be allowed to drive.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it’s Easter or Christmas.

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

You smirk when a game show’s “Grand Prize” is a trip or cruise to Florida.

You measure distance in minutes.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and February.

It’s not soda, cola, or pop. It’s coke, regardless of brand or flavor - “What kinda coke you want?”

Anything under 95 is just warm.

You’ve hosted a hurricane party.

You go to a theme park for an afternoon and know when to get on the best rides. (Space Mountain during the Electric Light Parade!)

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Ichnatucknee, and Withlacoochee.

You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, Nascar, Go Gators, and a confederate flag.

You were 5 before you realized they made houses without pools.

You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn’t swim.

You get angry when people say ” Florida isn’t really part of the SOUTH.”

You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

You know what the “stingray shuffle” is, and why it’s important!

You recognize Miami-Dade as “Northern Cuba.”

***
Our daughter Megan sent us some new pictures of grandson Drew the other day. Here are a couple of our favorites from that batch.

Drew discovers his feet for the first time…

Drew being pleasant while modeling some clothes he’ll need when colder weather hits Michigan…

Grandma and I are thrilled that Megan and Drew will be coming to spend a few days with us at the end of next week, right before Grandpa’s birthday! I’m sure I’ll have some more pictures to post during and/or after that visit.

quotation…

“Worldliness is temporal living, making love choices for things that will pass.” - Dr. Bruce McAllister

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

Tags: Florida, geography, weather

One really unique thing about BJU is that we have students from every state and from dozens of foreign countries. As I reflected on the diverse backgrounds of my students, I thought of something in my files - a list a state mottos that were all rejected for one reason or another. As you look at the list, it will be obvious why these mottos were not adopted….

Rejected State Mottos

Alabama
Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong!

Arizona
But It’s a Dry Heat!

Arkansas
Lituracy Ain’t Everythang!

California
Se Hable Ingles

Colorado
If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother

Connecticut
Like Massachusetts, Only Smaller, But WAY Too Close to New York!

Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
And Our Voting Skills

Georgia
Stop Here on Your Way to Florida

Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money!)

Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes…. Well, Okay, We’re Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois
Please, Don’t Pronounce the “S”

Indiana
Tidal Wave Free

Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana
Ignrint - and Proud of It!

Maine
We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan
Where Cars Used to Come From

Minnesota
Land of 7,000 Lakes, 3,000 Man-made Ponds, and
10,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi
Why Would You Want to Come Here?- Elvis Was Born Here, and Even He Left!

Missouri
Gateway to Kansas

Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Extremist Wackos, and Honest Elections!

Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada
Come Feel Better About Your Own State!

New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey
The Garbage State - Waste Not … Send It Here Instead!

New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney..
And No Right To Self Defense!

North Carolina
Tobacco IS a Vegetable

North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio
Don’t Judge Us by Cleveland

Oklahoma
Just Like The Musical, But No Singing

Oregon
Spotted Owl … It’s What’s For Dinner

Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island
We’re Not REALLY an Island

South Carolina
Remember The War of Northern Aggression? Well, We Haven’t Actually Surrendered Yet

South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum

Texas
Don’t Mess with Texas - We’re Armed!

Utah
Which Wife?

Vermont
Too Liberal for Even the Kennedys

Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?

Washington
If We’d Meant DC, We’d Have Said DC, You Imbecile!

Washington, D.C.
Seattle is NOT our capital, WE are the CAPITAL!
Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia
One Big Happy Family … Really!

Wisconsin
Come Cut Cheese!

Wyoming
And You Thought Ohio Was Flat!

quotation…

“Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.” - C.S. Lewis

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Could it be that so many deer get hit on the interstates because they’re simply obeying the posted deer crossing signs?

Tags: geography, state mottos