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Posts Tagged ‘global warming’

art theft in Paris!

Since many people know I’m a French teacher, they send me a lot of French-related news and humor. I’ve decided to post one of those news items to my blog today. Prepare yourself - this is pretty shocking!

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After much careful planning, he craftily got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas!

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, “Monsieur that is the reason I stole the paintings.

I had no Monet

to buy Degas

to make the Van Gogh.”

This is Rob again. Hope that wasn’t too painful for those of you who aren’t into puns. I received what I’m posting today by e-mail from several people. I think none of them thought I would have De Gaulle

to post this on my blog, but I figured after everything else I’ve posted, what have I got Toulouse?

Many here in the US are enjoying a nice break from global warming recently with absolutely frigid temps. It’s supposed to get down into the teens here tonight! I know for some of you, that would be a nice spring day, but for those of us here in South Carolina, that is very cold!

For those of you who receive my blog posts by e-mail, any pictures that I include in blog posts should come through in the e-mail version. Some people have to click on something in their e-mail to make the images load. Sometimes that is found in a little bar at the very top of the e-mail - it all depends on the e-mail program you’re using. In the last week or so, I have also inserted a couple of video clips into my blog posts - one of tractor square dancing and another of a man singing the song I mentioned in my last blog post. In order to view those, you must go to the blog. You can do that by clicking on the words “latest post to ivman’s blague” or on the title of that blog post - both of those links are in the body of the e-mail message.

quotation…

“If heaven wouldn’t be heaven without God, how can this life be good without Him?” - Dr. Drew Conley

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Rob

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

global cooling

Hey, where’s “global warming” when we need it?!? My wife and I were talking this morning about how ironic it is that the week after global warming was all over the news, the weather turns bitterly cold. I told her that I think it’s the Lord revealing His delightful sense of humor as He reminds us of who *really* controls the climate.

As many of us enjoy our current reprieve from the warming, I thought a little humor on winter weather would be in order.

TELLING THE WEATHER

To tell what the weather is like, put the dog outside. A few minutes later, go to your back door and look for the dog.

If the dog is wet, it’s probably raining. If the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.

If the dog’s fur looks like it’s been rubbed the wrong way, it’s probably windy.

If the dog has snow on his back, it’s probably snowing.

Of course, to be able to tell the weather whenever you want, you should leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect really harsh, life-threatening weather.

Sincerely,
The Cat

***
Random thoughts on winter…

It was so cold last winter that one basketball player was late for practice because he was out trying to jump start the reindeer.

You know winter has truly arrived when you neighbor returns your lawn mower and borrows your snow shovel.

It was really cold out there today - like a refrigerator. I know. I opened the front door and the little light went on.

What can I say? The cold weather you prayed for back in August is finally here.

You know it’s cold when the wind chill factor exceeds the speed limit.

You know it’s cold when you’re combing your hair and it breaks.

You know it’s cold when you set a pan of boiling water outside and it freezes so fast the ice is still warm.

Remember, if your car starts to skid on icy streets, turn your steering wheel in the direction of the skid and jump out the windows on the passenger side.

This is the time of the year when people start going to places where they pay $200 a day to experience the same kind of heat they were complaining about in August.

One nice thing about winter weather - it’s easy to find a picnic table.

When the highway department has been working all night spreading sand on the streets, it can mean one of two things - either the streets are icy or they are putting in a new beach for next year’s tourist season.

It was so cold last night that the candle froze, and we couldn’t blow it out.

It was so cold that when we were talking outside that our words froze, and we had to nuke them in the microwave just to see what we were saying to each other.

One nice things about living in the North - it snows only twice during the winter. Once for three months and once for two months.

The North *does* have a great snow removal system. It’s called August.

***
I’m currently in a grading vortex, but other than that, all’s well here.

quotation…

“None of us can bear everyone’s burden, but God has placed us where we can help bear someone’s burden.” - Dr. Drew Conley

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Rob Loach in Greenville SC

How does the person who drives the snowplow get to work?

mindset of the class of 2010

We all view life and the world around us from our own frame of reference. Older people sometimes have trouble keeping up with such rapid change in our technological age. But younger people often have trouble thinking beyond their comparatively limited experiences. It’s not uncommon for a young person to say with complete confidence, “I’ll never need this. Why do I have to study it?” I heard a wise, older teacher tell that his reply to such a comment is “You are not equipped to know that.”

As yet another new batch of freshman has arrived on campus, it’s good to be reminded of what is “reality” for them. One way to do that that is becoming a tradition is to check the beloit.edu site to read their listing of the “mindset” of this year’s freshman class. What I’m sending today is an edited version of their list - the items I found most interesting. If you want to read their list unedited, you can go to their site given below. Bear in mind that what these 18 year olds remember probably did not happen until after they were 5 or 6 years old.

BELOIT COLLEGE’S MINDSET LIST (edited)
FOR THE CLASS OF 2010

http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/2010.php

Members of the class of 2010, the freshmen entering college this fall, were mostly born in 1988.

For them, the Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.

They have known only two presidents.

For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.

Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.

There has always been only one Germany.

They have never heard anyone actually “ring it up” on a cash register.

They are wireless, yet always connected.

Thanks to pervasive headphones in the back seat, parents have always been able to speak freely in the front.

A coffee has always taken longer to make than a milkshake.

Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.

Faux fur has always been a necessary element of style.

They have never had to distinguish between the St. Louis Cardinals baseball and football teams.

DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.

They grew up pushing their own miniature shopping carts in the supermarket.

They grew up with and have outgrown faxing as a means of communication.

“Google” has always been a verb.

Text messaging is their email.

Mr. Rogers, not Walter Cronkite, has always been the most trusted man in America.

Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards and snail mail to retail items.

Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents’ attics.

They grew up in mini-vans.

Young women’s fashions have never been concerned with where the waist is.

They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.

Brides have always worn white for a first, second, or third wedding.

Being techno-savvy has always been inversely proportional to age.

“So” as in “That is sooooo New York,” has always been a drawn-out adjective modifying a proper noun, which in turn modifies something else

They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.

Retin-A has always made America look less wrinkled.

Small white holiday lights have always been in style.

Most of them never had the chance to eat bad airline food.

They have always been searching for “Waldo.”

They never played the game of state license plates in the car.

They have always preferred going out in groups as opposed to dating.

There have always been live organ donors.

They have always had access to their own credit cards.

They have never put their money in a “Savings & Loan.”

Bad behavior has always been getting captured on amateur videos.

Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.

Beach volleyball has always been a recognized sport.

Acura, Lexus, and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.

Television stations have never concluded the broadcast day with the national anthem.

Disposable contact lenses have always been available.

Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss has always been the perfect graduation gift.

They have always “dissed” what they don’t like.

The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.

Richard M. Daley has always been the Mayor of Chicago.

They grew up with virtual pets to feed, water, and play games with, lest they die.

Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.

***
personal update…

Last week we had an all-too-brief visit from a friend I met in France in 1975 - Doris Gilbert, for those of you who know her. I hadn’t seen her in 14 years, and it was wonderful to see someone whose life has had such an impact on mine. It was a huge blessing to see her continuing to minister to many, at age 83, long after she’s officially “retired from ministry.” She asked me if other seniors receive my iv’s, and I assured her that there are a good number in that category on my mailing list. Since she had brought the age thing up, I told her that I wanted to ask her, since she knew him personally, if George Washington was a nice man. Without missing a beat, she said, “You must have me confused with my grandfather.” We did talk a little about history, and it was neat to hear the perspectives of someone who has lived even more of history than we have.

quotation…

To the assembled faculty this fall: “All of us are students, learners, sitting at His feet.” - Dr. Stewart Custer

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Rob Loach in Greenville SC

You know it’s going to be a bad day when your teenager knocks on your bedroom door first thing in the morning and says, “Today is Nerd Day at school, Dad. Can I borrow some of your clothes?”