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Posts Tagged ‘headlines’

More Headlines


I've done some posts previously on headlines and newspapers, but the people who work in print media just keep serving up more bloopers for our (unintentional?) enjoyment.

As I scanned through my file of headlines, I noticed that quite a few showed the need for proofreaders with some mathematical expertise.

For this first one, just the ability to count would have sufficed.

9 Who Care

The next several headlines show a lack of some other fundamental principles.
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Where Are the Proofreaders When You Need Them?


I've done about a dozen blog posts on newspapers and headlines, but papers continue to publish items that could not be funnier if they were trying to be humorous. Since my folder is so full of great newspaper gaffes that either eluded a proofreader or betray the absence of proofreaders, I will publish some every few weeks until that folder is empty. Many thanks to my blog readers for keeping me supplied!

I'll make no commentary, leaving that instead to the comments section. Now on to today's fun, some of which might require careful reading. WARNING: make sure you are in a place where you are free to laugh out loud at least several times!


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Attention Grabbers


picture of headline

We live in an increasingly distracting world. Public speakers find that "attention grabbers" are useful and at times even necessary in getting their audiences to focus. Newspapers have to do this with headlines. Today I'm posting some headlines that grab the attention for one reason or another. I suspect that some of them were more arresting than the person writing them had hoped for, like the one on the right.

Here's one from this summer that makes you wonder if they understand what a tie is.

picture of headline

Even an elementary school student could catch the typo in this one, if he or she has learned the ditty "Capital M, I S S, I S S...."

picture of headline

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Disturbing Headlines


picture of headline

After reading the title of this blog post, some may be asking how anyone can disturb a headline. Of course, it's the headlines that are disturbing us. Between natural disasters (earthquakes, snow storms, rock slides, etc.) and man-made disasters (you can supply your own...), many newspaper and magazine headlines are so disturbing right now that I thought I would try to cheer my readers up with some headlines that they could laugh about. The humor in some of the headlines below results from nouns being mistaken as verbs, and vice versa. In others it comes from misplaced modifiers or just unfortunate wordings.

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead (With that being old news, something more up-to-date would be Obama Wins on Health Care, But More Lies Ahead)

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years

Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
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Indicators That the Economy Really Is Bad


Did you hear that Michael Jackson has died?! 😯 I've had some fun lately asking friends and family that question, acting as if I had just heard the shocking news for the first time myself. With the almost non-stop news coverage about him and his family, you'd have to be living in a cave not to know that MJ has passed away! I have seen the comic strip below online attributed to John Campbell and also unattributed several places and hope you'll enjoy it.

picture of news coverage

That sums up fairly well 95% of the news updates we hear after the death this world's "heros."

Did you hear that our economy is struggling?! 😯 As you well know, the news is full of stories of bankruptcies, layoffs, and gloomy forecasts, all the while struggling to make it look as if Obama is delivering the hope and change he promised instead of making things worse. But if you've been hit hard personally by the economy, you don't need news coverage to tell you so. Because many people have been affected personally or have loved ones affected, I have not been asking people in jest whether they've heard that heard that the economy is in trouble, as I do with the death of Michael Jackson. That said, though, I did have to chuckle at a list of indicators I received recently from an ivman reader who teaches business at my university.

You know the economy is really bad when....

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

You got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

You went to buy a toaster oven and they gave you a bank.

Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration aren't paying their taxes.

Officials from the Obama administration meet with small businesses — GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup, and GM — to discuss the Stimulus Package.

Mothers in China are telling their children to clean their plates because children are starving in America.

McDonald's is selling the Quarter-Ouncer.

People in Beverly Hills have fired their nannies and are learning the names of their own children.

The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.

People in Africa are donating money to Americans.

Motel Six won't leave the light on for you.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

The bank returns your check marked as "Insufficient Funds" and you call them to ask if they meant you or themselves.

divider

What are you or those close to you doing differently because of the current economy? I'm sure your personal belt-tightening is more serious than the list above. 🙂

quotation...

"Self-interest is not necessarily selfishness." - Dr. Marty Marriott

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Things have gotten so bad that gold diggers are now marrying for love.


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