ivman's blague rotating header image loading ... please wait....

Posts Tagged ‘holidays’

Military Wit and Wisdom

picture for Veterans Day poppy

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all who currently serve our nation in the armed services or who have ever served. Veterans Day was originally known as Armistice Day to celebrate the end of World War I and to honor those who served. In 1954 President Eisenhower's signature changed the name to Veterans Day and the purpose, to honor all veterans.

World War I (also called the Great War) has a special place in my heart. If it had not been for that war, my Grandpa Loach, a soldier boy from northwest Ohio, would never have met a pretty little French girl in Calais, France, and I would never have been born. Calais is not far from an area in France called Flanders. Many of you are familiar with the poem In Flanders Fields, by John McCrae (1919) and its famous first line "In Flanders fields the poppies grow...." I have seen and loved fields full of wild poppies (coquelicots) in that part of France. When I was growing up in NW Ohio, people sold artificial poppies for Veterans Day. I don't know if they still do since I've been gone from there at this time of year for over 40 years.

William Tecumseh Sherman is known for his quotation, "War is hell." I've never been in the military nor lived in a war-ravaged area, but I would imagine from what I've read that that is indeed the case. To combat the stress and difficulties of military life and war, many people in uniform have a great sense of humor. A sense of humor can bring you through a lot of bad situations. Today's iv is a list of quotations, some of which came to me unattributed, from military people.

"Aim towards the Enemy." – Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." – US Marine Corps

"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." – USAF Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." – Infantry Journal
Click here to continue reading this post ⇒

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

Christopher Columbus, the First Italian-American?

picture of Christopher Columbus

Happy Columbus Day! Though the only thing exceptional about today for most of us is receiving no bills in our mailboxes, I have one reader for whom the day holds special meaning ... and she knows who she is.... 🙂 Columbus Day, the anniversary of Columbus's 1492 landing in the Americas, is observed October 12 in Spain and the second Monday of October in the USA. Some don't realize that, though financed in his explorations by Isabella I of Castile (north-central Spain), Columbus was Italian, born in Genoa, which is in modern-day Italy. Some now seek to vilify Columbus, but his coming to the Americas may give him the distinction of being the first Italian-American.

With that in mind, today I'm posting a list of ways you can know you're from an Italian background. If you're not, you might at least recall observing some of these behaviors in people you know with an Italian heritage.

DISCLAIMER: Since my background is French, there are some aspects of the following that I don't understand and pass on with a bit of trepidation. I asked an Italian student of mine about several, and he assured me they're okay. Just don't send the Mafia after me!

picture of flags

You know you're Italian-American when...

You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, and still cry when your mama yells at you.

Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent, and lawyer are all blood relatives.

When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street.

All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or your grandmother.

You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe.

Your two best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.
Click here to continue reading this post ⇒

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

Three Quick Jokes

Life is busy right now, playing catch-up after last week. So for today's "instant vacation" I'm posting three short jokes about what people know and don't know.

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.

On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.

"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."

"I know," said his physician. "I can cure pneumonia."
Click here to continue reading this post ⇒

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

Signs for the New Year

picture of New Years hat

The beginning of a new year is such a curious mix of hopes and expectations. You say, hear, or read "Happy New Year!" more often than anyone could count, and the hope is certainly there that the new year will bring happiness.

This new year is no exception. Some have high hopes, while others are guardedly optimistic, at best. There are a number of signs that things will look very different at the end of this year. Even the new president whose campaign mantra was "hope and change" has said often recently that the economic picture is very grave, and could be for a long time to come. Time will tell. May whatever unfolds during this new year draw us closer to the One who offers real hope and change.

Even though there are signs of difficult days ahead, I have another kind of sign to share as today's instant vacation. Here's a baker's dozen of them that have accumulated in that folder on my computer.

I think this one was meant to be about the environment....

picture of funny sign

I guess all you'd have left would be your appendages....

picture of funny sign

This looks rather ominous....

picture of funny sign

I've never seen a notebook explained in this way....

picture of funny sign

I wonder what this sign is meant to communicate....

picture of funny sign

I'm told that this is from an Italian filling station....

picture of funny sign

I wonder where one can find the pegulations mentioned below....

picture of funny sign

I'm not sure how quickly these "sale" items will clear....

picture of funny sign

This French teacher is wondering what "relooking" is exactly....

picture of funny sign

Hope your [sic] not looking for Candid Camera here....

picture of funny sign

I wonder what spelling bee champ Micheal (Michael?) thought of these congratuladons....

picture of funny sign

I've had some woefully tasteless coffee myself....

picture of funny sign

Maybe they're putting on the dog instead....

picture of funny sign

When our grandson Drew was here this week, we saw a number of signs that he enjoyed his baths - like tidal waves in our bathroom!

picture of our grandson

Becka's blog

Well, for those of you who have been hoping that my wife would start her own blog, it has happened! Her not-so-young geek worked on it quite a while yesterday to get everything in place. You can check it out at http://beckasblog.ivman.com I've put a link in my sidebar also. Her blog comes complete with an RSS feed and a posts-by-e-mail option. She's got lots of ideas and plenty of new fodder, as you will seen in today's post.


"We must beg God for humble hearts so that we may receive His wisdom." - Dr. Chris Barney

=^..^= =^..^=
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year 2009!

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

New Year’s Resolutions You Can Keep

picture of treadmill

I thought I'd post some ideas to help you to get a jump on those New Year's resolutions for 2009 or at least make you happier that you don't make any anyway.

Are you sick and tired of making resolutions year after year, resolutions that you never keep? Like this person's resolutions for the past 4 years....

2005: I will work out every day.
2006: I will work out 5 days a week.
2007: I will work out 3 days a week.
2008: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you might be able to keep.

New Year's resolutions you can keep

Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.

Don't exercise. Waste your time in some other way.

Read less. Reading makes you think.

Watch more TV. You don't want to miss the one good thing that comes along.

Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.

Take a vacation to someplace important, like to see the world's largest ball of twine.

Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.

Don't have octuplets.

Get in a whole NEW rut!

Don't buy an '83 Eldorado with a really loud stereo system, tinted windows, and fur on the dashboard.

Speak in a monotone voice and use only monosyllabic words.

Wear only jeans that are 2 sizes too small, and use a chain or rope for a belt.

Don't eat cloned meat.

Create loose ends.

Get more toys.

Get further in debt.

Don't believe politicians.

Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.

Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.

Associate with even worse business clients.

Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them.

Wait for opportunity to knock.

Focus on the faults of others.

Mope about your own faults.

Never make New Year's resolutions again.


You'll have to check out the "facelift" I've given the blog.


"If no one is able to govern himself, then who among us has the capacity to govern someone else?" - Ronald Reagan

=^..^= =^..^=

Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

Page 1 of 5123...Last »