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Posts Tagged ‘holidays’

Another Idea for Turkey


For those of you who are still grappling with leftover turkey, here is another recipe that you might want to try. I think it is just about the ideal after-turkey-dinner recipe because it contains turkey, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I'm not sure where this recipe came from, but it's very tasty.

Green Bean and Turkey Casserole
2 cups cubed cooked turkey or chicken
2 cups fresh or frozen cooked green beans
1 can cream of chicken soup
1/3 cup milk (plus additional for moistening mashed potatoes)
approximately 2 cups cooked mashed potatoes (make extra the day of your feast)
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 cup French fried onions (from can or bag)

picture of casserole in the making

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix turkey, green beans, soup, and milk. Pour into a two quart greased casserole dish. (If you have a little leftover stuffing you can add this too.) Moisten mashed potatoes with a little milk and whisk to fluff them up. Spread on top of turkey/green bean mixture. Sprinkle with cheese. Bake about 25 mins. or until bubbly. Top with french fried onions and return to oven for about 5 more minutes. Enjoy!

picture of casserole done

Since Rob always gets to post pictures of our grandson Drew, I'm going to take advantage of doing a post to put out a picture we took yesterday while our little guy was napping with his friend (Curious) George - who makes a great pillow!

picture of Drew and George napping

Becka


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News Flash from the North Pole


picture of Bubba Claus

(The following is a note from Santa Claus.)

Dear y'all,

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.

Differences that have been noted:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC Cola, pork rinds, and a MoonPie on the mantle.

picture of a Bubba Claus dog

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen" when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh has a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

9. Fun Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" and "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer." This year, songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. These song titles will be "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox" and "Grandma Got Run'd Over by a Reindeer."

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus

divider

As I did my exhausting research for this post, I was surprised that is Bubba Claus almost as famous as his flannel shirttail cousin Santa Claus, with all sorts of Bubba Claus items out there. I found a Bubba Claus knife by Schrade, Bubba Claus albums and CD's, and even a Bubba Claus quilt.

This post seems to be the perfect opportunity to share pictures of an incredible redneck Christmas tree sent to me by several people.

picture of redneck Christmas tree

picture of redneck Christmas tree

picture of redneck Christmas tree

picture of redneck Christmas tree

picture of redneck Christmas tree

And now the most amazing part - how beautiful a bunch of Mountain Dew cans can look...

picture of redneck Christmas tree

This will be my only blog post this week. Next week I'll post on Monday evening again with some fresh family pictures since our whole little family will be together here for a few days. In the meantime, here's a picture of our grandson Drew whose mom helped him make his first snow angel in the heavy snow they got a few days ago.

picture of Drew making a snow angel

Wherever your Christmas celebration is on the scale from redneck to elegant, may it be joyous! Here's a final greeting from Bubba Claus and his dawgs who will be visiting our (red)neck of the woods.

picture of Bubba Claus and his dawgs

quotation...

"God goes after the ones religious people think are unlikely and saves them." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Snowflakes are one of the most fragile things in nature, but just look at what they can do when they stick together.


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How to Plan an Inoffensive Office Christmas Party


picture of the grinch

How can you plan an inoffensive office Christmas party? Read on....

Those of you who have been reading my iv's for any length of time know that I try to provide the best in good, clean humor. But you also know that in doing that, I am often not "politically correct." In fact, I have real issues with the direction that the PC crowd is striving to drag our society. I think of that right now because each year the attempts to remove Christ from Christmas become more blatant. (Imagine people trying to make some sort of connection between Christ and CHRISTmas! - tongue firmly planted in cheek....) With that in mind, I'm posting a satirical series of e-mail memos about one company's first annual "Office Christmas Party."

DISCLAIMER: today's instant vacation contains several things that I do not personally participate in, but I post this because illustrates so well why we wouldn't want a politically correct, pure democracy, especially in today's increasingly fragmented environment.

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Office Christmas Party
DATE: December 1

I'm happy to inform you that the first of what we hope will become the annual Office Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Pat

========================================

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
DATE: December 2
RE: Office Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas. So we'll be calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Everybody happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Pat

========================================

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, upset about the eggnog and requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request. But if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pat

========================================

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - the days are so short this time of year - or else package everything for take-home in little foil containers shaped like swans. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-carb and low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food, and we suggest that those people with high blood pressure taste their food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics since the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?

Pat

========================================

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice ... what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based goddess-worshiping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your drumming circle during a break in the band music.

OK???

========================================

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
Date: December 9
RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock from Easter candy or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day.

Could we lighten up?

========================================

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
DATE: December 10
RE: Holiday Party

Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your stupid salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes ... but you know, they have feelings, too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream, I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

========================================

FROM: Teri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
DATE: December 14
RE: Pat Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Thanks to our politically correct celebration of "diversity," we will not be able to enjoy a simple party together! We hope that this change does not offend anyone. If it does, GET A LIFE!

Happy Chanuk-Kwanzaa-Solsti-Rama-Mas! Whatever!

divider

Soooo... the way to have an inoffensive holiday party in some places is simply not to have one at all! Sadly, for those who get up every morning with a chip on their shoulder that they long to have someone knock off that day, that solution is what would make them truly happy - they're happy when no one's happy. Bah Humbug!

If you have some inoffensive or offensive favorite holiday traditions to share, please add your comment to this post. How do you handle those in your life who seem to be so eager to be offended?

quotation...

"True adoration comes not just from lips, but from lives." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Life is just a phase ... and you will get over it!


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It’s like Déjà Vu All over Again!


Although it's already July 15 in France at the time I'm posting this in the USA, the French spent the 14th celebrating Bastille Day. It was fun to hear from several of my students today who wanted to wish me a Happy Bastille Day. My wife and I have actually been in France several times on the 14th of July and have seen the parade in Paris, jets overhead trailing blue, white, and red smoke, and in the evening fireworks in the distance. If they're anything, the French are creative in their celebrations!

In honor of the day, I'm posting something vaguely reminiscent of French. Do you ever feel as if you've heard the expression déjà vu before? It's the illusion of having previously experienced a situation that is happening now.

For you francophones out there, if you feel as if you've read the following before, that would be déjà lu.

When I feel as if I've...

...milked this cow before - déjà moo

...seen this strange animal before - déjà gnu

...smelled this bad odor before - déjà phew

...visited this menagerie before - déjà zoo

...scared this person away before - déjà ... BOO!

...read this mystery book before - déjà clue

...been in this courtroom before - déjà sue

...felt this bad before - déjà rue

...felt this sad before - déjà blue

...expanded this way before - déjà grew

...seen this slime before - déjà goo

...learned this stuff before - déjà knew

...waited in line before - déjà queue

...eaten this dinner before - déjà stew

...pursued this person before - déjà woo

...had this feeling of déjà vu before - déjà too

...seen these twins before - déjà two

...been on this airplane before - déjà flew

...came up with this innovation before - déjà new

...fed these pigeons before - déjà coo

...sketched this portrait before - déjà drew

...been in this Starbucks before - déjà brew

...ended this relationship before - déjà through

...felt this ill before - déjà flu

...sheared this sheep before - déjà ewe

...munched on this gum ball before - déjà chew

...lost its match under the same bed before - déjà shoe

...exposed the real facts before - déjà true

...sat through this sermon before - déjà pew

...played in this wet grass before - déjà dew

...admired this scenery before - déjà ooooo...

...forgotten this person's name before - déjà who?

Do any of you have an actual déjà vu experience you'd like to share?

divider

quotation...

"Hope attaches itself to the future and is the certainty of what will be." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Right now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.


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Did Your Dad Say This?


today's instant vacation...

I'm posting "off schedule" because I want to share some of my favorite humor about dads. As scary as it is now to look in the mirror and see my dad, it was scarier yet when I first started hearing my dad when I interacted with my kids as they grew up. I would say something and think afterwards how unoriginal or recylced it was - I was unintentionally quoting or paraphrasing my own dad! I lost my dad 34 years ago (massive heart attack at age 42), and I still miss him a lot. There's so much I would love to be sharing with him. I know he would absolutely love my kids and be as proud of them as I am. And my kids would love him as much as I do.

Many of us have favorite quotations from our fathers and/or grandfathers. The list below is a list of favorite "dadisms" and also some things you would never hear your dad say.

How many of the following have you heard coming from a father?

Don't ask me, ask your mother.

Close the door. Were you born in a barn?

You didn't beat me. I let you win.

Big boys don't cry.

Don't worry. It's only blood.

Now you listen to ME, Buster!

A little dirt never hurt anyone - just wipe it off.

I told you, keep your eye on the ball.

Who said life was supposed to be fair? Life is not fair.

Always say please and thank you.

If you forget, you'll be grounded till the end of the world.

"Hey" is for horses.

This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.

Turn off those lights.

Don't give me any of your lip, young lady.

We're not lost. I'm just not sure where we are.

Do you think I am made of money?

No, we're not there yet.

Shake it off. It's only pain.

When I was your age , I....

As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules.

I'll tell you why. Because I said so. That's why.

Do what I say, not what I do.

Sit up straight!

So you think you're smart , do you?

What's so funny? Wipe that smile off your face.

Young ladies perspire; they do not sweat.

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times....

You want something to do? I'll give you something to do.

If you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me.

You should visit/call/write more often. Your mother worries.

I'm not sleeping - I was watching that channel.

I'm not just talking to hear my own voice!

Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.

What do you think I am, a bank?

What part of NO don't you understand?

I don't care what other people are doing! I'm not everybody else's father!

You're not leaving my house dressed like that!

Hurt much? I didn't feel a thing.

If you're gonna be dumb, you've gotta be tough.

Didn't your teacher learn you anything?!

Do you think I'm made of money?

It's hard to be good and easy to be bad.

I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn't see what I was saying.

Hey, did you hear me talking to you?

You know you're always gonna be Daddy's little girl.

I'm not sleeping while I watch television. I'm just resting my eyes.

Don't use that tone with me!

Am I talking to a brick wall?

If you do that one more time, I'll....

Act your age.

Two wrongs do not make a right.

Wipe your feet!

Enough is enough! Don't make me stop the car!

What did I just get finished telling you?

divider

Here are some things you'll never hear a dad say:

Leave the lights on. I don't care about the power bill.

You know ... I am made of money. Money really does grow on trees; of course, you can have that toy, book, car, etc. Whatever you want is yours

In my day, we had it much easier than you do. My parents drove me to school even though it was just next door.

Don't save for a rainy day. Your mom and I will always be here to bail you out.

You know, Honey, now that you're thirteen, you're ready for unchaperoned dates.

I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.

What do I want for my birthday? Aahh, don't worry about that. It's no big deal.

What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating's not good enough for you, son?

Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.

Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. Have fun!

Father's Day? aahh - don't worry about that -- it's no big deal to me.

divider

This is Rob again. I hope that all you dads have a great Father's Day!

quotation...

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." III John 4

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.


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