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Posts Tagged ‘hunting’

Pachydermic Prediction of Professions


Are you good at guessing a person's work just by his or her appearance or manner? Some of you might be old enough to remember the old TV show What's My Line? where a panel of four people asked yes and no questions to try to determine the line (occupation) of contestants. My young mind always wondered what "the line" was of several of the panelists, namely Arlene Francis and Dorothy Kilgallen. All I knew about them was their participation on that game show.

picture of irrelephant

In real life, it's an interesting challenge to try to figure out the line of work of people we see. Clothing is sometimes helpful, but not always. Remember when people wore surgical scrubs, not because of their work, but because scrubs were the rage in casual fashion? Our dentist dresses in a T-shirt and jeans in the office, and has done so for years. Frequently dress and other externals are totally irrelevant.

With hunting season just around the corner in some parts of the country, I'm posting a humor classic on determining a person's profession by how he or she hunts an elephant.

How to Tell a Person's Profession by the Method Used to Hunt an Elephant

Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant and catching one of whatever is left. Experienced mathematicians will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step one as a subordinate exercise.

Professors of mathematics will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students.

Theoretical mathematicians catch elephants in a cage by building a cage, going inside, closing the door and — defining the outside as inside.
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Hunting Season


picture of deer

What's your reaction when someone mentions the word hunting? Some say, "Oh, dear!" but many say, "Oh, DEER!" I have never gone hunting myself. My dad used to hunt when I was a little boy. I distinctly remember an evening when I was in first grade when Dad came home from hunting, chilled to the bone and nothing to show for it. He pronounced that he was done with hunting, and he never went again. There went my chances to learn to hunt! My brother-in-law Dan enjoys hunting, as do many friends here in Greenville. My wife and I enjoy it when wild game is shared with us and when we're served wild game in other people's homes. But at this stage of life, I don't think I'm destined to become a hunter. I'll just enjoy other aspects of the great outdoors, along with those occasional meals of wild game that hunters provide for us.

Today's "instant vacation" is several jokes and funny pictures about hunters and hunting. Hunters and non-hunters alike will find something here to laugh at in this one. Here goes....

Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, "Don't worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and someone will find us."

So they shot in the air three times, but no one came. After a while, they tried it again; still no response. Finally the second hunter said, "I suppose we can try again, but it better work this time — we're down to our last three arrows.”
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