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Posts Tagged ‘medicine’

Patients’ Charts

It's good to laugh, especially at times to laugh about what you're currently dealing with. I thought I good dose of medical humor might be in order. Today I'm posting a list of notes that doctors have supposedly written on patients' charts. It appears that the physician's handwriting may not have always been the issue here....

Doctors' notes on patients' charts...

The patient complains of a dry cough that hurts when he coughs and also when he takes deep breaths for 4 days.

The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

Patient arrived by avalanche.

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared completely.

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

The patient is disabled with a wife from Portsmouth.

The patient refused an autopsy.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a forty pound weight gain in the past three days.

She is numb from her toes down.

The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. ___ to dispose of him.

The skin was moist and dry.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

He had a left-toe amputation one month ago. He also had a left-knee amputation last year.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ___, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The other foot has the missing toe.


Because of an outbreak of whooping cough among the university students, our semester has been shortened by one week. That means that final exams are now this week instead of next. There are fewer students with whooping cough than the rumors would indicate, but the situation is a serious matter. The medical personnel are isolating those who have one or two of the symptoms and are administering a 5-day antibiotic. Many are also receiving vaccinations. Becka and I are glad that when we went for our tetanus booster a month or so ago, they gave us each a DPT immunization, the P of which stands for pertussis. Please pray for us all as we navigate through this stressful week. Pray for those overreacting and underreacting, that wisdom would prevail. 🙂


"If it doesn't look like Christ, can it claim to be Christianity?" - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are NOT a hypochondriac.

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Saturday Morning from This Side

Even though some of you may read this on Friday evening, it's already Saturday morning here. Our first week of classes has already ended. That's just amazing! The time is flying by! We all are enjoying our classes, and the students seem genuinely interested, for the most part. I learned from the parent of one of my students yesterday that most of my "middle school" students are the children of teachers here at Hainan University. In fact, she herself is an English teacher. She sat in on the last hour of my class, just to pick up some ideas and teaching techniques. The students in my class change from day to day - some don't show up, and new ones do. The other three teachers have had the same experience. Some of it is that the students go from one class to the next, seeking the level with which they are most comfortable. The reason I put quotation marks around middle school in describing my students is that they range from age 9 to 13. Below is a picture of my class taken early this week. They're really cute kids and some are really sharp!

my middle school students

Last evening (Friday) our Chinese doctor and his wife who is also a doctor came by to deliver our medicine. We were to begin taking it last night. Before I took any, my symptoms were already worsening. Then after the first dose I had a rough night of coughing and a seeming inability to clear my throat, even after having taken an expectorant I'd brought along. Once I finally got to sleep, I was fine, but it was a short night of sleep. This morning, though, I am having fewer symptoms, so we'll see.... Below is a picture of me after I poured out the first dose. I had not yet experienced the taste of the vile stuff, which, to be perfectly honest, was really not bad. Becka's hoping she's not going to lose that shiny image of "picture of health" - she began blowing her nose at bedtime last night and during the night. I'm sure after seeing everyone else's luscious bottles of Chinese medicine, she wants to share the experience. By the way, I have only 3 bottles to down in 3 days. Jean and Yvonne each have 7 bottles to down in 7 days. The dosages for all three of us is one-third of a bottle, three times a day (being sure to exclude the sediment at the bottom of the bottle). I have not spoken to either Jean or Yvonne since they went back to their apartment last evening. I'm anxious to learn how each of their medicines tasted to them. 🙂 On to the picture....


In an hour and a half, we are supposed to leave for our weekend down south. When I have the opportunity after our return, I'll share some of what we saw and experienced. Bye for now!

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Thursday Evening Adventures

Thursday afternoon friends we met last summer came to visit with us for a while. They are husband and wife and both are former English teachers; therefore our conversations were easy and lively. We had a great time of sharing and of deepening our friendships. In the course of talking to these friends, we told them about some physical ailments we'd had since arriving. They have a friend who is a doctor and who was willing to make a house call. Jean has had swollen feet and ankles since our arrival. Because her shoes are tight, she's had some blisters to deal with. She learned that it's nothing serious, just a slightly irregular heartbeat with a bit of poor circulation. Below is a picture of Jean being examined by the doctor in our living room.

Jean and the doctor

Yvonne has had the same problem with her feet that Jean has had, also with subsequent blisters from tight shoes. One foot is now almost back to normal, but the other one is still quite swollen. He determined that her heart is just fine, but that she has poor circulation in her one leg. Below is a picture of Yvonne talking to the doctor.

Yvonne and the doctor

I had cold-like symptoms develop this week (probably I took a chill the other night when the temperature dipped to near 85 degrees). He checked me out and confirmed what I had been suspecting - a sinus infection. My picture is below.

Rob and the doctor

Becka, who is apparently the picture of health, did not have to consult the doctor, and hence she will not be featured in this blog entry, though she can be seen sitting beside "invalid Jean". 🙂 The doctor has prescribed a different Chinese medication for each of us to take and will come by with the medications Friday evening. He said the ladies' stuff will not taste bad, but mine, unfortunately, will be disgusting. Great! But it *will* be nice to feel better. During the course of the consultations at which *everyone* was present, we learned far more about each other than we wanted to know through the doctor's probing questions.

After our nice consultations with the doctor, our friends treated us to a meal in a restaurant that features food from where they are from in the northern part of the country. Below you will find a picture of the things we enjoyed and a picture of Jean and Yvonne using Chinese silverware.

very tasty food from the North

Chinese silverware

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