As I was looking through my files, I found a list of one-liners that were sent to me by a long-time reader who has now been in heaven for several years. Some I've seen and maybe even posted before, but there were quite a few in the list that were new to me. So, in memory of P.D., I post this list of one-liners.
There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
The days of a digital watch are numbered.
Do not curse the darkness; check the warranty.
Today's subliminal message is
People who kill people give guns a bad name.
There is no future in time travel.
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.
Psychoceramics: the study of crackpots.
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be identified and fired!
If you want to know the value of money, try to borrow some.
Put on your seat belts. I want to try something.
It's always darkest just before you step on the cat.
Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Are you illiterate? Write to us for a free book.
The buck doesn't even slow down here.
When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.
California does have its faults.
Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!
You have two choices for dinner; take it or leave it.
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
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