Posts Tagged ‘rednecks’

With summer officially ending this week and the arrival of much-welcomed autumnal temperatures and colors, people living in colder climes have either already removed their boats from the water or will probably be doing so soon. One of my younger readers (Hi Ben!) asked me this past week to put out some more redneck pictures. With those two thoughts in mind, I decided this might be a good time to do a post on rednecks boats. In earlier posts I've shown examples of just how much ingenuity and imagination there is among rednecks.

As I searched online for better, clearer versions of some of the pictures I had in my files, I ran across a website that sells a special soap used as bait to catch catfish. (I didn't even know you could catch catfish with soap!) One thing in particular that I found amusing is that the company calls its own product Rednecks Catfish Bait Soap. Learn more about it by going to http://www.catfishbaitsoap.com

Of course, the arrival of cold weather does not keep some rednecks from doing things with boats. Here's a redneck ice fishing boat.

If you need to transport your boat to the water, you need a boat trailer. Here's an example of necessity's being "the mother of invention."

Once you get the boat to the water, you need to know how to use a ramp to get it from the trailer into the water.

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Do you recognize the woman in this picture? Some of you may know right away who she is; but for those who don't, here are a few clues. The picture was taken when she served as Grand Marshall in a parade in Lawrenceburg, Tennessee, in 2007, though her home state is Louisiana. She starred in one of the all-time longest-running TV series from 1962 to 1971, a series that made her one of the most popular television stars of the 1960s. Her name on the show is much better known than her real name. Her love for "critters" is not just a part she played in the series.

I'm sharing this because my wife saw in the paper recently that this woman will turn 76 (!) next month. If you haven't figured out yet who she is, I'll tell you — she's Donna Douglas, a.k.a. Elly May Clampett from The Beverly Hillbillies. Here's a picture of her when she starred in the series.

Why, oh why, don't they make good, clean shows like The Beverly Hillbillies any more?! I loved that show, and even though some of the humor was a little corny, I LOL'd so many times watching that show ... and reruns!

Recently several people have sent me redneck pictures that came to mind as I thought about The Beverly Hillbillies. Two of them are pictures readers took with their cell phones.

Here's the first of those "cell phone camera moments." The car proclaims the owner to be a redneck, not only because of the letter decals on the back window, but also the repair job on the bumper.

One of the great things about rednecks is their ability to "make do" with what they have, showing great ingenuity. During the summer months, especially here in the South, air conditioning in a vehicle is a blessing that is considered by some the only viable option. Here's a picture of one redneck's way of having much-needed AC in his car.

That picture with the window air conditioner and generator may seem far-fetched, but my son Mark was at a grocery store near his home recently and captured the following picture on his cell phone. Notice the placement of the AC unit and the heavy use of various materials, held together with duct tape and rope.

Who needs to spend big bucks to protect the car when you can have a car alarm system like the one below?

Summer is a great time to cook out. If you can't afford an expensive grill, just improvise. Here are several styles of redneck grills. Speaking of grocery stores....

I guess this grill wasn't needed as a decorative flower planter in the yard.

This redneck is planning to grill and serve "possum in the half shell."

Look carefully at that last picture — it looks as if it may "smoked" armadillo. (What's that in the critter's mouth?)

For those who prefer an open fire, here's a great idea for cooking hotdogs!

Summertime is when lots of baby "critters" make their appearance. Here are two little redneck girls excited about their new "kittens."

A lot of people can only dream of having a riding lawn mower. Here's one made by a creative redneck.

If the summer heat makes that one undesirable, here's a riding mower that would be a lot less work.

Summer is the best time to enjoy the races. Guess which driver this redneck fan is pulling for....

I'll bet other fans can't wait for cooler weather when that guy might put his shirt back on!

I have plans for sharing more redneck pictures in other thematic ways in future posts. If any of you would like to be my "reporters," keep your cell phone or digital camera handy, snap some pix, and send them my way!

Did you immediately recognize Elly May in that first picture? What are your favorite memories from The Beverly Hillbillies? Any comments on today's redneck pix?

quotation...

"Don't go for flashy excellence; just be competent." - Dr. Ted Miller, paraphrasing O. B. Hardison

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Rob

Some people are wise, and some are otherwise.

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What is a redneck? Comedian Jeff Foxworthy defines a "redneck" as someone with "a glorious lack of sophistication," stating "that we are all guilty of [it] at one time or another." I would say from my life's experiences that there are probably quite a few of us who are rednecks with an extremely thin veneer of culture or refinement.

I read several different ideas of where the term "redneck" originated, but it was first applied to poor or working class white people from Appalachia, then later to people in that group in the whole southern part of the United States. Eventually the usage has widened to refer to people as rednecks throughout the United States and Canada. I found that the term "bogan" is used in Australia and New Zealand, and I learned in France that the French frequently use the term "paysan" (peasant). Can any of you from other countries tell us your term for rednecks?

It seems to me that at least one aspect of redneckery is being a packrat – if you throw something away, you will immediately need it and wish you had held on to it. Most rednecks are probably just making do and getting by with what they have – something everyone may all end up having to do if our economy continues to decline. Many of the abundant redneck jokes poke fun at old cars in the yard, old appliances on the porch, etc. Snobs might not prefer to think of it this way, but could rednecks just be practicing a different form of the modern virtue of recycling?

My wife and I enjoy watching the Red Green Show, Saturday evenings on PBS. Red and his friends could easily be among those Canadian rednecks. Their inventive use of unlikely objects that had been packratted away along with their heavy use of duct tape shows great redneck ingenuity. Here's a picture from the show's website:

The use of large quantities of duct tape by Red Green and the others in the Possum Lodge is a practice is not restricted to just Canadian rednecks.

Here's a redneck moving van in the USA.

Here's a rear view of that "moving van" heading down the highway.

This past week someone sent me the following comic strip along this theme.

A redneck snowplow....

Some redneck body work...

A redneck doghouse...

A redneck mailbox...

Some redneck planters (American Standard?)...

A redneck fire alarm...

Rednecks do other amazing things with food as well. Here's some redneck seafood....

And the "pièce de résistance" – a redneck wedding cake...

I'll post more redneck pictures in the future.

quotation...

"Every time you change something, something has to change." - Becka Loach

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Rob

Q: What's the most popular redneck pick up line?
A: Hey, nice tooth!

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(The following is a note from Santa Claus.)

Dear y'all,

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.

Differences that have been noted:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC Cola, pork rinds, and a MoonPie on the mantle.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen" when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh has a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

9. Fun Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" and "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer." This year, songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. These song titles will be "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox" and "Grandma Got Run'd Over by a Reindeer."

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus

As I did my exhausting research for this post, I was surprised that is Bubba Claus almost as famous as his flannel shirttail cousin Santa Claus, with all sorts of Bubba Claus items out there. I found a Bubba Claus knife by Schrade, Bubba Claus albums and CD's, and even a Bubba Claus quilt.

This post seems to be the perfect opportunity to share pictures of an incredible redneck Christmas tree sent to me by several people.

And now the most amazing part - how beautiful a bunch of Mountain Dew cans can look...

This will be my only blog post this week. Next week I'll post on Monday evening again with some fresh family pictures since our whole little family will be together here for a few days. In the meantime, here's a picture of our grandson Drew whose mom helped him make his first snow angel in the heavy snow they got a few days ago.

Wherever your Christmas celebration is on the scale from redneck to elegant, may it be joyous! Here's a final greeting from Bubba Claus and his dawgs who will be visiting our (red)neck of the woods.

quotation...

"God goes after the ones religious people think are unlikely and saves them." - Dr. Drew Conley

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Rob

Snowflakes are one of the most fragile things in nature, but just look at what they can do when they stick together.

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Last week a teaching colleague who has a 4-year-old daughter and who is one of my friends on Facebook wrote on my Facebook wall, "Today at lunch, Kirsten said: There's that man that I love! I was pretty sure that I knew who she meant, but to be sure, I said: which man? She said: The one with the silver hair. "

In addition to giving me a good laugh, it totally made my day! Kirsten's mama further explained to me this morning that little Kirsten says her own hair is "silver," which made me even happier.

Thinking about silver hair, as I was looking through some stuff in my files, I found a version of a the story "I'm my own grandpa." I had heard the song once at the Wilds, and I decided to see what I could find out about it before posting it to my blog. It's really an interesting tale based on a real life story. Not quite as convoluted as that story is something from my own family - my uncle and his uncle (my great-uncle) married sisters. So then my uncle's sister-in-law was also his aunt, and his uncle was also his brother-in-law. The sisters were not only sisters, but also aunt and niece. (I should probably pass on redneck humor very carefully, considering my own family history!) Anyway, on to the blog post....

I'm My Own Grandpa

An article in a New England newspaper - "A Man His Own Grandfather," The Fitchburg Sentinel (Fitchburg, Mass.), 30 July 1877 - reported an interesting story about the suicide note of a man named William Harmen:

A man at Titusville, Pa., recently committed suicide in his horror at finding that he was his own grandfather. The way it was thus told in his dying statement: "I married a widow who had a grown-up daughter. My father visited our house very often, fell in love with my step-daughter and married her. So my father became my son-in-law, and my step-daughter my mother, because she was my father’s wife. Sometime afterward my wife had a son; he was my father’s brother-in-law, and my uncle for he was the brother of my stepmother. My father’s wife - i.e., my stepmother - had also a son; he was, of course, my brother, and in the meantime my grandchild, for he was the son of my daughter. My wife was my grandmother, because she was my mother’s mother. I was my wife’s husband and grandchild at the same time. And as the husband of a person’s grandmother is his grandfather, I am my own grandfather."

An article in Wikipedia, speaking of the song that comes from this story, affirms:

Although the song continues to mention that both the narrator's wife and daughter had children by the narrator and his father, respectively, the narrator actually becomes "his own grandpa" once his father marries the woman's daughter.

* The narrator marries the older woman. - This results in the woman's daughter becoming his stepdaughter.
* Subsequently, the narrator's father marries the older woman's daughter.
* The woman's daughter, being the new wife of the narrator's father, is now both his stepdaughter and his stepmother. Concurrently, the narrator's father, being his stepdaughter's husband, is also his stepson-in-law.
* The narrator's wife, being the mother of his stepmother, makes her both spouse and step-grandmother.
* The husband of the narrator's wife would then be the narrator's step-grandfather. Since the narrator is that person, he has managed to become his own (step-)grandfather.

I'm not quite sure I followed that, but....

An interesting history of this story and how it has resurfaced and evolved through the years, attributed to various sources - including Mark Twain - can be found at http://www.genealogymagazine.com/grandpa.html

If you'd like to hear the song (downloaded from YouTube) performed by Dennis Warner, you can do so below.

quotation...

"Humility is a low opinion of my own opinion." - Dr. Greg Mazak

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Rob

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

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