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Posts Tagged ‘senior citizens’

Sunrise, Sunset


picture of anti-aging cream

This week is a tough one for me. The other two teachers in our French department are in their final week as teachers. Both Dr. Bruce Byers and Mme Jackie Eaves will retire at the end of this school year. I wrote about that in a recent post called Changing Times in Teaching. If you missed that news, you can learn more in that post. As this school year ends I am also anticipating attending the 40th reunion of the students who were my first French 2 class the year I began teaching high school in 1973. They were the class of '75. It will be strange to see "my kids" as people in their upper 50's! I'm feeling slightly ancient right now.

Since it's often best to laugh about things that are uncomfortable and that you can't change, I thought I'd post several bits of humor about aging.

An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor who was able to fit him with a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and was told, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

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Ray had just reached his 150th birthday. Surrounded by reporters, he was asked, "Excuse me, sir, but how did you come to live to be 150?"

Ray answered, "It was easy. I just never argue with anyone."

One reporter shot back, "That's crazy! It had to be something else — diet, exercise, or something. Just not arguing won't keep you alive for 150 years!"

The old fella stared hard at the reporter for several seconds. Then he shrugged and said, "Hmm. Maybe you're right."
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How Old Are You?


I am posting this out of my usual schedule to try out the new e-mail notification of my blog posts. Feedburner has been working well for me for quite a while, but the past two weeks it has not sent out my blog posts by e-mail. The RSS works fine, but not the e-mails. To remedy this I am trying out a new plugin for my blog — MailChimp. I hope that this will solve the problem.

Since I hate to do a blog update, for the sole purpose of trying out MailChimp, I'll post several humorous things that have coincided in my life.

Kids Meal Senior Discount

My wife and I have discovered a new favorite place to eat out. It's Culver's. Fortunately it's far enough away that we can't eat there often ... if you know what I mean.... But one thing we've discovered is that their kids' meal is just the right size for us, and it includes a free scoop of their flavor of the day. To make it even better, they give us a senior discount too! So the two of us can eat there for less than a total of $12.

Also the other day a long-time friend and reader sent me a link to a site in Switzerland where you can find out how many days old you are. What an eye opener! As if I didn't feel old enough already, getting senior discounts and all.... 🙂
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Old Jokes


anti-aging cream

Do any of you jokesters ever hear the complaint that you tell the same old jokes all the time? Sometimes it may be because the jokester is getting a little older. Other times it may be because the joke perfectly fits the situation. And still other times, it may just be because the joke happens to be among the jokester's favorites.

Somehow it seems like the perfect time for today's blog post to be a compilation of some of my favorite jokes about old age. And yes, some of them are ones I have already posted on my blog ... although several were posted over 5 years ago. I guess if my readers remember the jokes from that long ago, they must be worth retelling.

On to some old jokes about old folks....

On their way to their vacation destination, an elderly couple stopped at a service station. The attendant came out and said, "Hi! Fill it up?" to which the old man replied, "Yes, please."

His wife asked, "What did he say?" and her husband yelled, "HE ASKED IF WE WANTED HIM TO FILL IT UP."

To pass the time during the fill up, the friendly attendant asked, "Where ya goin'?" to which the husband replied, "We're going to spend our vacation at Hilton Head, in our son's condo."

His wife asked, "What did he say?" and her husband yelled, "HE ASKED WHERE WE WERE GOING. I TOLD HIM TO HILTON HEAD."

The attendant then said, "You're in luck - the weather there is supposed to be perfect for the next two weeks.

His wife asked, "What did he say?" and her husband yelled, "HE SAID THE WEATHER WILL BE NICE."

The attendant then asked the man, "Where do you live when you're not on vacation?" to which the husband replied, "We live in Richmond, VA." The attendant said with surprise, "I know a woman from Richmond. She talks non-stop and drives her husband crazy!"

His wife asked, "What did he say?" and her husband yelled, "HE SAYS HE THINKS HE'S MET YOU BEFORE!"

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Here are the top ten games at oldsters' birthday parties:

1. Sag - You're It!
2. Hide and Go Sleep
3. Hide and Go Seek Your Own Easter Eggs (a variation on the previous game)
4. 20 Questions Shouted into Your Good Ear
5. Kick the Bucket
6. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse says Bend Over
7. Spin the Bottle of Liniment
8. Musical Recliners
9. Simon Says Something Incoherent
10. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
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A.A.A.D.D.


Three Sundays out of the last four I have gone to a local nursing home to lead the singing for the Sunday morning service there. It's been a bittersweet experience as I've seen some elderly people who were my colleagues in the past. It's a blessing to have fond memories of those people's lives of service, but it's also difficult to see the ravages of aging on their bodies and minds.

A current colleague who is younger than I, by the way, was telling me recently that she gets in the middle of doing something and then remembers she needs to do something else. She starts to do that and then forgets what she had been doing. I told her she must be in the early stages of A.A.A.D.D. When she didn't know what I was talking about, I just knew I had to post this on my blog this week.

There is a new diagnostic category is sweeping the county. It's called A.A.A.D.D. — Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. The following is a description of how it manifests itself:
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As Time Goes By


Time is so elusive! It's hard to believe it's already April, and one-fourth of 2012 is gone, never to return. Recently our family celebrated the one year anniversary of a very big day — the wedding of Nora and Topher and the birth of Ryan. If you weren't following my blog then, you can read about the day in this post from last April.

Regarding the passage of time, it's even more amazing how different life is today from how it was in my youth, back in the last millennium. I must carefully consider stories I tell my classes since the frame of reference of my students is different from mine. Today's iv is a fun look at some of those changes. Some of you younger readers may have to ask an older person to explain some of this humor to you, while others won't.

I'll start off with a cartoon.

What a difference a few years makes!

Then: Long hair
Now: Longing for hair

Then: Moving to California because it's cool
Now: Moving to California because it's warm

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
Now: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

Then: Hoping for a BMW
Now: Hoping for a BM

Then: Doctor, Mrs. Jones called and needs you to make a house call.
Now: Doctor, Mrs. Jones called and wants to know if you'll make a house call ... whatever that is.

Then: Going to a new, hip joint
Now: Getting a new hip joint
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