Several weeks ago my wife Becka and I celebrated our anniversary by spending an afternoon at the Western North Carolina Nature Center that features animals native to the Appalachians. We really enjoyed it and recommend it to others. Here are a few pictures from our visit….

They had two black bears - here’s one of them…

They had white-tailed deer…

… and turkeys…

One of the bobcats was way up in a tree. I was able to zoom in on him….

We were glad that there was thick glass between us and the wolves!

chickadee update…

Here’s what the wildlife in our back yard looks like as of this afternoon….

It’s absolutely amazing how much they have grown in just three days! You can look at the picture in the blog post before this one to see the difference.

In keeping with today’s wildlife theme, here are several humorous reports.

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated “Wash. Biol. Surv.” until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

“Dear Sirs:
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible.”

The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.

From note found posted on a trail in Colorado:

- BEAR WARNING -

The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the area. We advise that people wear noise producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. We also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of bear activity. People should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper.

quotation…

“Telling people the truth is more important than getting along with them. But be sure to tell the truth in love.” - Mike Knight

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Rob

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?

Today I’m posting a couple of short jokes about signs of the times…

During a terrible snowstorm one winter, many of the highway signs were totally covered with snow. The following spring, the states decide to raise all the signs twelve inches.

At a cost of six million dollars, each sign was equipped with a new pole, one foot longer than the old pole.

“That’s an outrageous price,” said a local farmer, “but I guess we’re lucky the state government handled it, instead of the federal government.”

“Why’s that?” his neighbor asked.

“Because,” the farmer answered, “knowin’ the federal government, they’d have decided to lower all the highways.”

***
The pastors of two local churches were standing by the side of the road, trying to be of service to their community by pounding a sign into the ground. It read as follows:

As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, “Would you religious nuts please just leave us alone?!”

Then from the curve up ahead, they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

The one pastor turned to the other pastor and asked, “Do you think maybe the sign should just say, ‘Bridge Out’?”

***
By the way, if you like funny signs, I have a lot of them on the main website at http://ivman.com/fp-signlist.html

quotation…

“Has anyone else noticed the nonexistence of a charitable organization known as ‘Lawyers Without Borders’?” - Ann Coulter

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Rob

“The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program.” - Ronald Reagan

This week our team captain for the Wellness Program sent us a cartoon that one of our teammates sent him. The comic strip is called “Close to home,” but in my way of thinking, it’s a little too close to home!

I have received or run across a lot of funny signs lately and thought this might be a good time for a blog post that was mainly pictures.

Here’s another cartoon … this one being related to the topic of today’s blog post…

Some signs give us warnings…

Some signs are meant to give good directions, but somehow fail to do so…

Some signs are hard to understand or to read…

And some signs just make you smile…

(We remember the following one from here in Greenville…)

I especially like the good reminder that the following sign gives…

quotation…

“Am I living as I shall wish I had lived when I come to die?” - C. H. Spurgeon

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Rob

How many people thought of the Post-it note before it was invented but just didn’t have anything to jot it down on?

In my last blog post I had a good time poking fun at some of the unsafe things men do at times. Since ivman is an equal opportunity tease, today’s post has a little fun at the expense of women. I’ve accumulated some pictures of what things would look like if women ruled the world. Some would quip, “Whaddya mean, IF women ruled the world?!?” Well, anyway, below are some very funny pictures. (The following is not a political statement on the scary prospect of a Hillary presidency. I’m not sure she’s “into” many of the feminine touches lampooned in this blog post, though she’s reputed to be quite the cookie baker.)

Bowling alleys would take on a different appearance.

Many tools, kits, and objects more often used by men would look quite different also.

Even the once familiar Swiss Army knife might be hard to recognize.

And hiking boots would be redesigned for nature loving women who prefer high heels.

If the male-dominated world of computers underwent a softening effect, things could also look very different.

And computers would actually have an “any key”

Prison life would be even cushier. (We have Martha Stewart to thank for this!)

Credit cards would take on new functions to meet a woman’s shopping needs.

Even popular tourist attractions might have to undergo modifications to make them more aesthetically pleasing.

Then, of course, bathrooms would be radically changed to suit a woman’s tastes.

Car shopping would be easier for some women, with fewer difficult choices.

But then other cars would look different and have great new features.

And on that same side of the car for the gals in England….

No consideration of a world run by women would be complete without a look at women and driving. A “women’s world” would include signs thoughtfully warning of traffic surveillance cameras.

There would be special “women only” parking spaces with appropriate modifications for their special needs.

Finally, a world ruled by women would have proper signage along our highways.

quotation…

“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?” - Linda Ellerbee

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Rob

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.” - Erma Bombeck

Let the comments begin….

Our friend Ruth with whom we have taught in Asia the last two summers has been here in Greenville on an extended leave to help her elderly parents and is now preparing to go back next week. One month before her scheduled departure, her university there informed her that since her passport would run out in 5 months, she would need to get a new one. We were all amazed that she was able to get her passport renewed and then get the necessary visa in it in 18 days! She loves the confirmation that Someone wants her there this school year. One evening this week our little team of teachers from last summer is taking her out for Asian food before her return next week.

Recently Ruth forwarded a list of ways you can know you’ve lived in China too long. My wife and I have lived there only two months, so we had not experienced all the things in her list, but we saw enough to know that nothing in the list is out of the realm of likelihood.

You Know You’ve Lived in China Too Long When…

You think a 30-year-old woman’s carrying a Hello Kitty lunch box is cute

All white people look the same to you

You like the smell of the bus

You no longer need tissues to blow your nose

You find Western toilets uncomfortable

You think it’s OK to throw rubbish, including old fridges, from your 18th-floor window

You believe that pressing the button 63 times will make the elevator move faster

You aren’t aware that one is supposed to pay for software

You are not surprised to see your tap water run dark brown

You think that a $7 shirt is a rip-off

You started to buy an XXXL T-shirt in a store when you returned home

You think it’s silly to buy a new bike when it’ll get stolen soon, and stolen bikes are half the price

You feel cheated if you don’t receive a full head and shoulder massage when getting a haircut

You blow your nose or spit on the restaurant floor (of course after making a loud hocking noise)

You no longer wait in line, but go immediately to the head of the queue (=the line)

You no longer wonder how someone who earns US $400.00 per month can drive a Mercedes

You regard it as just part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different

You accept the fact that you have to queue to get a number for the next queue

You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb

You honk your horn at people because they are in your way as you drive down the sidewalk

You have a pinky fingernail an inch long

You burp in any situation and don’t care

You have absolutely no sense of traffic rules

You start cutting off large vehicles on your bicycle

You go to a local shop in pajamas

You think - pollution, what pollution?

Someone doesn’t stare at you, and you wonder why

You wear out your vehicle’s horn before its brakes

Forks feel funny

Chinese remakes of Western songs sound better than the originals

You get homesick for real Chinese food when away from China

Your handshake is weakening by the day

You have compiled a 3-page list of weird English first names that Chinese people of your acquaintance have chosen for themselves

Your collection of business cards has outgrown your flat

The last time you visited your family, you gave each person your business card

You and a friend get on a bus, sit at opposite ends of the bus, and continue your conversation by yelling from one end to the other

You cannot say a number without making the appropriate hand sign

You start recognizing the Chinese songs on the radio and sing along to them with the taxi driver

You feel insulted when you enter a restaurant and only three greeters welcome you

Signs like the one below don’t look odd to you…

quotation…

“We have a low estimation of how much prayer can change our circumstances.” - Dr. Drew Conley

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Rob

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.