We’re in final exams here at BJU. Need I say more?

One part of exam week is assigning the final grades for each student for the semester. Some people think it’s a haphazard process - like throwing a set of papers down the stairs and assigning grades based on which step each paper lands. For my classes at least, it’s mainly mathematical, based on grades from homework, quizzes, projects, and tests. We even use rubrics (which I lovingly call “Rubric’s cubes”) for grading oral presentations and tests. Today’s iv is what is supposed to be the method used in one university in America.

Here is a list of the ways professors at one American university are said to grade their final exams:

Dept Of Statistics:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.

Dept Of Psychology:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

Dept Of History:
All students get the same grade they got last year.

Dept Of Philosophy:
What is a grade?

Law School:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A when they really deserve an F.

Dept Of Mathematics:
Grades are variable.

Dept Of Logic:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.

Dept Of Computer Science:
Random number generator determines grade, except in the year 2000, when no one was quite certain that would still work properly.

Music Department:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). Tone-deaf students fail.

Dept of Physical Education:
Everybody gets an A. (Many would join me in only *wishing* that were true!!!)

In my spare time, I’ve been reading online tips on how to have an easily readable blog. I found an excellent article you can read if you want to by clicking here - especially some of you other bloggers. I have found a blog theme that I think is really nice looking and easy to navigate. I’d like to know how my readers would grade the readability of how my blog currently looks.

chickadee update…

The chicks are looking like miniature adult birds now, and we’re almost a little surprised they’re still in the nest. Below is a picture of them this afternoon. To give you an idea of their size, the inside dimensions of the bird house are 4 inches by 4 inches.

Becka was pleased to see the first hummingbird of the year visit our hummingbird feeder this afternoon. (In case you can’t tell, we really enjoy watching birds.) Our other bird feeder has regular visits from yellow finches, Carolina wrens, cardinals, rosy finches, Carolina chickadees, tufted titmice, occasionally brown thrashers, bluebirds, crows, and of all things woodpeckers!

quotation…

“Eternal life comes with the expectation of holy living.” - Dr. Chuck Phelps

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

A recent news item caught my attention. Linda Ramirez-Sliwinski, one of Barack Hussein Obama’s elected delegates from the Chicago area to the Democratic National Convention was given a $75 ticket for “disorderly conduct,” which is defined as, “when a person does something that alarms or disturbs another.”

What did she do to deserve this ticket? She told some neighbor children who were climbing in a tree to quit playing in the tree like monkeys. She is reported to have said she “saw the kids playing in the tree and didn’t want them falling out of the tree and getting hurt.” She said she calls her own grandchildren “monkeys” and didn’t understand why anyone would object to her calling the children monkeys. The mother of one of the children did not see it that way, noting she and Ramirez-Sliwinski have clashed before. The mother called the police who gave Ramirez-Sliwinski the $75 fine.

There were reports that she was considering stepping down as a delegate, possibly at the request of Obama’s campaign. In fact the campaign announced yesterday that she was stepping down, but the latest articles I’ve read indicate that she still plans to be a delegate and still has an Obama sign in her front yard.

To me this story is yet another example of political correctness gone crazy. I think there are people out there who get up every morning and perch a chip perilously on their shoulder, in hopes that someone will knock it off as early in the day as possible so that they can be angry/upset/offended for as much of the day as possible.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe that we should always be careful in our word choices. No one should go out of his way to offend people - and some do just that, being as abrasive and controversial as possible. But people need to lighten up too and not seek to find cause for offense in stupid things. Of all things, being upset for calling kids monkeys! Will we have to rename “monkey bars” for fear of some nitwit taking offense?! Good grief!

But to be ticketed for it is beyond the pale! Do we still have freedom of speech in this nation? The thought of government fining someone for something like this would be unbelievable if it weren’t true. But it *is* true! Our people had better wake up to what political correctness (or political cleansing) is doing to our freedoms, before it’s too late!

In true, politically incorrect ivman fashion, I will try to relieve any tension caused by the preceding by gently lampooning it. In an increasingly politically correct world, we have new, more sensitive names and ways of saying just about everything. Here are some student-related PC expressions you may not have heard of:

No one fails a class anymore. He’s merely “passing impaired.”

You don’t have detention. You’re just one of the “exit delayed.”

Your room isn’t cluttered. It’s just “passage restrictive.”

A student isn’t lazy. She’s “energetically declined” or “motivationally dispossessed.”

A student isn’t hyperactive. He’s “serenity impaired.”

Your locker isn’t overflowing with junk, it’s just “closure prohibitive.”

Kids don’t get grounded anymore. They merely hit “social speed bumps.”

Your homework isn’t missing. It’s just having an “out-of-notebook experience.”

You’re not sleeping in class. You’re “rationing consciousness.”

You’re not late. You just have a “rescheduled arrival time.”

You’re not having a bad hair day. You’re suffering from “rebellious follicle syndrome.”

Your teacher isn’t bald. He’s “follicularly challenged and comb-free.”

A girl doesn’t have big hair. She is “overly aerosoled.”

You’re not doing poorly in class. You are “on a detour off the information highway” or are “cerebrally underactive.”

You don’t have smelly gym socks. You have “odor-retentive athletic footwear.”

A student is not obnoxious. He is “charismatically impeded.”

No one’s tall or short anymore. He’s “vertically enhanced” or vertically challenged.”

You’re not shy. You’re “conversationally selective.”

You don’t talk a lot. You’re just “abundantly verbal.”

You’re not able to carry a tune. You’re a “tonal underachiever.”

You’re not conceited. You’re “extremely aware of your best qualities.”

Your teacher is not old. He is “geriatrically advanced” or “chronologically gifted.” (I like that one!)

You weren’t passing notes in class. You were “participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations.”

It’s not called gossip anymore. It’s “the speedy transmission of near-factual information.”

You’re not being sent to the dean’s office. You’re “going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.”

One is no longer a class clown. He is either “a buffoonery overachiever” or is simply “humor appreciative.”

In a comment to the previous blog post about buzzwords, J.D. left a hilarious comment with a link to a site where you can download “buzzword bingo” for fun at that next meeting where buzzwords will be flying around.

quotation…

“If I were the devil, … I would convince the people that right and wrong are determined by a few who call themselves authorities and refer to their agenda as politically correct.” - Paul Harvey

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Rob

When at loss for the right word to say, why not try silence?

During the spring semester every year I teach French Composition. At times it’s hard enough to write well in English, let alone in French, n’est-ce pas?! Today’s iv is a list of analogies and/or comparisons that students have supposedly used in papers submitted in high school classes. (I checked with snopes.com and found nothing to indicate that these are bogus.)

Worst analogies found in papers by high school students:

(WARNING - Several of these are truly weird! Make sure you are in a place where you can laugh out loud if you need to.)

The situation had become topsy-turvy - like Christmas in the summer, if you’re in Australia.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

The information imbedded on the stolen computer chip was like an explosive so explosive it could explode, creating a massive explosion.

Her parting words lingered heavily inside me like last night’s Taco Bell.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

His face looked like an ice sculpture. Not one of those pretty ones in the middle of a cruise ship buffet, but the kind they do in a contest with a chain saw - and it had been out in the heat too long.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

A single drop of sweat slowly inched down Chad’s brow - a tiny, glistening Times Square New Year’s Eve Ball of desperation.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

He spoke with the wisdom that can come only from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and “Jeopardy” comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underwear in a dryer without Cling Free.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

The politician was gone, but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled.

***
My wife Becka and daughter Nora arrived home safe and sound Tuesday evening. The weather was beautiful, the roads clear, and the traffic not bad. Thanks to any of you who prayed for their safety. We’re all getting caught up and ready for Bible Conference next week.

quotation…

“There’s nothing I can achieve that won’t pale in comparison with God’s glory.” - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

May your troubles be like a redneck’s teeth - few and far between.

As a French teacher, I love language-related humor, but I try to post a good variety on my blog. Because of some of the news in the personal update, I thought I’d go language-related with today’s post.

The poem below has been attributed to several sources, as best as I can ascertain by doing web searches. One source says it came about as an exercise from the multi-national translation personnel at the NATO headquarters in Paris. According to some reports, the personnel maintained that English wasn’t so hard to learn, except that English pronunciation is a killer! And apparently they composed the poem to prove their point.

Another source says that a an English teacher in Holland required his students to learn by heart this poem he called “The Chaos.” The English teacher was named G. Nolst Trenité and lived in the city of Haarlem. Trenité wrote articles under the pen name Charivarious and a little booklet entitled “Drop Your English Accent,” in which the poem appeared.

Anyway, I’ve tried to cover the attribution bases, tending to believe that the latter might be the right one.

So now on to the iv…. Try reading even just a part of the poem aloud and see what happens. The poem highlights effectively (some would say extremly) some of the myriad incongruities of English spelling and pronunciation. If you’re unsure of the pronounciation of some words, you could go to merriam-webster.com and type the word in the search box.

It’s been said that after trying to read this poem aloud, one native French interpreter said he’d prefer to spend six months at hard labor than reading any six lines out loud!

Every language has its own difficulties as a foreign language that non-native speakers try to master. However, the English language is so notoriously difficult to learn that it’s amazing we manage to communicate at all, at least in writing, suffice it to say that English is tough stuff!

The Chaos

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear;
So I shall! Oh, hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, hear and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word.
Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter how it’s written).
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say - said, pay - paid, laid but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak,
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via
Recipe, pipe, studding - sail, choir;
Woven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.
Say, expecting fraud and trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,
Missiles, similes, reviles.
Wholly, holly, signal, signing,
Same, examining, but mining,
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far.
From desire - desirable and admirable from admire,
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,
Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,
Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.
Gertrude, German, wind and wind,
Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,
Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.
This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.
Have you ever yet endeavoured
To pronounce revered and severed,
Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,
Peter, petrol and patrol?
Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which exactly rhymes with khaki.
Discount, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward,
Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?
Right! Your pronunciation’s OK.
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Is your r correct in higher?
Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.
Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,
Buoyant, minute, but minute.
Say abscission with precision,
Now: position and transition;
Would it tally with my rhyme
If I mentioned paradigm?
Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,
But cease, crease, grease and greasy?
Cornice, nice, valise, revise,
Rabies, but lullabies.
Of such puzzling words as nauseous,
Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,
You’ll envelop lists, I hope,
In a linen envelope.
Would you like some more? You’ll have it!
Affidavit, David, davit.
To abjure, to perjure. Sheik
Does not sound like Czech but ache.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed but vowed.
Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover.
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice,
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, penal, and canal,
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,
Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit
Rhyme with “shirk it” and “beyond it”,
But it is not hard to tell
Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall.
Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor,
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
Has the a of drachm and hammer.
People push and rush to possess,
Desert, but desert, and address.
Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants
Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.
Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,
Cow, but Cowper, some and home.
“Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker”,
Quoth he, “than liqueur or liquor”,
Making, it is sad but true,
In bravado, much ado.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.
Arsenic, specific, scenic,
Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.
Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,
Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,
Make the latter rhyme with eagle.
Mind! Meandering but mean,
Valentine and magazine.
And I bet you, dear, a penny,
You say mani-(fold) like many,
Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,
Tier (one who ties), but tier.
Arch, archangel; pray, does erring
Rhyme with herring or with stirring?
Prison, bison, treasure trove,
Treason, hover, cover, cove,
Perseverance, severance. Ribald
Rhymes (but piebald doesn’t) with nibbled.
Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,
Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.
Don’t be down, my own, but rough it,
And distinguish buffet, buffet;
Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,
Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.
Say in sounds correct and sterling
Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.
Evil, devil, mezzotint,
Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)
Now you need not pay attention
To such sounds as I don’t mention,
Sounds like pause, pores, paws, and pours,
Rhyming with the pronoun yours;
Nor are proper names included,
Though I often heard, as you did,
Funny rhymes to unicorn,
Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.
No, my maiden, coy and comely,
I don’t want to speak of Cholmondeley.
No. Yet Froude compared with proud
Is no better than McLeod.
But mind trivial and vial,
Tripod, menial, denial,
Troll and trolley, realm and ream,
Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.
Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely
May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,
But you’re not supposed to say
Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.
Had this invalid invalid
Worthless documents? How pallid,
How uncouth he, couchant, looked,
When for Portsmouth I had booked!
Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,
Paramour, enamoured, flighty,
Episodes, antipodes,
Acquiesce, and obsequies.
Please don’t monkey with the geyser,
Don’t peel ‘taters with my razor,
Rather say in accents pure:
Nature, stature and mature.
Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,
Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,
Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,
Wan, sedan and artisan.
The th will surely trouble you
More than r, ch or w.
Say then these phonetic gems:
Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.
Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,
There are more but I forget ‘em -
Wait! I’ve got it: Anthony,
Lighten your anxiety.
The archaic word albeit
Does not rhyme with eight - you see it;
With and forthwith, one has voice,
One has not, you make your choice.
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger;
Then say: singer, ginger, linger.
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,
Hero, heron, query, very,
Parry, tarry fury, bury,
Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,
Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.
Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,
Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners
Holm you know, but noes, canoes,
Puisne, truism, use, to use?
Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual,
Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,
Put, nut, granite, and unite.
Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,
Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.
Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific;
Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,
Next omit, which differs from it
Bona fide, alibi
Gyrate, dowry and awry.
Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion, Rally with ally; yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.
Never guess - it is not safe,
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.
Starry, granary, canary,
Crevice, but device, and eyrie,
Face, but preface, then grimace,
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;
Ear, but earn; and ere and tear
Do not rhyme with here but heir.
Mind the o of off and often
Which may be pronounced as orphan,
With the sound of saw and sauce.

Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.
Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?
Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.
Respite, spite, consent, resent.
Liable, but Parliament.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,
Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.
A of valour, vapid vapour,
S of news (compare newspaper),
G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,
I of antichrist and grist,
Differ like diverse and divers,
Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.
Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,
Polish, Polish, poll and poll.
Pronunciation - think of Psyche! -
Is a paling, stout and spiky.
Won’t it make you lose your wits
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel
Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,
Islington, and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Don’t you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father?
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??
Hiccough has the sound of sup.
My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

***
This Saturday evening the Modern Language Department at BJU is sponsoring three language plays from the Middle Ages. I have had the joy and responsibility of preparing my cast of nine students to present Le Vilain mire - The Peasant Doctor. If anyone local would like to come see the German play, the Spanish play, and the French play, they will begin at 7:00 pm in the SAS Assembly Room. Even if you don’t know the languages, you might be pleasantly surprised by how much you understand.

Another bit of personal news is that it appears that my wife and I will not be going to Asia this summer to teach. Last fall when I contacted the Dean at the university where we’d taught two other summers, I was surprised to learn that some retired teachers from Mississippi had already contacted the Dean about teaching. We got an e-mail the other day indicating that those teachers are still planning to go. We are still willing to go if they don’t end up going, but the Dean said we could definitely come in 2009.

quotation…

“One of the most important things prayer changes is you.” - Dr. Tim Keesee

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Rob

“To do is to be.” — Plato
“To be is to do.” — Kant
“Dobe dobe do.” — Sinatra

Often my blog posts are related to something happening in our lives, and this one is no exception. Since Friday morning, I’ve been battling a head cold - something I haven’t done in a long time and something that’s making the rounds right now. During classes Friday, I was quite miserable, with a nose that had been replaced by a faucet. After dinner Friday evening, I went to bed at 6:30 and slept for 12 hours straight - something I never do! Our cats - Adelaide and Clementine - were a riot! Adelaide, whom we lovingly call “Florence Nightingale,” was curled up next to me the entire 12 hours! At 6:15 Saturday morning, Clementine started digging at the closet door to try to wake me up, and Adelaide started walking around on the bed, crying, and sticking her nose in my face - I guess to see if I were still breathing. I fell back asleep and immediately dreamed that I was staring at a computer, and an e-mail notify message popped up from our two cats, concerned about my having slept so long. I woke up laughing, which felt good. I slept away a lot of the weekend getting 31 hours of sleep totally! But I feel much better this morning to face a week of classes.

My dear wife has been so sweet this weekend. (Can you even imagine her being anything but sweet?!) She made a big pot of her wonderful cabbage soup to help speed my recovery. It made me think of something I’ve had in my files for a long time. I share that with you today.

Some years ago The Saturday Evening Post ran an article that was entitled “The Seven Ages of the Married Cold.” This article revealed the reactions of a husband to his wife’s colds during their first seven years of marriage. It’s a rather humorous look at a not-so-funny reality - the potential decline of a marriage, as seen through the common cold. I hope I do better than the husband in what you’re about to read!

The Seven Ages of the Married Cold

First Year: “Sugar dumpling, I’m really worried about my baby girl. You’ve got a bad sniffle and there’s no telling about these things with all this strep going around. I’m putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a general checkup and a good rest. I know the food’s lousy, but I’ll be bringing your meals in from Rossini’s. I’ve already got it all arranged with the floor superintendent.”

Second Year: “Listen darling, I don’t like the sound of that cough. I’ve called Doc Miller and asked him to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl, please, just for papa.”

Third Year: “Maybe you’d better lie down, honey; nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy. I’ll bring you something. Have you got any canned soup?”

Fourth Year: “Now look dear, be sensible. After you’ve fed the kids, washed the dishes, and finished the floors, you’d better lie down.”

Fifth year: “Why don’t take a couple of aspirin?”

Sixth year: “I wish you would just gargle something instead of sitting around all evening barking like a seal.”

Seventh year: “For Pete’s sake, stop sneezing! Are you trying to give me pneumonia?”

***
I found a great picture online somewhere during the Christmas break - the way one student dealt with the pertussis scare we had at BJU in early December. I hope none of my students come to class looking like this today, fearful of catchin my cold….

quotation…

“Magnifying God isn’t making Something small big. It’s focusing on Something that, from our perspective, seems small and seeing how big He is.” - Dr. Drew Conley

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Rob

If a man caught a cold in the middle of a forest where no one could hear him, would he still make whining sounds?