ivman's blague

You would have to have your head totally in the sand not to know that the Olympics are going on. We’ve followed the first week and a half far more than we thought we would, but the remaining events really aren’t our faves.

Undoubtedly the dominant name has been Michael Phelps. The mainstream media has proclaimed him “the greatest athlete of all time” and the debate will rage on until the next “greatest athete of all time” comes along. Michael has definitely achieved wonderful feats in a very tough sport and seems himself to have a good attitude of humility, but there are still many who are asking, “Well, what about __ (fill in the name of their favorite sports figure)?! Is Michael really a greater athlete than __?!”

I found a terrific comic online this morning that I want to share:

I’ve put out a new poll in the sidebar about what my readers think about Michael Phelps’ being the greatest athlete of all time.

For today’s iv, I’m sharing two stories - one funny and one thought-provoking - about some runners, Olympic or not.

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house an older woman was looking out her kitchen window, watching the two men as they checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I saw two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”

In the late 1990s at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with determination to run the race to the finish and win. All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy cry, slowed down, and looked back. Then they all turned around and went back. Every one of them.

One girl with Down’s Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said, “This will make it better.” Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line.

Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes. People who were there are still telling the story. Why? Because deep down we know this one thing: What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. More important than winning for ourselves in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course.

A friend told me that, upon reading my last post about becoming empty-nesters, he thought it sounded like I was saying, “Well, life’s all over … now we can die.” I laughed and told him, “Far from it! Let me tell you about Friday of last week….” My wife and I decided to take the day off and “head for the hills” for the day to do some of our favorite things - a last hurrah before my teacherly duties began this week. We headed to Flat Rock, NC, to a shop called The Wrinkled Egg. That day we weren’t interested in the shop as much as in the new barbecue place right behind it. It’s called Hubba-Hubba, and let me tell you - HUBBA! HUBBA! We definitely found a new favorite - or as my wife Becka put it, “yet another reason to go to Flat Rock!” We picked up a cranberry-apricot scone at the bakery in the back of the Wrinkled Egg for dessert/mid-afternoon snack and headed for Carl Sandburg’s house. We didn’t want to tour the house on this trip - we just wanted to see how this year’s baby goats were doing. We took the hike to where the goats are kept and enjoyed petting them. Here’s a picture of Connemara (the Sandburg’s house) and a picture of Becka with several of the kids.

After that we headed to a quilting shop Becka really likes in Hendersonville. What a nice place - they have an area with rocking chairs and magazines for husbands! I had actually brought along my own entertainment a Sudoku book to pass the time pleasantly, warding off dementia while Becka touched every bit of fabric in the place (of which there is a lot!) After that we went to Lyda farms to get some produce and some early apples. From there we headed off to the Pisgah National Forest near Brevard, NC, to go to Sliding Rock. It was really crowded, and so I had to wait in line for about a half hour before I could slide down the rock into the 55 degree water in the pool at the bottom. Below is a 10 second video clip of Sliding Rock (viewable on the blog itself, not in e-mail or blog readers).

Here’s a picture of me ready to begin my trip down the rock…

The line was even longer by that time and we had some other things we wanted to do, so I changed into warm, dry clothes, and away we went!

On the way back to Brevard, we stopped at the ranger station across the road from the Davidson River Campground. They have done a lot of renovation on the ranger station, and there’s a lot for children to enjoy inside. One thing we enjoyed outside the ranger station was watching hummingbirds visit their two feeders. After that, we went shopping at four different stores in Brevard (and bought something in each) before having dinner at the Pisgah Fish Camp. While eating dinner we decided to drive back to the ranger station to take some pictures of the hummingbirds - something we hadn’t thought to do earlier.

There were even more hummingbirds when we went back than there had been earlier. And the hummingbirds actually flew right up close to us to check us out! Here’s a little video footage of their activity (viewable on the blog itself, not in e-mail or blog readers). Sorry for the talking in the background - Becka’s on the phone with one of our daughters telling her all about it.

After that, we drove back to Greenville. Now does that sound like two people whose lives are all done and are now ready to die?!

I can’t figure out a way to work up a poll question to get at the following - have you decided to and actually gone ahead and tried out any of the activities and/or places that I’ve written about in the past several years on my blog? If so, which one/s? Since it’s impossible to structure as a multiple choice poll question, please just tell about it in the comments to this post.

quotation…

“What you live for and base your decisions on has the greatest effect on your children.” - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have become really good friends.

Tags: Olympics, shopping, sports, Sudoku, travel

Two weeks of classes, then exam week. We’re all in need of prayer right now, students and teachers alike.

I have received or spotted several funny pictures or comic strips lately that I thought I’d put together as a blog post with few words. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this post is worth 7,000 words.

For some of you old-timers who remember the old black and white TV series with Jackie Gleason called “The Honeymooners”….

(For the sake of you “young things”… Ralph Kramden always said to his wife Alice, “One of these days … one of these days … POW, right in the kisser! Bang, zoom, straight to the moon!”)

In case you cannot read the note above, it says, “Please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished. Some of us have O.C.D. and leftover time drives us crazy. Thanks!”

Here’s a comic strip in honor of April 15 - the Ides of April….

How can fellow employees ever compete with the “Employee of the Month” pictured below?

Here’s a clever ad….

Is it a bug or a feature?

Someone spotted a scene too good not to capture on camera….

quotation…

“Discontent is the penalty we must pay for being ungrateful for what we have.” - unknown

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Hunt for the good points in other people. Remember, they have to do the same in your case.

Tags: cars, funny pix, police, Sudoku, taxes, TV

On the cusp of another academic year, I thought I’d share some math that might make more sense than the math we all learn in school….

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS MATH

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY MATH

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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This is Rob, the ivman, again.

One of my favorite forms of math lately is doing Sudoku puzzles. Here’s a recent Pluggers that I found amusing.

Sometime recently I ran across a picture of a gift idea for that Sudoku fan in your life who has everything.

Since this post is about relationships, here are several relational things from this past weekend.

My wife Becka and I just had an extremely enjoyable weekend away from home before the new school year starts up for the faculty and staff this week. One of Becka’s college roommates has been wanting us to get together with her and her husband, and we finally found a weekend that worked for us all. We had such a good time talking and laughing with Cathy and David and were utterly spoiled by their gracious hospitality at their home in the Raleigh, NC area, a place we’d never visited before. We all agreed that we’re not going to let so much time go by before our next reunion, hopefully at our house next time so we can return the favor. Below is a picture of Cathy, David, and Becka.

Another nice part of the weekend was being able to attend the wedding of one of my students who just graduated. Below is a picture of Becka and me with Ethan and Sarah.

quotation…

“Whoever wins the next election is supposed to win. God sets up and pulls down kings and rulers.” - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

If the shortest distance between two points is a line, why does waiting in one take so long?

Tags: funny pix, math and science, school, shopping, students, Sudoku

I’m getting to the age where “seniors” seem much younger than they used to! In fact, with the retirements and passing away of more and more of the “older faculty” here at BJU, a colleague and I were discussing the other day the fact that we are quickly becoming the “older faculty” ourselves! In many ways, I don’t feel like I’m as old as I am, but then in other ways, my body and mind remind me of my age, with no denial possible. When I went to my campus PO box today, I had even received the latest edition of TCS (Today’s Christian Senior magazine). That *had* to be some kind of mistake!

I’ve heard that a good way to keep your mind active and to help ward off dementia is to do crossword puzzles. Almost every night before going to sleep I do either a crossword puzzle or a Sudoku puzzle. I can’t really tell if it’s doing any good, but … uhhh … what was I going to say next? Oh yeah, I recently received a test for dementia that came, as best as I can tell, from England. I some of you might want to see how you do on it.

Test for Dementia … not just for SENIORS anymore! Give it a try. I hope it’s not later than you think!

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of your wits.

The spaces below are so that you don’t see the answers until you’ve thought of your answer yourself.

SCROLL SLOWLY to give yourself time to think of the answer before seeing it.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?
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Answer: Bread. If you said “toast,” give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk.” What do cows drink?
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Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk,” don’t attempt the next question. Your brain is too stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Dick and Jane. However, if you said “water”, proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
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Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said “green bricks,” why are you still reading these???
If you said “glass,” go on to Question 4..

4. It’s twenty-five years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany). Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can land and the plane crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or “no man’s land”?
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Answer: You don’t bury survivors. If you picked any of the three options, you really should stop here. If you said, “You don’t bury survivors,” proceed to the next question.

5. No calculators for this one, please - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What is the name of the bus driver?
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Answer: Good grief! Don’t you remember your own name?!? Reread the first line - the driver is YOU! Maybe you should consider retirement? From what I hear from retirees, retirement’s not bad at all. Read on….

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And They Ask Why People Like Retirement!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who refuses to retire?
Answer: LUNATIC!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic, or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do retirees do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday, Nothing. Saturday and Sunday, they rest up from the week!

***
Actually, I know many retirees who are anything but inactive, as joked about the Q&A above. Two retirees went with my wife and me to teach in Hainan last summer, and they’re eager to do it again! We’re all hoping we can go again in the summer 2008. If we ever get to retire, my wife and I would like to be like many retirees whose lives are full of service and ministry to others. I want retirement to allow me to serve the Lord in ways I am not able to currently with the restrictions that an academic calendar place upon you.

quotation…

“To God the past and the future are alike. His name is ‘I am.’” - Dr. Ed Panosian, retired history professor from BJU who recently spoke in chapel on “The Providence of God in History”

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob Loach

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Tags: aging, senior citizens, Sudoku