ivman's blague rotating header image loading ... please wait....

Posts Tagged ‘t-shirts’

Why Wear a Plain T-Shirt?

picture of plain t-shirt

With the official end of fall later this week, I thought I'd post something that would be a farewell to summer. With the hot weather of summer, one of people's favorite things to wear out and about is t-shirts. And with t-shirts come some great t-shirt sayings!

Here are some more humorous things you could wear on a t-shirt wear instead of sporting just a plain one.

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

I recycle — I wore this shirt yesterday

What part of Eelymosynary Ratiocination do you not understand?

Voted class of 2057's most likely to travel back in time

I wish the buck stopped here — I could use a few

I cannot be cloned without the express written permission of Major League Baseball

I'm donating my body to science fiction

(seen on a 3-year-old) My mom calls me No! No! But my grandma calls Me Sweetie
Click here to continue reading this post ⇒

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

Medical Faux Pas

Well, I think I've given blood for the second and final time in my life. A week ago this past Saturday I decided to try giving blood again when the Blood Connection had its bloodmobile at our church for a blood drive. I had given blood several years back and just made it through my unit when I started to have a vasovagal episode. It didn't come as a huge surprise since I had had problems when visiting people in the hospital who were receiving fluids or transfusions. After that incident I decided that maybe I shouldn't give blood again. This latest time, though, I thought maybe the same problem would not recur. However it did. I was able to finish giving my unit of blood and didn't pass out completely, but I felt terrible for the last third of the unit as and for a while afterwards.

The next day, though, I noticed that I had a rash and hives all around the site where they had drawn the blood. The following day it was creeping towards my wrist and my underarm, and the same thing was appearing on my other forearm. Below is a picture of my left arm.

picture of my hives

I took Benadryl before going to bed that night to see if that would calm my allergic reaction. It did basically nothing but make me half-loopy all day Tuesday. I went to see my doctor Wednesday, and we figured out that I was having a reaction to the chlorhexidine gluconate they had used to clean the site where the needle would go in. The nurse had chlorhexidine gluconate on her gloves and touched all over on my left arm during the whole process. There were apparently traces of the substance on the other arm of the chair from previous donors - hence the rash on my right forearm where it had touched the arm of the chair. I'm on Prednisone for one week (nasty stuff!) The rash is finally going away and bothering me much less.

picture of a t-shirt

What's kind of funny is that in two of my French classes in recent weeks we've been talking about various sports in French, one of which was rugby. I told my students that I had seen a t-shirt in France that said, "donnez du sang - jouez au rugby" (that is, give blood - play rugby). We all chuckled about it since rugby is such a rough game. I'm thankful that some are able to give blood with no ill effects, but after my experiences recently, I think the next time I decide to try giving blood, I'll go out for rugby instead!

Yesterday we had some guests for lunch. One is our niece, a nurse in a local ER, and another is a senior nursing major at BJU, currently doing her clinicals. They were talking about how surprised they are at how unfeelingly sometimes medical personnel talk among themselves about their work. It made me think of something in my files that I could post, wanting very much to have something to laugh about concerning medical things.

Things you don't want to hear during surgery

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

Someone call the janitor--we're going to need a mop.

Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!

Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie.

Oh no! I *know* I had my wristwatch on when I came in here!

Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?

Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

What's this doing here?

I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

Better save that. We might need it for an autopsy.

That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?

I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

You did WHAT to our car?!

Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean, right?

Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

It's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!

Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!


I'd love to hear about the experiences, both good and bad, of those who've given blood or received blood.


"Many brave men have died for countries that don't exist any more." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

When the doctor got a bad cut, the nurse said, "Suture self."

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

Are You a Motivator or a Demotivator?

A few weeks ago I did a post about motivation that generated some good discussion. People shared what has motivated them and what they've done to motivate others.

A number of people have told me how much enjoyed the posters in that blog post. Just recently I have learned about a tool at despair.com that allows you to upload a picture and give it a title and motivational text of your own. Here are some that I generated myself, using pictures I had in my files and their online utility:

picture of one of my posters

picture of one of my posters

picture of one of my posters

picture of one of my posters

picture of one of my posters

Here's one I made by combining a picture I found somewhere online with a t-shirt slogan that a reader added in a comment to a blog post of mine back in July:

picture of one of my posters

Before I give the link to this online utility, though, I'd like to caution my readers to use it with great discretion. It would be extremely easy to be a source of huge discouragement to someone by thoughtlessly wedding image and text that could really hurt someone, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Words are very powerful things. The Bible tells us, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue…. (Proverbs 18:21) Quite literally through our words we can cause others to want to live life to the fullest or even to want to die. That's a sobering concept for someone like me whose life is filled with the dispensing of words - in the classroom, in personal interactions, and on this blog.

With that said, I'll now give you the link – http://diy.despair.com/motivator.php

Here's a fun one that I did with a picture of Grandma and me with our grandson Drew:

picture of one of my posters

He turned 18 months old on Tuesday of this week, and we really do miss him a lot. We have a rendez-vous planned with Meg, Jim, and Drew in Cincinnati one weekend this fall, and we can't wait to see their whole family! Our daughter Nora will be flying up this weekend to spend the next week with them to help Megan celebrate her 30th birthday on September 17. If you'd like to send Megan birthday greetings and/or bits of wisdom as she reaches this milestone (millstone?), you may do it through the comments on this post.

Congratulations to a large number of my readers who correctly solved Einstein's puzzle! His assertion that only 2% of people could solve was made without knowing the caliber of readers of ivman's blague! You all have far exceeded his figures! Bravo!


"Proverbs presents godliness in working clothes." - unknown

=^..^= =^..^=

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook


That's an odd title, isn't it? Why oddments? Oddments is a word that means remnants, leftovers, odds and ends, hodgepodge, etc. You get the idea. So... why oddments? What I'm posting today is little bits of stuff, none of which would make a real blog post, but they're things just too good not to share! Mainly it's stuff that I've received or found that has something to do with previous posts on my blog. I'll put a link to the various posts that the oddments are related to. And some of it is simply interesting little oddments I'd like to share, not related to much of anything. Emphasis, I guess, on odd....

A while back I had a post called 10,000 words - 10 really crazy pictures, each worth 1,000 words. I have since learned that one of the pictures actually could/should have been part of a later blog post dangerous hike and freebies. Here's the picture...

outhouse on the Mt. Huashan hike

Here's another outhouse that could have been part of the post nice bathroom humor

double decker outhouse

That's something we could all keep in mind as we go into the elections this fall!

Here's a picture that could have been part of the post sign language The picture is of a martial arts school.

martial arts school signs

I ran across a neat picture that I think could make a great header picture for my blog (if it weren't the wrong size and proportion, let alone all the potential copyright issues). Just think, instead of having an ancient gargoyle looking over the skyline of Paris, I could have Ratatouille looking at it from a different angle....

Ratatouille looking over Paris

My wife found a great recipe online for the ratatouille that Ratatouille made in that animated film. We love this dish and have declared it her recipe find of 2008! If you'd like to try it out, you can find it at http://smittenkitchen.com/2007/07/rat-a-too-ee-for-you-ee

I tried something new in the garden this year - Thai Red-Seeded Long Beans. They're like the green beans we've eaten in China and like the ones in many Chinese buffets here in the USA. The name "long beans" is not an exaggeration! Here's a picture of me measuring several against a yardstick. I don't know if you can make it out in the picture, but the longer of the two beans measures 30 inches - 6 inches longer than they're supposed to be! Just a couple of beans is enough for a meal for the two of us!

30 inch long beans

Recently I've found a couple of neat "toys" online. Anyone who reads my blog finds out pretty quickly that I am a word person. I love puns and other forms of wordplay. Well, here are several visual forms of wordplay. In both them them you can tweak the font and colors to your liking.

The first one is called Wordle. You can create your own "wordle" in several ways - either by pasting in "a bunch of text" (as they say) or by entering a URL. I chose the second, entering the URL of my most recent blog post last Thursday. Here's the wordle of that post...

wordle of my post called English must be difficult

Another word toy I ran across is a text animator called textanim. Here's my little creation from that site...

animated text of ivman's blague

Several weeks ago I had a post called t-shirt slogans. Someone sent me a great video clip on how to fold a t-shirt in seconds. It's in Japanese (I think), but if you watch it a few times, you should be able to do it too. My wife has mastered the technique and says, "This has revolutionized my recreational laundry!" Click in the square below to start the video.

Now I think you'll agree that my calling this blog post "oddments" (with a heavy emphasis on odd) was appropriate. I'm looking forward to some really odd comments now. 😀


"Most problems in our lives go back to a false idea of who God is." - Dr. Chris Barney

=^..^= =^..^=

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

T-Shirt Slogans

My wife Becka and I have been talking about going to a Greenville Drive baseball game for a long time, but we just haven't done it. After finding out in choir practice at church Sunday afternoon that my young friend Dan was going to be singing the national anthem at Monday night's game, Becka and I talked about it half seriously in spite of being crazy busy. At the last minute Monday afternoon we decided we'd go to that game. (Such spontaneity, huh?!) Dan did a great job! (I knew he would because you know what the person who sits beside you in choir sounds like.)

There were a lot of things we enjoyed about our evening and a few things we could have lived nicely without, but all in all, it was a fun evening! One of the fun things was reading the slogans on the t-shirts people were wearing. Some of the t-shirts were among the things we could live nicely without, but some were clever and hilarious.

Here are some funny slogans from t-shirts. I also found some pictures of t-shirts online and add them to the mix.

fantasy baseball T

Volunteering: It doesn't pay

Camping is in-tents!

South Korea's got Seoul

You Have the Right to Remain Silent, So Please Shut Up!

I'd Kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

faux paw T

I'm Not Cynical - Just Experienced

Shin: A Device for Finding Furniture in the Dark

Out of My Mind - Will Be Back Shortly

If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off (on the back of a biker's t-shirt)

goodbye cruel world T

I Used to Be Schizophrenic, but We're OK Now

Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen

First National Bank of Dad - Sorry, Closed

In Dog Years, I'm Dead

Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It'll Be a Great Trade

Kenya dig it T

It's Hard to Be Nostalgic When You Can't Remember Anything

Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off

I'm Going to Graduate on Time, No Matter How Long It Takes

Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well

Your Village Called - Their Idiot Is Missing

lousy T

No, I'm Not on Steroids, But Thanks for Asking

I Am a Bomb Technician; If You See Me Running, You Should Keep Up

For Every Action, There Is an Equal and Opposite Government Program

I Don't Suffer From Insanity - I Enjoy Every Minute of It

Missouri T

Nice Perfume - Must You Marinate In It?

I Hate Golf, I Hate Golf, I Hate Golf, NICE SHOT, I Love Golf...

Nobody Knows I'm Elvis

Those Who Live by the Sword Get Shot by Those Who Don't

outstanding T

You Have the Right to Remain Silent - Anything You Say Will Be Misquoted, Then Used Against You

Actually, I Am a Rocket Scientist!

Blessed Are They Who Can Laugh at Themselves, for They Shall Never Cease to Be Amused

My Dog Can Lick Anyone

Prague T

I Got to Vietnam Before McDonald's Did

I'd Quit This Job But I Need the Sleep

The Secret: Find an Age You Like and Stick to It!

I Am Not a Pack Rat - I Am a Collector

Today Was a Total Waste of Makeup

Wikipedia T

I'm Your Father, Not an ATM

I Got This Shirt When I Turned 40. I HATE This Shirt!

Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups

Yes, It's Lonely at the Top - But I Eat a Lot Better Than You

I Chose the Road Less Traveled - Now Where in the World Am I?

Buddah T

The Weather Is Here - Wish You Were Beautiful!

And You're Telling Me This Because...

Don't Make Me Put My Hand on My Hip

I Can Fix Anything - Where's the Duct Tape?

I'm Only Wearing Black Until They Find Something Darker

My Cat Kneads Me

dyslexia T

Dad Knows a Lot, But Grandpa Knows EVERYTHING!

I'm Dressed and Out of Bed - What More Do You Want?

You're Just Jealous Because the Little Voices Are Talking to Me

Now I Know Why Some Animals Eat Their Young!

earthquakes T

You Non-Conformists Are All Alike

If All the World's a Stage, I Want Better Lighting

Our Lady of Perpetual Mood Swings

Below is a t-shirt slogan that I wanted to display larger so that the detail is more visible.

accuracy T

I never quite know what to wear when an invitation to an event calls for "dressy casual." This t-shirt seems to be just the thing for such an occasion....

dressy casual T

Our daughter Nora loves t-shirts. Here's a picture of her and her friend Beth in front of their world view classroom map of Europe. They have t-shirts to go with the theme. (For any readers who don't know her, Nora's the one on the right.)

Nora and Beth

Have you seen any great t-shirt slogans lately? Please add a comment and tell us what you saw.


"Today we worship the earth and deny its Creator exists." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow!

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook