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Posts Tagged ‘Valentines’

Do We See Eye to Eye?


Since Valentine's Day is next week, I thought I'd do a post with some different aspects on how men and women see things differently.

On Monday of this week, both my second semester French students and second semester German students had a test that included the names of items of clothing and of colors. I enjoyed sharing with them a picture I had seen a while back on how women and men perceive colors differently. I don't endorse everything on the site this came from, but this one was worth sharing.

Color Names for Girls and Guys

I also saw another picture that brought a smile to my face.

HowTheySeeIt

Now on to three jokes that highlight how males and females don't always see eye to eye.

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Three Different Trios


picture of the Three Stooges

Today for Valentine's Day, I'm posting three short jokes about the relationships between men and women. In one way or another, three people are involved in each of the jokes, hence the idea of trios in the title. Trios don't get much more different than the one on the right.

One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money for some special projects. He asked the people to consider putting a little more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most could pick out three hymns that morning. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in the offering.

He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly-looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front.

Slowly she made her way up the aisle. He told her how wonderful it was that she had given so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked out over the congregation, pointed, and said, "I'll take him and him and him!"

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How to get people to stop bugging you about getting married....
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Adult Ed Classes


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Many adults enjoy taking evening and weekend classes to continue learning, to pursue special interests, or to fulfill requirements for their work. Enjoyment, of course, may depend on the reason/s for taking the classes and the mix of individuals present. With Valentine's Day this next weekend I thought I would share some classes I have heard about — one list for men only and one list for women only.
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Kids on Love


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Everyone has his own perspective on things. The description of this blog right under the blog name reads "one French professor’s humorous and serious perspectives on life…." While I definitely share my perspectives on life, I'm very interested in what others think too – that's why I invite people to make comments on my blog.

Of all the perspectives out there, children have some of the best things to say about many issues of life, some of which they don't fully understand and others that they understand surprisingly well. Today's instant vacation is some thoughts kids have about love. I don't know the source of these – obviously someone who is around children a lot.

Kids' thoughts on love

WHAT IS LOVE?
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's Love."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." Andrew, age 6

"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell ... that's why perfume and deodorant is so popular." Mae, age 9

ON THE ROLE OF BEAUTY AND HANDSOMENESS IN LOVE
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me, I'm handsome as anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." Brian, age 7

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8

CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." Gavin, age 8

"They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle someday and do the holy matchimony thing." John, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich. Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. Curt, age 6

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
"Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs ... and don't worry if their parents are right there." Manuel, age 8

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." Alonzo, age 9

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF ADULTS EATING DINNER IN A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold ... other people care more about their food." Bart, age 9

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that's on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are - on fire." Christine, age 9

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." Dave, age 8

"Don't forget your wife's name..that will mess up the love." Erin, age 8

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE
"Love will find you. Even if you hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." Dave, age 8

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding the fourth grade hard enough." Regina, age 10

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. Derrick, age 8

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? Kelvin, age 9

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. Ricky, age 10

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Do you have any quotations on this subject from kids in your life?

quotation...

"The problem with man is not the lack of evidence, but the suppression of evidence." - Dr. Ravi Zacharias

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."


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Earth to Mars! … Earth to Venus!…


picture of planets

In his book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, John Gray asserts that women complain about problems because they want their problems to be acknowledged, while men complain about problems because they are seeking solutions.

In anticipation of Valentine's Day next week, I'm posting a classic by Dave Barry that highlights Gray's assertion. I laugh every time I read this!

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.

He asks her out for dinner, she accepts, and they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to a concert, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and without really thinking, she says it aloud, "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car.

To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Wow. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward ... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a whole lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: ... so that means it was ... let's see ... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means ... lemme check the odometer ... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed – even before I sensed it – that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the rats.

And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. Why, those ....

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" says Roger, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have ... I feel so . ." (She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Roger.

picture of knight on white horse

"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.

"No!" says Roger, glad finally to know the correct answer.

"It's just that ... It's that I ... I need some time," Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time," says Elaine.

"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Roger," she says.

"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her to her home. After he leaves, she throws herself on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn; whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechs he's never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:

"Say, Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

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Do you think this is a pretty accurate picture of the relationship between most men and women you know, or is your experience a lot different from this?

quotation...

"The labor of self-love is a heavy one indeed. Think whether much of your sorrow has not arisen from someone speaking slightingly of you. As long as you set yourself up as a little god to which you must be loyal, how can you hope to find inward peace?" - A.W. Tozer

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it!

picture of earth


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