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Posts Tagged ‘Valentines’

Our Little Valentine


We received some pictures yesterday that were screaming out to be shared. Here's one of them...


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Emergency Valentine Info


Here's a little information for you men out there who might be panicking right now, or who perhaps should be panicking...

For any of you guys out there who have already bought something you shouldn't have or who haven't yet had the opportunity to purchase something for your Valentine, here's a list - a baker's dozen - of things you should definitely not give her:

1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.

2. Any clothing item with the words "push-up" or "slim-down" on the label.

3. Any food item with the words "diet", "light", or "high fiber" on the label.

4. A skillet (especially cast iron) - voice of experience here (details unavailable at a later date)

5. Flowers from a hospital gift shop - or worse, from a mortuary.

6. Poetry, no matter how heartfelt, that starts out "There was once a girl from Nantucket..."

7. Anything you have ever given another woman, including your mother.

8. Any household appliance, power tool, or other item from the harder side of Sears.

9. A vacuum cleaner, no matter how nice.

10. A gift certificate.

11. Cash.

12. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart, even if you didn't.

13. An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"

It might be fun to read people's "worst ever Valentine's present." Comment away!

quotation...

"Sometimes what people call Christian liberty is just Christian stupidity." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Some things are loved because they are valuable; others are valuable because they are loved.


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Happy Valentine’s Day!


With Valentine's Day one week away, I thought I'd post some fun things about the relationships between men and women.

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard full of mules and and donkeys, the husband broke the silence by asking a bit sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Iraq several years before the war, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

She returned to Iraq recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.

She approached one of the women for an explanation.

"This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"

The Iraqi woman replied, "Land mines."

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A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.

She thought about this for a while and then told her husband, "Women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say," to which he replied, "What?"

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A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK, you released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the fourth time this has happened this month, and I'm getting a little sick of all these wishes, so you can forget about three -- you only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete ... of how much steel! No, I'm sorry, you'll have to think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally he said, "My wife always says that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So I wish that I could understand women ... know how they feel and what they're thinking when they give us the silent treatment ... know why they're crying ... know what they really want when they say 'nothing' ... know how to make them truly happy...."

The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"

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New Seat Belt Law in the USA

This regulation becomes effective July 1, 2008, in all states and will soon to be law in all Canadian Provinces.

The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.

Correct installation is illustrated below....

Please pass on to family and friends.
THIS MAY HELP SAVE A LIFE!

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One of my projects over the Christmas break was painting our dining room. The time I had after the holidays was insufficient, and the project has gone into the beginning of this semester. After this past Saturday's hanging of the window treatment my wife had made and getting the new ceiling light in place, all that is left now is painting the baseboards. Phew! Anyway, here's a picture of the almost completed room....

Here's a close-up of Becka's window treatment....

special request...

One of our campus sons (Tim) from the mid-eighties here at BJU has kept in touch with us through the years since he graduated. (It's kind of scary that Tim's son could be our campus son in not very many years! Yikes - our first campus grandson!) Well, anyway, yesterday Tim asked me in an e-mail if I would put a link on my blog to a survey he's doing as part of the research for a book he is writing.

If you would be so kind as to take this anonymous survey, I would really appreciate your helping "our son" in this way. There are only ten questions and it will take you very little time to finish it. You can get to the survey by clicking here.

quotation...

"Lord, give me firmness without hardness, steadfastness without dogmatism, love without weakness." - Jim Elliot

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they do make great ancestors!


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Hoosier Valentine?


My wife and I splurged this year for Valentine's Day. We've been looking for a Hoosier cabinet for over a year, as mentioned in a recent iv about auctions. Well, Sunday a man from our church who is an antique dealer and who knew we'd been looking for a Hoosier told us that he had seen one in nice condition and at a very good price in another antique shop here in town. We went out Monday to check it out, bought it, and brought it home that day as our Valentine's gift to each other. Here's a picture of it in our kitchen:

picture of our Hoosier cabinet

If you want to learn a little more about Hoosier cabinets, you can click on the word Hoosier anywhere it appears in the text of this iv. Ours is made by the company mentioned from New Castle, Indiana.

Today's instant vacation is some miscellaneous humor about love and marriage, in honor of Valentine's Day.

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the chuppa (wedding canopy) and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front row responded with ripples of laughter. Even the rabbi smiled broadly. The groom watched his bride nervously.

As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

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Little Mary was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, "Why did the lady change her mind?"

Her mother asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another one."

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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother explained, keeping it simple.

The child thought for a moment and said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

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Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, "We've been married twenty-five years, and every night my husband has complained about the food. Not one night goes by without him complaining about the food."

The other woman said, "That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?"

The first one said, "Why should I object if he doesn't like his own cooking?"

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A grandmother overheard 5-year-old Christy "playing wedding." The wedding vows went like this:

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be held against you. You have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

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A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."

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Happy Valentine's Day to all who celebrate it!

quotation...

"We serve God directly, but we also serve Him by serving others." - Dr. M. Bruce McAllister

=^..^= =^..^=
With much love to all,
Rob

Courtship is like looking at the beautiful photos in a seed catalog. Marriage is what actually comes up in your garden.


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Vive la Différence!


For today's instant vacation I'd like to highlight some of the delightful differences between women and men. I thought if some of you are working on Valentine's Day programs, I should send some stuff early. After all, February begins already next week!

I certainly don't agree with everything said below, but then, I didn't write it.

Some comparisons of men and women...

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head, and Useless.

DINING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob, and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22. 50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

MATURITY
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults.

Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

HANDWRITING
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch.

Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

GROCERIES
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things.

A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and an almost empty milk bottle. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.

A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

LAUNDRY
Women do laundry every couple of days.

A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about fifteen years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul, and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

SOCKS
Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweat socks.

Women wear strange socks. Socks that are cut way below the ankles, that have pictures of clouds, that have a big fuzzy ball on the back.

MIDLIFE
When a woman reaches midlife, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes vary with the individual.

Midlife in a man provokes a uniform reaction - he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.

THE TELEPHONE
Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to get short messages to other people.

A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

DIRECTIONS
If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions.

Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, Looks like I've found a new way to get there." and, "I know I'm in the general neighborhood. I recognize that 7-11 store."

TOYS
Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.

Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and silly and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's. Car phones. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that perform various tasks on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 "D" batteries to operate.

PLANTS
A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation.

The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.

CAMERAS
Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for a state-of-the-art camera and take photography classes.

Women purchase disposable cameras. Of course, women often end up taking better pictures.

GARAGES
Women use garages to park their cars and store their lawnmowers.

Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in garages, they watch TV in garages, and they build useless lopsided benches in garages.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail, etc.

A man will dress up for weddings or funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

CHILDREN
Women seem to be able to remember every little detail of each child's life - the first tooth, doctor's appointments, school pick-up times, food preferences, etc.

Some men are only aware that there seems to be an increasing number of short people in the house.

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Sunday morning we learned of the passing of another former member of the administration, Luena Barker, who had passed away following a massive stroke. Here's the information we received by email yesterday on campus: "Please pray for the family and friends of Miss Luena Barker, '50 grad and former dean of women, who passed away this past weekend. The funeral service will be Wednesday at 1 p.m. at the Braun-Everiss-Wagley Funeral Home (1501 W. Maumee St., Adrian, Mich.). Viewings will be Tuesday from 2 to 4 p.m. and 6 to 8 p.m. and Wednesday at 12 p.m." I've copied Miss Barker's obituary from the Greenville News and put it on my website at http://ivman.com/barker.html for those of you who would like to read it.

quotation...

"Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing." - anonymous (probably by the speaker's wise decision to remain so....)

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.


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