ivman's blague

Is there a liberal bias in today’s mainstream media (MSM) in America? I have firmly believed for a long time that our nation’s mainstream media is slanted to the left, but in recent months their liberal bias is undeniable by any honest person.

If there had been TV news and newspapers in Bible times, one would need very little imagination to come up with what would have been some of their headlines if they’d been written by the likes of today’s MSM with their propensity for distortion, spin, and sensationalistic hype, using emotionally-charged words.

If Biblical headlines were written by today’s liberal media…

On Red Sea crossing:
WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed

On David vs. Goliath:
HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock

On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:
FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed

On the birth of Christ:
HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple

On feeding the 5,000:
LAY PREACHER STEALS CHILD’S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior

On healing the 10 lepers:
LOCAL DOCTOR’S PRACTICE RUINED
Faith Healer Preys on Terminally Ill

On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:
MADMAN’S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer Faces Bankruptcy After Loss of Pigs

On raising Lazarus from the dead:
ITINERANT PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Heirs Upset as Reading of Will Delayed

(from another news outlet)
On raising Lazarus from the dead:
SOCIAL SECURITY PAYMENTS WITHHELD
FBI Investigates Suspected Identity Theft

On the miracle at the wedding in Cana
VISITING PREACHER ACCUSED OF MOONSHINING
Police Unable to Locate Still

I know some people for whom “if it’s in print, it must be true.” Here’s a picture of one of the all-time classic headline bloopers.

In recent weeks especially, the media’s handling of Sarah Palin has caused many more people to see this issue more clearly. Here at ivman’s blague we like to provide a bit of balance. During World War II and beyond, Rosie the Riveter has been a cultural icon, recognizing the essential role of women in the war effort. Here’s the readily recognized picture of Rosie:

Every since John McCain’s announcement and presentation of his running mate, Sarah Palin, the media’s attention and intense scrutiny has been riveted on Palin. This past week someone sent me a great rework of the classic poster of Rosie to highlight a new cultural icon…

Listen to and read very carefully the MSM’s coverage of Sarah Palin. Their absolute hatred of this woman is so thinly veiled that you can see it pulsing and writhing below the surface.

Here’s a great Kevin Tuma cartoon I’ve had in my files for a long time. It clearly shows the tenets of the “faith” of today’s liberals.

Do you see any of those things coming through in today’s “news reporting?”

If your sole news sources are the mainstream media, I strongly suggest that you check out some other news sources to see a different angle on what you’re hearing or, even more, to read news that the MSM purposely chooses not to report. The latter is very telling - it’s the news you’re not being allowed to hear by the MSM. Who knows what you might think if you heard it?!

Here are a few links to alternative news sources:

NewsMax.com

WorldNetDaily.com

CNSNews.com

The DrudgeReport

I’ve put a new poll question in the sidebar of the blog about how you get your news.

I’ll end this post with something about which it’s impossible for me personally to be unbiased - our grandson Drew. Our daughter Nora is up at Meg and Jim’s all this week. Here are a couple of pictures she posted on her Facebook. As he ate some ice cream, Drew said one of his new favorite words - NICE (which he pronounces “ni”).

quotation…

“Belief affects behavior, and behavior reflects belief.” - Dr. M. Bruce McAllister

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Rob

Make headlines … use a corduroy pillow.

Tags: Bible, bloopers, rants, TV, women

Yesterday 9rules posted the list of sites newly accepted into their network of blogs. To use the latest media buzzword, ivman’s blague has been vetted! (For those who, like me, have been wondering what in the world that means, vet = to appraise, verify, or check for accuracy, authenticity, validity, etc.)

A while back I randomly found 9rules online and tried to figure out what exactly it was. Here’s what 9rules has to say about themselves — “9rules is a place where members and readers can connect, build relationships, and learn new things.”

9rules started in 2003 with a set of 9 rules:

1. Love what you do.
2. Never stop learning.
3. Form works with function.
4. Simple is beautiful.
5. Work hard, play hard.
6. You get what you pay for.
7. When you talk, we listen.
8. Must constantly improve.
9. Respect your inspiration.

Since I knew I could abide by those rules, I clicked on the link “How Do I Join” and submitted my blog for their review. And now my blog has been accepted into their community. I’m vetted! (I’m trying to use that word as often as the media is this week - particularly in connection with Sarah Palin, but I know I’m failing miserably, not wanting to use it in every other sentence…).

I’m truly amazed to be included in a group of blogs with, as the 9rules header puts it, “The best content from the independent web.” One of the benefits to my blog is exposure to a very large audience. I’m pleased that more people will find out that my blog is a source for good, clean humor. Some of my readers may also find some blogs in the 9rules community that are of interest or use to them; however I hasten to add that there will certainly be some blogs that are not at all to their liking — caveat lector!

In honor of this momentous event, I am publishing “The Rules” - both the women’s version and the men’s version. I have boiled each of the lists down to just 9 rules.

The Rules (from the female perspective)

1. The Female always makes The Rules. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification … by the Female.

2. No Male can possibly know all The Rules. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.

3. The Female is never wrong. If it appears that the Female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong, for which the Male must immediately apologize.

4. The Female may change her mind at any time. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the Female.

5. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. The Male, however, must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

6. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know what’s on her mind or whether she wants him to be angry or upset. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

7. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in undesirable consequences. (Uh-oh … I’m toast!)

8. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #3.

9. The Female always gets the last word. The Male may get the last word, only if it’s “Yes, Dear.”

The Rules (from the male perspective)

(You will notice that all The Rules are numbered “one” — they are all of equal importance.)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about your leaving it down.

1. Men = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Concerning communication: Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Ask for exactly what you want. Let’s clarify that: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Furthermore, “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. If we ask you what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We assume you’re telling the truth. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. For example, if you think you’re fat, you probably are. So don’t ask us.

1. Concerning problems and projects: Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, it would be best for you to do it yourself.

1. Concerning what we say: Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Concerning what you wear: You have enough clothes and you have too many shoes. Most men own three pairs of shoes – tops. What makes you think we would be any good at choosing which pair, out of forty, would look good with your dress? When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Concerning how we see things: Men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what taupe is, let alone that there are shades of taupe! Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. Concerning what we do and don’t do: If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. We do not remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar and remind us frequently beforehand. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. Crying is blackmail.

Now who said that we men are not communicators?! Look at the length of our Rules!

Please share your thoughts in the comments, and also vote in the new poll in the sidebar.

quotation…

“It’s not just our prayers and our hymns that declare the glory of God, but it’s also our work that declares His glory.” - Dr. Bryan Smith

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Rob

Is there an exception to the rule that states, “There is an exception to every rule”?

Tags: buzzwords, men, women

Well, wedding season is already in full swing. Since we are in a university context, we are invited to many weddings. This past week we had two weddings - one Tuesday evening where I sang in a duet, and one Friday afternoon - the wedding of a teaching colleague.

We’re excited for all these young couples as they begin their lives together, but we’re also saddened to learn of some young couples who are working through marital problems. I believe that most if not all problems in marriage have their root in selfishness on the part of one or both spouses. I think some of the problems stem from unrealisitic expectations - expecting that any one human can be your source of happiness.

Today’s iv is a light-hearted look at this issue.

The Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch … you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman excitedly goes to the Husband Store to find herself the perfect husband….

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, “I should probably stop here!” But she feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and reads the sign:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, my goodness!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on up to the sixth floor where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that some women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

The Wife Store

There is actually also a Wife Store, right across the street from the Husband Store. It works the same way as the Husband Store - it also has 6 floors, you can enter only once, and there is only one direction to go.

The doors read:

Floor 1 - These women are beautiful.

Floor 2 - These women are beautiful and have money.

What is on the other floors, nobody knows. No man has ever gone past the second floor!

Megan and Drew arrived safe and sound shortly after noon on Saturday. Drew did very well on his first flight. We decided to surprise Nora by celebrating her birthday a month and a half early since we wouldn’t all be together on her actual birthday. That’s about the only way we could ever surprise her. Here she is blowing out the candles on her keylime cheesecake….

Of course Becka enjoyed having our three kids and our grandson here for Mother’s Day. Here’s a picture of our little guy on our kitchen floor this morning. I’m sure there will be more pictures to share later this week.

The house wrens have been busily filling the bird house with sticks. Here’s what things looked like inside the house this morning….

Here’s what this bit of “prime real estate” looks like from the outside…

Who says there’s a housing crisis?!?

quotation…

“There are five Gospels: Matthew Mark, Luke, John, and the Christian, and some people will never read the first four.” - Irish evangelist Gypsy Smith

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Rob

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Tags: birds, men, shopping, weddings and marriage, women

Here’s a little information for you men out there who might be panicking right now, or who perhaps should be panicking…

For any of you guys out there who have already bought something you shouldn’t have or who haven’t yet had the opportunity to purchase something for your Valentine, here’s a list - a baker’s dozen - of things you should definitely not give her:

1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.

2. Any clothing item with the words “push-up” or “slim-down” on the label.

3. Any food item with the words “diet”, “light”, or “high fiber” on the label.

4. A skillet (especially cast iron) - voice of experience here (details unavailable at a later date)

5. Flowers from a hospital gift shop - or worse, from a mortuary.

6. Poetry, no matter how heartfelt, that starts out “There was once a girl from Nantucket…”

7. Anything you have ever given another woman, including your mother.

8. Any household appliance, power tool, or other item from the harder side of Sears.

9. A vacuum cleaner, no matter how nice.

10. A gift certificate.

11. Cash.

12. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart, even if you didn’t.

13. An apologetic look and the words “That was today?”

It might be fun to read people’s “worst ever Valentine’s present.” Comment away!

quotation…

“Sometimes what people call Christian liberty is just Christian stupidity.” - Dr. Drew Conley

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Rob

Some things are loved because they are valuable; others are valuable because they are loved.

Tags: holidays, men, Valentines, women

With Valentine’s Day one week away, I thought I’d post some fun things about the relationships between men and women.

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard full of mules and and donkeys, the husband broke the silence by asking a bit sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”

“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

***
A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Iraq several years before the war, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

She returned to Iraq recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.

She approached one of the women for an explanation.

“This is marvelous,” said the journalist. “What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?”

The Iraqi woman replied, “Land mines.”

***
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.

She thought about this for a while and then told her husband, “Women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say,” to which he replied, “What?”

***
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and out popped a genie. The genie said, “OK, you released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the fourth time this has happened this month, and I’m getting a little sick of all these wishes, so you can forget about three — you only get one wish!” The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I’m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?”

The genie laughed and said, “That’s impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete … of how much steel! No, I’m sorry, you’ll have to think of another wish.”

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally he said, “My wife always says that I don’t care and that I’m insensitive. So I wish that I could understand women … know how they feel and what they’re thinking when they give us the silent treatment … know why they’re crying … know what they really want when they say ‘nothing’ … know how to make them truly happy….”

The genie said, “You want that bridge with two lanes or four?”

***
New Seat Belt Law in the USA

This regulation becomes effective July 1, 2008, in all states and will soon to be law in all Canadian Provinces.

The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.

Correct installation is illustrated below….

Please pass on to family and friends.
THIS MAY HELP SAVE A LIFE!

***
One of my projects over the Christmas break was painting our dining room. The time I had after the holidays was insufficient, and the project has gone into the beginning of this semester. After this past Saturday’s hanging of the window treatment my wife had made and getting the new ceiling light in place, all that is left now is painting the baseboards. Phew! Anyway, here’s a picture of the almost completed room….

Here’s a close-up of Becka’s window treatment….

special request…

One of our campus sons (Tim) from the mid-eighties here at BJU has kept in touch with us through the years since he graduated. (It’s kind of scary that Tim’s son could be our campus son in not very many years! Yikes - our first campus grandson!) Well, anyway, yesterday Tim asked me in an e-mail if I would put a link on my blog to a survey he’s doing as part of the research for a book he is writing.

If you would be so kind as to take this anonymous survey, I would really appreciate your helping “our son” in this way. There are only ten questions and it will take you very little time to finish it. You can get to the survey by clicking here.

quotation…

“Lord, give me firmness without hardness, steadfastness without dogmatism, love without weakness.” - Jim Elliot

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Rob

Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they do make great ancestors!

Tags: holidays, home improvements, men, Valentines, weddings and marriage, women