Posts Tagged ‘work’

Are you good at guessing a person's work just by his or her appearance or manner? Some of you might be old enough to remember the old TV show What's My Line? where a panel of four people asked yes and no questions to try to determine the line (occupation) of contestants. My young mind always wondered what "the line" was of several of the panelists, namely Arlene Francis and Dorothy Kilgallen. All I knew about them was their participation on that game show.

In real life, it's an interesting challenge to try to figure out the line of work of people we see. Clothing is sometimes helpful, but not always. Remember when people wore surgical scrubs, not because of their work, but because scrubs were the rage in casual fashion? Our dentist dresses in a T-shirt and jeans in the office, and has done so for years. Frequently dress and other externals are totally irrelevant.

With hunting season just around the corner in some parts of the country, I'm posting a humor classic on determining a person's profession by how he or she hunts an elephant.

How to Tell a Person's Profession by the Method Used to Hunt an Elephant

Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant and catching one of whatever is left. Experienced mathematicians will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step one as a subordinate exercise.

Professors of mathematics will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students.

Theoretical mathematicians catch elephants in a cage by building a cage, going inside, closing the door and — defining the outside as inside.
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Summer jobs are a reality for many students and teachers. Summers have found me doing a wide variety jobs, some better than others, from working on an assembly line in a factory to writing French textbooks. Eleven summers have included short-term missions trips to France and to China. This is my ninth summer as a PC tech at IT. My job takes me to places on campus that many people don't even know exist. It's been fun to be able to meet so many people and to put names and faces together, along with workplaces.

When we work on people's computers, we are careful to respect their workspace and personal belongings. Since my work involves working on computers, though, I can't help but notice the things taped to them — Bible verses, sayings, pictures, cartoons, articles, you name it. Today's iv is several things that I've seen taped to computers on campus and enjoyed, either because they made me think or made me laugh.
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What is utopia? According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary the word utopia means 1. an imaginary and indefinitely remote place, 2. often capitalized, a place of ideal perfection especially in laws, government, and social conditions, or 3. an impractical scheme for social improvement. Etymology: imaginary and ideal country in Utopia (1516) by Sir Thomas More, from Greek ou not, no + topos place. I think it's safe to say that all people long for a perfect place where all is just and harmonious, but we are continually frustrated. As nice as some places are, no place is perfect. There's no perfect home, no perfect workplace, and even no perfect church. (If you find it, do not join it — you will ruin it!)

Today's instant vacation centers on workplace conditions in the past. The following notice, dated 1852, was supposedly pinned to the door of a cupboard in an office building due to be demolished in London.

• Godliness, cleanliness and punctuality are the necessities of a good business.

• On the recommendation of the Governor of this colony, this firm has reduced the hours of work, and the clerical staff will now only have to be present between the hours of 7am and 6pm on weekdays. The Sabbath is for worship, but should any man-of-war or other vessel require victualling, the clerical staff will work on the Sabbath.

• Daily prayers will be held each morning in the main office. The clerical staff will be present.

• Clothing must be of a sober nature. The clerical staff will not disport themselves in raiment or bright colours, nor will they wear hose unless in good repair.
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Do you remember a milkman bringing milk in glass bottles to your home? Milkmen were still doing that during my childhood in Fostoria, Ohio, the town where my wife and I grew up. My parents did not get our milk through the milkman, but my wife's parents did. She has vivid memories of going out to pet his horse and of the cardboard tops being pushed off milk bottles that had frozen on the doorstep.

Something I do remember was having a milk break during the morning in early elementary school. The milk came in little glass bottles and cost us two or three cents a day.

Here's a picture of such a milkman's cart of that era:

What I'm posting today is supposed to be notes left for milkmen in England, where milk is still being delivered to homes. I did some checking online to see if milkmen still deliver milk in England. Here is an excerpt of what I found at icons.org/uk

The early morning chink-chink of the milkman or woman and the hum of the electric float is declining in 21st-century England though – despite efforts to extend the range of products on offer to include eggs, bread, juice and more. Despite rumours to the contrary, there is no threat to UK milk deliveries from the European Union, but there might just be one from lack of domestic interest.

Notes left for milkmen in England

"Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."
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Our family members don't fly very often, but when we do, we assume that routine maintenance is being done and that issues reported by the flight crew are attended to right away. The first summer of our married life, I worked for United, cleaning the insides of commercial airplanes at the Detroit Metro Airport. I was surprised to be scolded one evening for attempting to tighten a screw on the back of a passenger seat in the cabin. My co-worker told me that if anyone from the union saw me do that, I would be in deep, dark trouble. I was to report the loose screw instead. Valuable lesson learned, without an official reprimand.

After my wife's recent flights to and from Detroit to see family there, I ran across something in my files that I knew I'd want to share with my readers, especially since so many will be traveling next week at Thanksgiving and then next month for Christmas. Below is an explanation of the title of today's blog post, followed by some squawks and replies.

A "squawk" is a report submitted by a pilot, indicating that a plane has a problem and/or needs maintenance of some sort. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. It sounds as if all the loose screws are not on passenger seats in the cabin. You've gotta love those witty maintenance crew members!

Before getting to the humor, here's an electronic version of a squawk log:

Squawk: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Reply: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
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