I received a humorous e-mail yesterday that I thought had potential as a blog post. I would hate to be the car owner … once I was done laughing about the prank.

The Ultimate Post-It Note Office Prank?

It definitely raises the bar! Somewhere there’s a very unhappy office manager with nothing left in the annual ’supplies’ budget .

How would you like to walk to your car and find this?

The poll on my blog about whether to keep the picture at the top is still in the sidebar and some have voted. I like my blog either way, but I would really like to know what people think since I want the blog to be as appealing as possible to the readers - one of the main reasons my blog exists.

Also with this new tool in place, I’m open to suggestions for future poll questions.

My wife and I are certainly glad it’s Friday - we’re working on a special project for our church, are pretty tired, and ask for your prayers. I will be able to explain better once it’s over.

Here are a couple of recent pictures of our grandson Drew….

house wren update…

As best as I can determine, the baby birds have died and disappeared. We had several days in a row where the daytime high temperatures were near or at 100 degrees in the last week - unseasonably high temps, to say the least. The little bird house is shaded at no time during the day at all, and I guess the little birdies just didn’t survive it.

quotation…

“I serve a living God, and He can get a hold of me any time He wants.” - Dr. Drew Conley

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Rob

How many people thought of the Post-it note before it was invented but just didn’t have anything to jot it down on?

This past school year was my 35th year of teaching, and I still love teaching and students. This blog post is a reposting of something I sent out exactly five years and one day ago, at the conclusion of my 30th year of teaching. I can think of so many people in my past whose influence on me continues - several of them are reading this right now, and many who have passed away but who, in a sense, live on in their students. I’m sure many of you can think back to a teacher who made a huge impact on your life.

What does a teacher make?

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, “What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?”

He went on to tell the other dinner guests that he thought it was true what they say about teachers - “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”

To corroborate his statements, he said to another guest, “You’re a teacher, Susan. What do you make?”

Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness, replied, “You want to know what I make?”

“I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I can make a C+ feel like the Medal of Honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face if the student did not do his or her very best.”

“I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence.”

“I can make parents tremble in fear when I call home.”

“You want to know what I make?”

“I make kids wonder.”

“I make them question.”

“I make them think critically.”

“I make them apologize and mean it.”

“I make them write.”

“I make them read, read, read.”

“I make them spell “definitely and beautiful” over and over again, until they will never misspell either one of those words again.”

“I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in English.”

“I make them experience music and art and the joy in performance, so their lives are rich, full of kindness and culture, and they take pride in themselves and their accomplishments.”

“I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart … and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you pay them no attention.”

“You want to know what I make? - I make a difference.”

“Now, what do you make?”

quotation…

“Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.” - Chinese proverb

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Rob

2 teach is
2 touch lives
4 ever

This past weekend a colleague and I went to a conference for foreign language teachers - the SCOLT/SCFLTA Conference - in Myrtle Beach, SC. We were able to be there only for the Saturday morning sessions. After experiencing the quality of those sessions, we wished we had attended all three days of the conference. It was far better than the national ACTFL Conference we had attended the fall of 2006!

I’m fluent in French, can hold my own in German, and can handle some situations in Spanish and Chinese. However, one of the things I found difficult at the conference was trying to understand a language that I’m not very good at - educational buzzwords. This is the impetus for today’s iv….

Buzzwords

Buzzwords, expressions like scenario, 24/7, soft money, proactive, venue, wiki, hit the ground running, win-win, affluenza, dotcom, fatcat, gridlock, etc., both amuse me and drive me crazy (crazier?)! People in management, geeks, politicians, the media, and even educators love to use buzzwords.

According to Wikipedia, “a buzzword (also known as a fashion word or vogue word) is an idiom, often a neologism, commonly used in managerial, technical, administrative, and sometimes political environments. Though apparently ubiquitous in these environments, the words often have unclear meanings.”

Some would readily point out that the word buzzword itself is a buzzword, so named because of the desire to employ the words that create a special effect, or buzz, in another’s mind.

In the business world, it seems to be important that reports contain lots of buzzwords. What the reports actually say isn’t nearly as important as the ability to show that you are on the cutting edge in the use of the current buzzwords.

In 1968, Newsweek magazine published a short, but humorous article, How to Win at Wordsmanship. After years of hacking through etymological thickets at the U.S. Public Health Service, a (then) 63-year-old official named Philip Broughton had hit upon a sure-fire method for converting frustration into fulfillment, at least jargonwise. Euphemistically called the Systematic Buzz Phrase Projector, Broughton’s system employs a lexicon of 30 carefully chosen “buzzwords.”

The procedure is simple: Think of any three-digit number. Then select the corresponding buzzword from each column.

For instance, number 257 produces “systematized logistical projection,” a phrase that can be dropped into virtually any report with a sincere ring of decisive, knowledgeable authority. No one will have the remotest idea of what you’re talking about, but the important thing is that they are not about to admit it!

BUZZWORDS FOR MANAGERS (or wannabe managers)

After my experience at the teachers’ conference this past weekend, I wondered if the same could be done for educational jargon, which borders on buzzwords. Educators are often guilty of using “edspeak” - a language spoken by those inside the education profession that is often not comprehensible to people outside the profession. The term is modeled on George Orwell’s “newspeak” from his novel 1984. This professional jargon is also known as educationese, eduspeak, edubabble, and pedagogese. The following could also be helpful to anyone writing a grant proposal.

The table below enables you to create most of a sentence, giving you a verb, and adjective, and a noun. You just have to flesh it out. For instance, 239 would yield “benchmark cross-curricular methodologies”. You could then craft that into a powerfully cryptic sentence such as, “This assessment tool would allow us to benchmark our present cross-curricular methodologies.” Scary, huh?!

BUZZWORDS FOR EDUCATORS

I got the words used above by picking my favorites from a long list of edspeak words at http://www.sciencegeek.net/lingo.html It’s a fun site to visit - there’s a button at the top that you can keep hitting to generate random phrases from their long lists.

If you’d like to see a long list of other buzzwords, each one linked to its definition, go to http://www.investopedia.com/categories/buzzwords.asp

You can have more fun with a random buzzword generator at http://www.1728.com/buzzword.htm

quotation…

“I think we educators are unusually prone to use jargon, and of all people we ought to be the clearest in our language.” - Dr. Ruth Steele, at the time she made this statement, director of the state Education Department and a former English teacher

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Rob

Remember: Today’s buzzword could very well be tomorrow’s drivel.

On the evening news tonight we saw a report about more and more people falling asleep at work. They said that there’s an epidemic of Americans not getting sufficient sleep at night. Some “experts” are recommending not only that Americans try to get more sleep, but also that businesses give their employees a little nap break to help them with this problem. Our wellness program at the university seems to be helping many of us with issue. Anyway, this made me think of something to share with you about sleeping on the job….

The 21 best responses if you are found asleep at your desk (not to be used in class, of course)…

21. “Oh, man! I come in at 6 in the morning, and look what happens!”

20. “This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!”

19. “You don’t discriminate against those with Latient Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, do you?!?”

18. “They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.”

17. “Oh, hi there. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.”

16. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.”

15. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the Liquid Paper.”

14. “I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”

13. “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”

12. “I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.”

11. “I’m doing the Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.”

10. “It worked well for Reagan, didn’t it?”

9. “Just pacing myself for an all-nighter here at work tonight!”

8. “I was working smarter, not harder.”

7. “Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”

6. “I’m in the management training program.”

5. “The coffee machine is broken….”

4. “Someone must’ve put the decaf in the wrong pot this morning.”

3. “Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”

2. “Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!”

1. “…and I especially thank you for my excellent boss. Amen!”

Today I received an interesting picture called “Haircut of the Year” that I thought others might enjoy seeing. Truly bizarre!

Hope you had a nice Bonza Bottler Day today. Mine was just a standard day of classes, except that midterm grades were due.

quotation…

“The Bible doesn’t talk about rights. It talks about responsibility.” - John Hutcheson

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Rob

Do you ever get tired of sleeping?

Sometimes we’re good at planning and sometimes we’re not. Sometimes we make great plans and find that, as has been adapted from the poet Robert Burns, “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” And sometimes we’re not good planners. I’ve received several things lately that highlight good and poor planning. Then I added a favorite “classic” that illustrates some disastrous results of poor planning.

***
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

***
I received this from someone who grew up in Canada and now is a US citizen…

As a country Canada has been much influenced historically by three nations - France, England, and America, and Canadians aren’t quite sure of their identity. So they try to have a flavor from all three, but they have made horrible choices.

The story goes like this … Canadians could have had French cuisine, English culture and American technology but instead chose English food, French technology and American culture.

***
Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust that the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in Block #11 of the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 pounds.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding in a downward direction at an equally impressive rate of speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section III of the accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were 2 knuckles deep into the pulley, which I mentioned in paragraph #2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground–and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to MY weight in Block #11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, and the severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately, only 3 vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.

Policy # xyz1234567890

***
I haven’t posted any pictures of our grandson Drew for a while, so here are several that Grandma and I like.

Drew in his Exersaucer…

Our little “basket case”…

quotation…

“God always sees the individual and the inside and deals with each of us accordingly.” - Dr. Tim Jordan

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Rob

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.