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The Husband Store

Well, wedding season is already in full swing. Since we are in a university context, we are invited to many weddings. This past week we had two weddings - one Tuesday evening where I sang in a duet, and one Friday afternoon - the wedding of a teaching colleague.

We're excited for all these young couples as they begin their lives together, but we're also saddened to learn of some young couples who are working through marital problems. I believe that most if not all problems in marriage have their root in selfishness on the part of one or both spouses. I think some of the problems stem from unrealisitic expectations - expecting that any one human can be your source of happiness.

Today's iv is a light-hearted look at this issue.

The Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch ... you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman excitedly goes to the Husband Store to find herself the perfect husband....

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, "I should probably stop here!" But she feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and reads the sign:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, my goodness!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on up to the sixth floor where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that some women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

The Wife Store

There is actually also a Wife Store, right across the street from the Husband Store. It works the same way as the Husband Store - it also has 6 floors, you can enter only once, and there is only one direction to go.

The doors read:

Floor 1 - These women are beautiful.

Floor 2 - These women are beautiful and have money.

What is on the other floors, nobody knows. No man has ever gone past the second floor!


Megan and Drew arrived safe and sound shortly after noon on Saturday. Drew did very well on his first flight. We decided to surprise Nora by celebrating her birthday a month and a half early since we wouldn't all be together on her actual birthday. That's about the only way we could ever surprise her. 🙂 Here she is blowing out the candles on her keylime cheesecake....

Nora blowing out her candles

Of course Becka enjoyed having our three kids and our grandson here for Mother's Day. Here's a picture of our little guy on our kitchen floor this morning. I'm sure there will be more pictures to share later this week.

Drew playing on the kitchen floor

The house wrens have been busily filling the bird house with sticks. Here's what things looked like inside the house this morning....

the nest the wrens are building

Here's what this bit of "prime real estate" looks like from the outside...

local prime real estate

Who says there's a housing crisis?!?


"There are five Gospels: Matthew Mark, Luke, John, and the Christian, and some people will never read the first four." - Irish evangelist Gypsy Smith

=^..^= =^..^=

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

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6 Comments on “The Husband Store”

  1. #1 Vikki
    on May 15th, 2008 at 11:53 am

    The new nest looks more like a bird garbage dump at this stage… Hope there’s some serious building going on in there now.

  2. #2 Zina
    on May 16th, 2008 at 1:24 am

    We really laughed about this post!!Keep ’em comin’

  3. #3 Rob
    on May 16th, 2008 at 6:02 am

    Good to hear from you, Zina. How are things there in Germany? Will you all get to see the BJU German Team during their time in Deutschland? You’ll have to follow their blog – http://www.bjugermanteam.com/

    There’s not much there yet, but they’re only in their first week – a week that was supposed to be quite full, leaving little time for blogging.

  4. #4 Tammy Hunter
    on May 22nd, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    I enjoyed “The husband Store” and I thought you might enjoy these which I found in a bj textbook. These were written to Giovanni della casa’s nephew in 1558 in the “Book of Manners”

    “Refrain as far as possible from making noises which grate upon the ear, such as grinding or sucking your teeth.”
    “Wit should be like the nibble of a sheep rather than the bite of a dog, for if it were to bite like a dog it would not be witty but insulting.”
    “A man should never boast of his birth , his honors, or his wealth, and still less of his brains.”
    “And when thou hast blown thy nose , use not to open thy handkerchief,…as if thou hadst pearls and rubies fallen from thy brains.”

    Written so long ago but still very practical for today!

  5. #5 Sue
    on Sep 14th, 2008 at 9:00 am

    This is one of my all-time favorite posts. Everyone with whom I’ve shared it has found it hilarious.

  6. #6 Rob
    on Sep 15th, 2008 at 10:26 am

    @Sue – I like it too – which is why I posted it. I was happy to be able to add the Wife Store to the post. The best humor is based in truth! 🙂