Do you ever think you're getting too old for some things or that you've overdone it? I'm starting to wonder if I have maybe overdone it by having two extremely full weekends in a row. Both weekends were totally enjoyable and I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on either the camping trip or the mini-reunion, but I'm definitely feeling the fatigue this week!
Just when I think I may be getting too old for such exploits, we have a chapel speaker this week - Dr. John Dreisbach - who went to do missionary work for several months last year on a little island in Lake Chad, Africa. This island has no running water, no electricity, etc. and Dr. Dreisbach was 86 at the time!
With these thoughts swirling through my mind, I'm passing something along that I think you'll find humorous, no matter what you think of Trick or Treating.
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when...
10. you get winded from knocking on the door.
9. you have to have someone else chew the candy for you.
8. you prefer high fiber treats.
7. someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. people say, "Great Boris Karloff mask," and you're not wearing a mask.
5. the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. by the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. you have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. you're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one reason you may be getting too old to go Trick or Treating...
1. you have to keep going by your house to use the restroom.
quotation...
"No matter who is in the White House or whether our economy tanks, my personal responsibilities before God remain the same." - Dr. Drew Conley
=^..^= =^..^=
Rob
I let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
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on Oct 23rd, 2008 at 10:57 am
Rob,
I have to tell you that I really laughed when I read these and I had to forward them. Thanks for the funny lines. For some reason they really struck me funny.
on Oct 23rd, 2008 at 11:48 am
I can identify with a couple of these…
I sure hope someone is writing Dr. Dreisbach’s life story.
on Oct 23rd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
@Pam – I laughed too, albeit a little nervously.
Glad you thought it was worth sharing.
@Barbara – I join you in your hopes that someone is writing a biography of the Dreisbachs. Today’s chapel (which was after I posted this blog post) was incredible! It’s been a wonderful week of Missions Emphasis.
on Oct 23rd, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I know I’m too old to trick or treat and it’s not because of the reasons you listed.
I am more and more disturbed by the number of adults who keep dressing up for Halloween and some even go so far as to go out and beg for candy with all the little kids. The holiday has lost a lot of its innocence.
And, why would you ever get anyone a Halloween card?
on Oct 23rd, 2008 at 3:35 pm
@Michael – I agree about adults Trick or Treating. We do not turn our porch light on because our neighborhood is known to be a “safe” neighborhood for Trick or Treaters. Therefore, people come to our neighborhood from all over Greenville, young and old, to get some of the goodies given out quite generously here. We simply cannot afford to (and really have no desire to) give candy to literal hundreds of strangers, many of whom are too stupid to say “Trick or Treat” and too crass to say “thank you” for candy that people are really under no obligation to give them. When friends bring their children to show us how cute they are, that’s a completely different story – and we have candy on hand for them. But things have otherwise gotten way out of hand. Ours is a dark little cul-de-sac on Trick or Treat night, and the marauders pass us by.
on Oct 23rd, 2008 at 8:03 pm
I completely understand why you leave your porch light off. I plan to do the same in regards to our porch light. Any suggestions for the unfortunates who don’t live in a cul-de-sac and would like to be passed by? Should I install an electric fence? or maybe just a siren that goes off by a sensor…
on Oct 23rd, 2008 at 8:21 pm
@Dave – I would definitely opt for the siren rather than the electric fence. If you had any thoughts of barbed wire or landmines or worse, abandon them posthaste!
on Oct 23rd, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Words draw pictures in the mind. Yours draw chuckles from my . . . where do chuckles come from anyway?
on Oct 23rd, 2008 at 11:11 pm
I too am disturbed by the modern practice of Halloween. I can’t even take my kids to Wal-Mart without being accosted by headless ghouls. It seems like so much of the stuff is death, skeletons, spiders. . .
Michael, I too wondered why Halloween cards were even printed until I saw one that was totally priceless and I bought it! On the front, Hillary was dressed up like a witch for Halloween and on the inside it said, “What did you expect, your fairy godmother?” I trust my snorks and guffaws didn’t disturb too many other customers.
on Oct 24th, 2008 at 5:52 am
@Wade – Glad you got a chuckle out of this post, though I’m not sure of their provenance either. If it was a belly laugh, then that would be easier to determine….
@Carrie – There definitely seems to be a lot of darker stuff in association with Halloween. But then considering the origin of the “holiday,” that should come as no surprise. I enjoyed your amusement over the Hillary card. I’ve seen and read quite a bit of humor that casts her frequently in that role, and a local radio station frequently plays the little song from the Wizard of Oz when the neighbor lady was riding along with Toto in the basket of her bicycle. Hmm…, type casting?