weird science
A freshman at Eagle Rock High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair a few years back. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to the alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical “dihydrogen monoxide.” And for plenty of good reasons, since it can
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1. cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. accidental inhalation can kill you
5. it contributes to erosion
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
He asked 50 people if they would support a ban of the chemical. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was water!
The title of his prize winning project was, “How Gullible Are We?” He believes that the conclusion is obvious.
Water is on the minds of a lot of us right now - the flooding in the Midwest and the severe drought in the Southeast. Our lawn is crunchy because I simply can’t afford to spray dihydrogen monoxide on it as well as the Lord can. Speaking of water, just today I received a link to an interesting picture from nasa.gov - a picture of water on Mars - http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/0504/WaterOnMars2_gcc.jpg
Though we try to live responsibly in our house, I for one am getting sick to death of hearing the expressions “green” and “global warming” - basically having them crammed down my throat. I strongly suspect that it is driven more by agenda than by science. And people are gullible enough to fall for it, lapping up whatever the alarmists dish out.
Now some more weird science, possibly as credible as some of what we’re being assailed with lately….
Then there are those students who aren’t quite as lucid as the freshman in the first story….
A teacher sent me the following list of comments from test papers, essays, etc., submitted to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As she noted, “It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.”
“H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water”
“To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube”
“When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide”
“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”
“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.”
“Blood flows down one leg and up the other.”
“Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.”
“The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.”
“Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire”
“A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”
“Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.”
“The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.”
“The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.”
“A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.”
“The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.”
“A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.”
“Equator: A managerie lion running around the earth through Africa.”
“Germinate: To become a naturalized German.”
“Liter: A nest of young puppies.”
“Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.”
“Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.”
“Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky.”
“Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.”
“Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives.”
“Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.”
“To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.”
“For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.”
“For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.”
“For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.”
“To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.”
Who knows, one of these young scholars could have first come up with the global warming hoax….
The poll that I had up for a week revealed that over 80% of my visitors prefer that I leave the picture of the Paris skyline at the top of my blog, and so there it remains. Thanks to those who took the time to give their input.
My most recent blog post was about senior swingers and their personal ads. This weekend we received some pictures of a young swinger … our grandson Drew. Here are a few of the pictures we received:
quotation…
“Today people boldly redefine right and wrong. … The reason we want to redefine things is because we don’t like the guilt we feel when we keep falling short” - Dr. Drew Conley
=^..^= =^..^=
Rob
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
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10 Comments to “weird science”
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Mr. Loach,
Your grandson Drew is so adorable! I love seeing the pictures you post of him and watching how he has grown. He looks like he’ll be walking before too much longer!
Hey Rob:
I want you to get out in your front yard and spray some of that dihydrogen monoxide on that brown grass so it will turn GREEN because you are contributing to”global warming” if your yard is not GREEN.
Drew is getting so big!
Haha. I taught 7th grade Science 2 years ago in Indiana, and I wish now I’d saved some of THEIR priceless answers to things–some of these you have here look a lot like my students’ great scientific breakthroughs.
Drew is just the cutest thing. Thanks for sharing!
I’m a firm believer that the word expert comes from two words. Ex - previous or former, and Spurt - a drip under pressure. Therefore an expert is a former drip under pressure.
@Laura, Lynnette, and Sherry,
It’s fun to share our little guy with my readers. Thanks for putting up with Grandpa.
@Roy,
I’m not quite sure how the color of my lawn affects something that is a figament of the imagination of people who want to control others. I haven’t quite figured out how global warming can be responsible for both the flooding in the Midwest and the drought here in the Southeast.
@Jonathan,
I always heard that an expert is someone from out of town.
Your explanation about the spam filter here with the comment box is helpful, Rob.
I continue to enjoy the IV humor, but I have to say the pictures of Drew are also a big draw to checking your “blague”! 
Ha! Kids (and other uninformed people) say the funniest things. When I taught 4th grade I was on the receiving end of a few. Please–never stop with the Drew pics!
Why not add different polls from time-to-time? Maybe something crazy or nonsensical. Is there some way for us to see the number of yes and no votes? Just a thought. . .
Vikki,
I’ve put out another poll question, but I cannot figure out how to get past poll results to display. On the poll I closed about the picture at the top, there was a total of 58 votes, 47 (81%) of whom said to keep the picture, 8 said not to keep it, and 3 said they had no opinion.