ivman's blague rotating header image loading ... please wait....

What Do You Get When You Cross a…?

picture of DNA

I don't usually think much about genetics, but lately it's been brought back into focus in our lives. Our appearance and myriad other physical traits come from our ancestors through our parents. Among those traits are tendencies toward certain ailments, allergies, etc. It's all written into our DNA. For instance, diabetes does not run in my family — it gallops! I knew that it was not a matter of if, but rather when, I would become diabetic. On my mom's side of the family, at least three generations before mine have all developed type 2 diabetes. I am now dealing with being officially pre-diabetic, doing my best through lifestyle changes to delay the development of diabetes as long as possible.

My wife Becka learned some years ago that she is allergic to aspirin (more accurately salicylates), just as her mother was. Through our daughter Nora's recent experiences, it appears that she has inherited the same allergy. Our son Mark has had the same reaction I had to the cleaning agent now used on blood donors. Fortunately our kids have inherited Becka's good eyesight and not my poor vision. Unfortunately Mark has inherited my flat, narrow feet. And if what we're told about diabetes and genetics is true, my children will probably all develop diabetes at some point in the future, as will my grandchildren, and so on. Sorry, kids.

Some time ago, I found a fun picture that illustrates how genetics works.

picture of genetics

Twins, especially identical twins, hold a special fascination for many of us. I loved both of the following geeky explanations for twinning.

picture of twins

picture of twins

This past summer when we visited the petting zoo at the Creation Museum, we saw the zonkey and the zorse. Here's a picture of the two of them together.

picture of zonkey and zorse

On their website they have an article called Horses of a Different Color about these two animals.

As a spin-off of all these considerations, I'll share a few "What do you get when you cross a...?" jokes.

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?
An animal that can milk itself.

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a rainstorm?
A wet blanket.

What do you get when you cross a snake with a set of building blocks?
A boa constructor.

What do you get when you cross a worm with an elephant?
Great big holes in your garden.

What do you get when you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armour.

What do you get when you cross a tourist and an elephant?
Something that carries its own trunk.

What do you get when you cross a thief with an orchestra?
Robbery with violins.

What do you get when you cross a labrador dog with a tortoise?
An animal that goes to fetch and comes back with last week's newspaper.

What do you get when you cross a flea with a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with four-leaf clovers?
A rash of good luck!

What do you get when you cross an artist with a policeman?
A brush with the law.

What do you get when you cross a baby with a UFO?
An unidentified crying object.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish and they have twins?
A pair of swimming trunks.

What do you get when you cross a spider with a horse?
I don't know, but if it bites you, you can ride it to the hospital.


Do you have a favorite joke in this genre that you'd like to share in the comments?


"I like to tell people I want no child left on his behind. Kids don't need to go to a gym or lift weights. They just need to play." - Keith-Thomas Ayoob, RD, as quoted by The Spokesman-Review

=^..^= =^..^=

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Print This Post Print This Post

If you enjoyed this post, to get updates when I post to my blog, sign up for your preferred method below — RSS, Twitter, or e-mail.

7 Comments on “What Do You Get When You Cross a…?”

  1. #1 Kathie
    on Aug 19th, 2010 at 8:49 am

    What a fun post to read! Our family has been asked to go thru genetic testing because all 6 of my children have inherited my dairy and egg allergies…which is supposedly not a true allergy but a genetic defect. Whatever! But the whole issue of genetics does fascinate me. Maybe it’s because I have two sets of twins…and they don’t run in either family. Thanks again for a fun post!

    Rob adds: I’m glad you enjoyed the post, Kathie. Two sets of twins?! That’s pretty amazing, considering you don’t have them on either side of the family. My wife helps the students with different food allergies and intolerances at BJU. They seem to be increasingly common.

  2. #2 Vikki
    on Aug 19th, 2010 at 9:16 am

    What do you get if you cross centipede and a parrot?
    A walkie talkie

    What do you get if you cross a chicken with a dog?
    Pooched eggs

    What do you get if you cross a cow with a grass cutter?
    A lawn mooer

    What do you get if you cross a large computer and a beefburger?
    A big mac

    What do you get if you cross an overheating large computer with a beefburger?
    A big mac and fries!

    Rob adds: This is a great start to the reader contributions. Keep ’em coming. Thanks, Vikki!

  3. #3 Carrie
    on Aug 19th, 2010 at 11:16 am

    Those twin pictures are adorable and I LOVE the kid in the checkers! Too funny!

    Rob adds: I almost added them when I did the geek post, but this seemed like a better use of the twin pictures. I don’t know how long I’ve had the black and white picture, just waiting for the perfect post to include it. Glad you enjoyed them, Carrie.

  4. #4 Kathie
    on Aug 19th, 2010 at 8:30 pm

    I should’ve explained that my first set of twins were heaven sent at 20 weeks gestation. I had 5 miscarriages, one between each live pregnancy. And yes, everyone but hubby is allergic to dairy and eggs. But I have to say, these two issues ended up being the biggest blessings in my life. I have been able to comfort many a crying friend when they went through their miscarriages. I know all the scriptures that comfort a crying Momma with empty arms.

    As far as our allergies, I feel SO blessed that we are ALL allergic. I can’t imagine living in a household where some of my children could have yummy ice cream and others couldn’t. What a blessing. Besides that, since we can’t eat most anything out of a can or box, we have a healthy diet. PTL

    I was at BJU when Ron Hamilton was diagnosed with eye cancer. I remember Dr. Bob Jr. asking us in chapel to pray for Ron that day. I fully understand when Ron says that losing his eye ended up being his biggest blessing. I am reminded of that day every time we sing Oh Rejoice in the Lord.

    My cousin, Brenda Bitterman Jackson, is a missionary with Wycliffe who lost her hubby, Chet Bitterman, to terrorists in Bogata, South America in 1980. Three months after Chet’s murder, Brenda made the statement that she was finally able to thank God for Chet’s murder. I didn’t understand it at the time, but now I do.

    Thanks for letting me share that with you. Every morning I wake up and ask myself what I can do to advance the Kingdom of God. These two issues have opened many doors that otherwise would have been shut.


    Rob adds: Thanks for sharing more, Kathie. I remember when my dad died of a massive heart attack at age 42, I had just memorized 1 Thessalonians 5:18 the week before. The Lord brought that verse strongly to my mind as I drove to my parents’ home that evening, and I asked Him, “Lord, do you expect me to thank you for this?!” In my heart He responded, “Yes.” And so I thanked Him by saying, “I don’t know why you allowed this, but I trust you and I thank you.” The bitterness that had started to well up in me just drained away, and I ended up singing the rest of the drive home. I went through hard times of missing dad, but I still trusted the Lord. As 2 Cor. 1:3-4 tell us, He comforts us so that we can comfort others when they need it (loose paraphrase there). He’s doing that in and through you, Kathie. PTL, indeed!

  5. #5 Mary
    on Aug 20th, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    Thanks to Kathie for her comments. They were a blessing to me today.

    Rob adds: I second that, Mary.

  6. #6 Ray
    on Aug 23rd, 2010 at 11:49 am

    I’ve heard it said that genetically we are unique collections of non-unique traits. Of course these traits were present in the genesis our first parents — Adam and Eve.

    Rob adds: I understand that we are actually devolving as more and more mutations and genetics weaknesses are added to the gene pool with the passage of time.

  7. #7 Ray
    on Aug 24th, 2010 at 9:44 pm


    Only in the minds of those who deny God and his Word can “down” mean “up”… i.e. the second half of Romans chapter 1.


    Rob adds: All too true, Ray.