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Why?


Some of you might be wondering why I posted the picture of the couple the other day, and more likely wondering "who are they?!" The young people in the picture are Bill and Hillary. I found the picture online and thought others might find it as amusing as I did.

I don't know why I'm posting the following today....

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is no money in the account?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" We know it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you idiot!"?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? To get to the same side?

Why did they make the word 'dyslexia' so hard to read?

Why didn't a pilgrim's pants always fall down since they wore their belt buckles on their hats?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? They're just stale bread to begin with.

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins to ring?

Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it means?

Why does soap always lather white, no matter what color the bar is?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Why do noses run and feet smell?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why don't they just make food stamps edible?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

Why do stand-up comedians star in sitcoms?

Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?

Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already there?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why, in a country with free speech, are there phone bills?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why is bottled lemon juice made mostly of artificial ingredients, but dish washing liquid contains real lemons?

Why is it called a hamburger, when it's made out of beef?

Why is it that when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?

Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food? Or cat-flavored dog food?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same?

Why are there Braille keypads on drive-up ATMs?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

quotation...

"Praise is an exercise in reality." - Dr. Thurman Wisdom

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?


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5 Comments on “Why?”

  1. #1 Jonathan
    on Jan 8th, 2008 at 11:07 am

    In Edgar Rice Borrough’s original Tarzan book, Tarzan shaves with a sea shell that he sharpens on a stone. Other than that, I don’t know.

  2. #2 Donna
    on Jan 8th, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Another question …

    Why do ravel and unravel mean the same thing?

  3. #3 Rob
    on Jan 8th, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    Jonathan, that Tarzan was quite a guy! I think it would have taken more than that to shave off my beard, though. You can see my beard in the pictures below, before I shaved it off last week….

    My wife didn’t really love it – the mustache was the main offender – like a big toothbrush – not at all soft like the mustaches of some of my bearded friends!

    As for me, I could take or leave the beard, liking the look in general, but not liking the fact that it made me look even older than I already look!

    And so, in deference to my wife’s sensitivities, my beard is “histoire.”

    Rob, the ivman

  4. #4 Jonathan
    on Jan 10th, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    Is that the 1st thing that you have found unbelievable about Tarzan? Maybe that’s why they had to make Jane a blonde.

    Jonathan

    ivman adds:
    No, it’s not the first unbelievable thing about Tarzan, and definitely one of a bazillion unbelievable things!

  5. #5 Tita Seegar
    on Jan 11th, 2008 at 12:13 am

    It’s definitely weird to see alot of the male faculty with beards. My brother is one of them and I just saw him last Sunday. Tita Schnaiter Seegar

    ivman adds:
    I haven’t seen Sam yet, Tita. I’ll have to make it a point to see him.