Do you like slappy slogans? Today's corporate world often weds a slogan to their eye-catching logos to keep their brand in the minds of those targeted by their advertising. Some are mere hype, almost like motivational posters, while others really are successful at capturing the essence of the company and its services or products.
Our laptop that was recently assailed by spyware/worms/Trojan horses/whatever is an HP Pavilion that we've had for two years. Hewlett-Packard's advertising slogan is "HP Invent." It's concise and sounds kind of neat, but I'm not sure what it is supposed to tell the consumer concerning HP's products. When I ordered the CD's to restore our laptop, HP mailed them to me through FedEx, which I understand is a sister company of HP. I had to pay $14.95 for shipping and handling. When I saw from the tracking that the CD's were picked up in Greenville SC, shipped to Charlotte NC, and then back to where we live in Greenville SC, I labeled it "shipping and mishandling." FedEx's slogan is "Relax, it's FedEx." It's not that I wasn't relaxing, but it was puzzling to watch the tracking, wondering where else my CDs's would go before I got them. And believe it or not, they arrived the day after I ordered them! But I could have driven to pick them up more cheaply than the cost of shipping and mishandling....
I looked in my files to see if I had anything along this line and found some "work slogans." I think that some must be the slogans of the employees rather than the employers.
Slogans at the Work Place
We put the "K" in "Kwality"
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings – they did it by killing all those who opposed them
A person who smiles in the face of adversity ... probably has a scapegoat
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether
TEAMWORK ... means never having to take all the blame yourself
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos ... then you probably haven't completely understood the situation
We waste time, so you don't have to
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY
Succeed in spite of management
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment
We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do all day
The beatings will continue until morale improves
For those who receive the e-mail versions of my blog posts, I'm sorry for the double mailing. It was just part of getting everything back into place when I uploaded the older, uninfected database. I hope I'm on the "far side" of the worm debacle now! A word to the wise (and anyone else reading this) – if you go to a website and get a message that you need to click on something to update your Flash/Shockwave player, don't do it! Go to the Adobe site to do that update! I think that may be how the rootkit got installed on our system.
Today, tomorrow, and Saturday is the annual Living Gallery on campus. If you live close to Greenville to, you really should consider attending one of the identical presentations. There are still seats available.
This Saturday our daughter Megan and grandson Drew will be arriving to spend a week with us. Brace yourself for pictures and stories next week. 
Do you have a favorite company slogan? Can you share one that either makes no sense or is just plain wrong?
quotation...
"Every time you sin, you're worshiping the devil." - David Hosaflook
=^..^= =^..^=
Rob
The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
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on Apr 10th, 2009 at 8:18 am
The slogans are great, Rob. Do you mind if I use some of them for my Public Safety professionalism class in our in-service? I’d like to do a running slide show of signs while the students are settling in to their seats.
on Apr 10th, 2009 at 9:07 am
@Janet – Go for it, Janet! You are free to use these for your class.
on Apr 10th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Love that last comment, about appreciating your job! I have to keep doing that, since my husband has been laid off for 4 months. I AM so glad I still have a job, even though I wish I could be home. ( repeat, as I click my ruby red slippers together…)
on Apr 10th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Here are a couple of my favorites:
On the side of a truck that cuts holes in structures: “You should see what I saw.”
On the side of a dump truck in Colorado Springs driven by a woman, “What’s a nice girl like me doing in a dump like this?”
A business that specializes in repairing fences in Colorado Springs is The Fence Doctor. All employes have a P.H.D. (post hole digger)
Their web site has even more of these doctor puns.
on Apr 11th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
On a totally unrelated note, happy anniversary! I hope you and your wife had a wonderful day celebrating your first day as “man and wife.”
on Apr 12th, 2009 at 7:22 am
Thank you, Ellen for your wishes. It was a very different day for us, but a nice one. Thanks for remembering our 32nd anniversary.
on Apr 12th, 2009 at 7:39 am
@b.j. – When I read that one, I knew I wanted to share it at some appropriate moment. As much as some aspects of our jobs can get to us at times, contemplating the alternative of being jobless can certainly make annoyances seem minimal.
@Arlyn – Thanks for the slogans you added and for pointing us to The Fence Doctor.
on Apr 12th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Not exactly a slogan, but still humorous:
Notice to Employees: “In the event that you anticipate being absent from work, you must request permission to be absent at least one month in advance. In the event of your death, you are still required to give two weeks’ notice.”
Which of course reminds me of the form letter sent out by the Social Security Administration many years ago. The last sentence of the letter read as follows: “We understand that you have died. If your condition changes within the next two weeks, please inform this office by mail or by phone.”
on Apr 13th, 2009 at 9:27 am
@David – Very humorous, indeed! It sounds like the kind of stuff some businesses and our governmental agencies would crank out!