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World’s Thinnest Books


During our week of "forced vacation" - a gift we would not have given ourselves (we don't normally give gifts that expensive!!!) - we got some extra, much-needed rest and did some little jobs around Jim and Meg's house that they don't normally have time for. We also got in some extra reading. For those especially who don't have time to read books as long as War and Peace or the unabridged version of Les Misérables, here's a list of books that, because of their subject matter, are all *extremely* short.

WARNING - Almost anything that one could poke fun at is probably found in this list. Laugh at the things you find amusing, and skip over the rest, knowing that others may be skipping over what you've just laughed at! I have even left in some that make fun of things dear to me! 8-)

The World's Thinnest Books...

An Airhead's Advice on Logical Thinking

A Guide to Arab Democracies

A Guide to Aboriginal Etiquette

A Journey Through the Mind of a Squid

America's Most Popular Lawyers

A Millennium of German Humor

Anagrams of the Word "A"

Beauty Secrets, by Janet Reno

Bedouin Olympic Swimmers

Behave Yourself, by David Letterman

Blind Dates That Worked Out

Bob Dole: A Collection of Motivational Speeches

Burger King Items That Start with "Mc"

Career Opportunities for History Majors

Cooking Gourmet Dishes with Tofu

Countries Where Socialism Is Successful

Detroit, A Travel Guide

Easy Unix

Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance

Everything Men Know About Women

Everything Women Know About Men

Famous Italian War Heroes

Favorite Foreign Emigration Destinations of the French

French Military Victories

Good Norwegian Jokes

Household Uses for Plutonium

How I Served My Country, by Jane Fonda

How to Be a Successful Politician, by Jesse Jackson

How to Sustain a Musical Career, by Art Garfunkel

How We Helped After Katrina, by Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton

Italian War Heroes

Jewish Sports Legends

Law & Order, by Mayor Marion Barry, Washington D.C.

Marcel Marceau's Greatest Speeches

Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette

My Book of Morals, by Bill Clinton, foreword by Jesse Jackson

My Favorite Barbers, by Yassir Arafat

My Plan to Find the Real Killer, by O. J. Simpson

My Tips on Personal Hygiene, by Osama Bin Laden

National Directory of Irish AA Members

Olympic Athletes Who Think Sports Are Really Stupid

Spotted Owl Recipes, by the EPA

One-Legged Folk Dances

On Human Rights, by Fidel Castro

Proper Pronunciation and Elocution, by George W. Bush and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Proud Parents of Rock Musicians

Public Political Activities During Franco's Government in Spain

Scottish World Cup Successes

Staple Your Way to Success

Successful Applications of Artificial Intelligence

Sylvester Stallone's Dramatic Acting Tips

The Amish Phone Book

The Best Recipes from England

The Engineer's Guide to Fashion

The Genius of Barry Manilow

The Road to Lasting Economic Success, by Boris Yeltsin

Things I Can't Afford, by Bill Gates

Things I Like about Road Construction, by Rob "ivman" Loach

Things We Know To Be True, by Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and John Kerry

Things I Love About Bill, by Hillary Clinton

Things We Love About the USA, by Jane Fonda and Cindy Sheehan. Illustrated by Michael Moore

Things I Would Not Do for Money, by Dennis Rodman

Things That Look Like an Apple, Taste Like an Apple, But Are Not an Apple

Things You Could Buy at the World Artichoke Festival

Vice Presidents with Really Good Ideas

Ways I Have Avoided Scandal, by Bill Clinton

Ways I Effectively Modulate My Vocal Tone, by Hillary Clinton

Why People Are More Important Than Animals, by Greenpeace

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For those interested in an update after our accident...

After getting our car back late in the morning yesterday (Friday the 13th), Becka and I drove back home to Greenville, arriving at about 12:20 this morning.

We really appreciated the cheerfulness and the help of the guys in the body shop at Dorian Ford in Clinton Twp, MI, as they repaired all the damage done under our car by the concrete in the road. My main contact person there was Allen Vukmirovich, the body shop foreman - a really nice guy who worked hard in our behalf. Thanks, Allen! (His picture is below.)

Allen V. - the body shop foreman

We thoroughly enjoyed our time with Megan, Jim, and Drew, and we miss them already. But, as always, it is nice to be back home. We were surprised when we figured it up that we have been able to spend three whole weeks this summer with Megan and her family!

Our 700-mile "test drive" of our repaired car went well, except for a couple of traffic jams that added a total of an hour to our trip. (A tip for anyone considering a drive south on I-75 through Lexington, KY - plan some delay into your trip. Because of road destruction, three lanes are narrowed to two lanes between mile markers 111 and 109, right about where I 64 goes off to the east. The 5-mile traffic back up began at mile marker 116.) Fortunately we had just stopped for gas and dinner a couple of miles before that.

We spent so much time simply enjoying our grandson Drew, that we suddenly realized that we had taken hardly any pictures! We snapped off some desperate, last-minute pictures before leaving. Here are several:

Drew is almost as long as this section of the Pack 'n Play now!

Drew is almost as long as this section of the Pack 'n Play now!

We tried to get some smiles out of him as we said goodbye outside ... finally with success!

Come on, Peanut, smile for us!

Grandma's really working on it

We miss his smile already!

We miss that little smile very much already!

quotation...

"We make choices, but God is in control the whole time." - Dr. Bob Payne

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?


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4 Comments on “World’s Thinnest Books”

  1. #1 David McGuire
    on Jul 14th, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    As usual, great pictures of your grandson. Say, if you would like some of my grandson, I could supply them as well!

    How about this for a title:

    The Intellectual Achievements of College Freshmen

  2. #2 David
    on Jul 15th, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    Here’s one from the UNIX admins among us:

    A Better Mousetrap: The definitive guide to writing a stable and secure Operating System, by Bill Gates

  3. #3 B.J.
    on Jul 16th, 2007 at 9:44 am

    Some of these had me laughing out loud here at work! The Amish phonebook one is funny, but, you would be surprised to know just how thick their directory is. Of course, that is mostly filled with addresses. They do have quite a few phones in the community, however, and continually growing. Especially with cellphones now! It’s surprising how many of them have cell phones hidden away in their pockets. Easy to hide, so no one “knows” about it.

  4. #4 Rebecca
    on Jul 18th, 2007 at 11:09 am

    Hunting safety tips, by Dick Cheney


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